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“We’ve all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That’s who we really are” – Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix, J.K Rowling.

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JUNHO

My heart was pounding in my chest as I stepped closer to the room. I could see him there. He was sitting in the head chair studying the designs I had mailed the company before I came to Seoul. My heart almost stopped beating as I pressed the door handle and stepped in showing my face to them.

Can I just run away and curl up into a ball somewhere dark and then wake up right next to Minjun in the orphanage and realize that all these 12 years had just been a bad dream?

I gulped as I entered the room with everyone staring at me. And then he looked up. I blasted in my head. He looked so handsome now. He had a terrific jawline and his eyes had a charm in them. His hair was shorter now. It was perfectly jelled up and he looked dashing. Like a perfect businessman. He had a slight smile on his face. Meant for me.

Warmth radiated from his eyes. I could tell he was one of those people everybody liked. I was glad he turned out that way. More than happy.

At least the first time he looked at me in 12 years, he had a smile. He wouldn’t even look at me once he remembered who I was. 

But his expression was what I was curious for. It had been just a second since I entered. His expression hadn’t changed. I was glad and sad at the same time.

Glad because he couldn’t remember me. Sad because he didn’t remember me.

And then his expression changed. It took him just a second to realize. His eyebrows furrowed as he got a few hints from his memory. He looked down at my designs and glanced over at the name on top. As he read that, everything changed. I wanted to cry. The slight smile he had also disappeared. He slowly looked up at me and I couldn’t gaze at his eyes anymore. They were filled with…anger.

I looked down and walked to my edge of the table setting my laptop. I could feel his stare on me.

“Hello. I’m Lee Junho” I said after clearing my throat. It took all my energy and willpower to fake that smile.

Chansung’s words were the only thing revolving in my head. Don’t pretend like you don’t know him. I didn’t want to either. I want to chuck all this and go over to him and kiss his lush lips and consume him and apologize my whole life to him.

“Welcome to Seoul. We hear you’ve come back to Seoul after 12 years for this project” one of them said.

“Yes. This project means a lot to me” I said giving a smile as I slowly looked at Minjun. I saw his chest heaving slightly. He probably wanted to smash my head against the wall. His eyes pierced mine and I looked at him with pleading eyes. I didn’t know what he was thinking. I couldn’t make out anything.

“I’m Jung Hosung” the guy from earlier said. I had to tear my eyes away from Minjun to look at him. He had his hand extended and I quickly grabbed it for a handshake.

“And I’m Lee Youngbae” another guy said.

A few people introduced themselves and then it was only him left. He got up from him seat and put his left hand in his pocket. He extended his right hand and said “Kim Minjun”. God, that angelic voice. But something about that tone made me want to run away. I don’t know what expression I showed. I let out my hand and carefully squeezed his, like it was a china doll fragile enough to break if I put more pressure.

His touch was warm. The way his fingers curled around my hand sent shivers down my spine. I thought he’d squeeze the life out of me. But he didn’t. He held my hand delicately and his eyes bore into mine. The look in his eyes only said one thing – Why? And the only thing my eyes showed (or I hoped showed) was – Sorry.

“Shall we start?” one of them asked. I couldn’t register the voice for a second

“Yeah sure” I said breaking the handshake and turned to my laptop. I connected the projector and a flash shone bright on my eyes. I moved away and saw Minjun staring at me, his eyes shooting daggers at me. I preferred the flash glare through the projector.

I saw from behind Minjun that Wooyoung was standing a few feet away from the conference room. Thankful for the glass wall I could see him clearly. His smile really encouraged me somehow. He held a thumbs up and flashed his teeth showing smile. I gave a small smile and started the presentation. I was shocked myself by how confident I sounded. I occasionally looked at Minjun, and I knew he wasn’t paying much attention to what I was saying. He was only studying me. He slightly moved his chair back and forth and then sometimes sideways. He was sitting like a boss. Well, he was my boss now.

At times, the other people in the room would exchange glances at each other and show appreciation for my work. I was doing a good job to impress them. But I wasn’t so sure with Minjun. His eyes bore into mine as we came to the end.

I felt numb. Either my heart had stopped beating, or it was beating so fast I couldn’t feel it. I wanted to know what he was feeling. I couldn’t comprehend his expression. I looked over behind him to see if Wooyoung was there. He was there. Smiling at me. I gave a weak smile back and looked back at the audience in my room.

“Brilliant” Jung Ho Sung said. He seemed to be the speaker because everyone nodded their heads

“I was doubting if we could trust someone outside the country, but it proved worth. Minjun’s idea finally worked out” he said smiling.

So it was Minjun’s idea to get someone outside the country for this project. I wondered if he regretted that decision now that I was the one chosen.

“Alright. Please fix the budget for this plan and give me the details” Minjun said.

“Okay” Kim Young Jae said.

I looked at Minjun with hopes that I’d get some time alone with him and so that I could sort up thing with him.

There was a knock on the door and a lady popped her head in. “Sir, you have an appointment with Madam Lee” she said.

“Oh yes. I’m coming” Jung Ho Sung said as he got up and with him everyone except Minjun got up.

“It was nice meeting you, Junho-ssi. I’m impressed” he said.

“Thank you sir” I said smiling.

Everyone left the room and I was left with Minjun.