Chapter 5: Repaying My Sins

“Luhan!” yelled Kyungsoo, shaking his friend. “Stop stressing out, we both know that Sehun will probably never remember you. Don’t you remember what he did to you? You can’t just run back to him like a puppy doll.”

Luhan slowly hims stomach, the scar still left from the twin’s birth. “But-but Kyungsoo-ah, Sehun is the father of my children,” Luhan fell on to Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Shouldn’t he have the privilege of knowing that he has children.” Luhan carefully latched himself to his owl eyed friend. “Kyungsoo-ah..” Luhan whispered hoarsely, “I can’t do this. I can’t be here, just tell Baekhyun I needed to leave-” 

“Luhan!” yelled Kyungsoo pulling Luhan’s arm back, “What happened to you, Lulu? You either want to run back to him or avoid him like the black plaque.” Kyungsoo grabbed a glass of orange juice from the counter, “Here, drink up.” 

Luhan slowly swallowed the warm juice, avoiding Kyungsoo’s eyes. 

Luhan has not need Oh Sehun in five years and three months counting. He has thought of him for every day of those torturous five years. He has endured pain beyond what he deserves, he has given his children what he could. He has fulfilled everything that a human could possibly need in their lives, heartbreak, love, honesty, forgiveness, respect, he has done it all.. except for one. He has yet to talk to his past love interest, the father of his beautiful twins. 

Luhan glanced up at Kyungsoo again, but he hasn’t even moved. The owl eyed male seemed too interested on staring Luhan down as if it would end one’s life if he looked away. Luhan quickly lowered his head again in embarrassment, taking another gulp of the juice. Now, it was sickeningly sweet.

Kyungsoo sighed and uncrossed his arms and draped them across the counter. He seemed like a mother ready to consult his child on a serious matter. 

“You know, I admire you, Lulu.” said Kyungsoo smiling, his heart shaped lips turned into a small ‘u’. “I wouldn’t be as strong as you are without Jongin.” Kyungsoo propped one hand to support his chin, “I would be lost if I lost someone so influential in my life, yet you have always managed to move on. You are strong, Luhan. I hope you know that.”

Luhan felt tears melting in his eyes, he quickly changed the conversation. “Who is Jongin? I have never heard of him before.”

Luhan never thought of himself as being someone who is strong. He cries everyday from pitying himself, he can’t be a good enough of a parent to support his children. The poor twin’s don’t even have friends because of him. Luhan buried himself in anger, he was a monster.

“Jongin is my boyfriend, we just got together a month ago.” Kyungsoo said wistfully. Kyungsoo turned his sharp eyes back to his friend, “Don’t try to distract me, we both know you want to just go back home and cry, but you’re stronger than that, Luhan, you’re the strongest person that I know.”

Luhan shook his head, his dark hair shook in waves around him. “I’m not strong Kyungsoo. Just look at me! I can’t do anything right. For goodness sakes, Kyungsoo. I can’t even make sure Haowen and Ziyu have friends. I’m disgusting, Kyungsoo-ah. No one wants to be with me.”

Kyungsoo scoffed and buried his face in his arms with disappointment. “Luhan, you aren’t disgusting. You do your best and you won’t even accept help from Baekhyun and I. I know who you are.” 

Luhan sniffed, “Thank you Kyungsoo. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Kyungsoo laughs, “That’s why I’m here for you, Lulu. Now go out there before Baekhyun starts panicking. Who knows what he will do with Chanyeol.” Luhan giggled and opened the kitchen door to find his other friend.

“Kyungsoo,” whispered a tan man, sending a cool puff of hair into Kyungsoo’s ear. “Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo fell back into his lovers embrace. “What do you think will happen to Luhan and Sehun?” Jongin only shook his heads, “Stop meddling with their business,” Kyungsoo pouted. Jongin laughed poking his soft cheeks, “I’m sure they’ll get it worked out. Now, why don’t we bring the cake out?”

“Luhan!” yelled a low voice. Luhan had just reached Ziyu and Haowen and was about to fluff Haowen’s hair. 

He quickly turned around, in front of him was none other than Oh Sehun. 

“Sehun..” whispered Luhan carefully backing away, pushing the twins behind him. 

“Luhan, I haven’t seen you in a long time, how are you?” Luhan rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “I don’t want to talk with you, please leave me alone.” 

Sehun grabbed Luhan’s arm, pulling him closer. “Baba!” yelled Ziyu latching on to Luhan’s legs as he glared up to Sehun. “You’re a bad man, you can’t take Baba away from us!” 

Sehun was shocked to say the least. Who was this child that had called Luhan ‘Baba’? Had Luhan gotten married? 

“Luhan.. who is this?” Sehun asked, letting go of Luhan’s arms. Even he was a little intimidated with two pairs of small sharp eyes glaring at him. Luhan wistfully smiled, he glowed. “They are my two boys,” He their cheeks. “It was nice meeting you, but Haowen and Ziyu are hungry. I’m going to get them some cake. Have a lovely day, Sehun-ssi.”

Sehun paused and glared. Why was Luhan being so distant? The last time he had seen him.. everything was going on quite well. He had even given the poor boy a package of dollar bills, it would be enough to survive on for at least a couple of years. Luhan should have thanked him, yet why was he feeling lost?

Luhan let out a big breath, Kyungsoo had given him just the right dose of confidence and he felt like he had done something he should have five years ago, he should have carefully talked with Sehun. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. 

Luhan sliced a large piece of the cake, He could be acquaintances with Sehun, friends even.

It had hurt Luhan to no end from not being able to see his first love, but he felt.. at ease now. He felt as if he had conquered the world.

Authors Note:// I hope you enjoyed this Chapter! Sorry about the slow update, I am a bit stressed for the new school term to begin. 
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