_____________________________________________________________________________________

“In order to miss someone, it means you were privileged enough to have them in your life to begin with” – Losing Hope, Colleen Hoover.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

*

MINJUN

As soon as the three of them entered the room, they ran towards Junho and bombarded him with questions.

“What happened to you?”

“How did this happen?”

“Are you okay?”

“I was so worried about you” Suzy said and placed her hand on Junho’s hand.

I grit my teeth and looked away to not show jealousy. Yes, I was jealous. I had specifically asked Wooyoung to get only Jinyoung and Jackson. Did I mention Suzy? No I didn’t. Then why is she here?

I looked over at Wooyoung who was standing there simply going through the files which were left abandoned by everyone on the bed. I pulled Wooyoung to the side.

“I asked you to call Jackson and Jinyoung” I hissed at him.

He gave me a confused look.

I rolled my eyes. “Did I ask to call Suzy also?” I asked.

He looked at me with a confused expression and it dawned on him after a minute. He chuckled and tried to suppress his laughter.

“You’re jealous” he tried to say in his laughter.

My face probably became red as I closed my eyes to calm myself down. I just had to bear with it.

He left the room to laugh his heart out and I turned towards them.

“I’m fine. I’m okay. Don’t worry” Junho said with a small smile. That smile. It made my heart flutter. I smiled unknowingly and he looked at me from in between their huge bodies. I folded my arms and sat on the sofa in the corner of the room. It felt good watching him go through the files and highlighting a few points. The way his subordinates paid attention to him. The way his eyes moved through the text. The way he blinked when he found a fault somewhere. The way his knuckles protruded a little when he wrote something. The way he chewed on the corner of his lip and narrowed his eyes a little when he didn’t understand something.

I was in love with him.

 I frowned as Suzy’s hand made contact with his hands from time to time. And the way she blushed when that happened, made me want to pull them apart and tell her to go back.

I didn’t even realize Wooyoung had come back and was sitting next to me.

“Still jealous?” he said smirking.

He looked like he almost cried laughing.

“Shut up” I said.

“Are they done?” he asked looking at his watch. Oh right, he had to go.

“Almost. I guess they’ll be done in 5 minutes”

“Okay”

Thankfully they were done in 5 minutes.

Suzy said some irritating sweet things to Junho before she left. I gave her a death glare which I hope, creeped her out.

“Hey. I’m leaving now” Wooyoung said to Junho.

“Oh okay. When will you be back?” Junho asked. He was smiling slightly. It made ME feel alive.

“Sunday. I’m leaving tomorrow morning” Wooyoung answered.

“One more thing” he said straightening up.

“Since you’re going to Minjun’s house after this, please take the food stuff from your house since Minjun has a habit of keeping expired food in his house” Wooyoung said to Junho.

“Yah” I said to Wooyoung.

“Okay” Junho giggled. He giggled. That sound was beautiful.

“I’m leaving” Wooyoung said as he hugged me and left.

“Now are you satisfied with your work?” I asked as I sat next to Junho.

“Yes” he replied timidly.

He looked nervous. And that worried me.

“Do you have to say something?” I asked.

“Umm…no. It’s okay”

“Tell me” I said scooting closer to him. I did this when we were small. His eyes glowed as he remembered that. He looked down shyly.

“I…I don’t know how to say this”

“What is it?” I asked as I took his hands in mine.

“You…you were going to jump off that bridge…”

OH. I knew where this was going. But Chansung had said not to dodge these questions.

I looked down and chew on the side of my lip.

“What about it?” I asked still looking down.

“I’m glad you didn’t”

His voice had become soft. I looked up and saw his smiling face. There were tears in his eyes. He gently squeezed my hand and bit his lip.

“I owe my life to Wooyoung for saving you” he said.

I swallowed hard. A lump formed in my throat and it hurt to talk. I placed my hand on the back of his nape and pulled him forward, resting my forehead on his. He closed his eyes as the skin on our forehead made contact.

“Same” I said, with a heavy voice.       

“Please don’t hate me” he said as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I pulled him slightly by his waist and buried my face in his neck.

“I don’t. I’ll never hate you” I said against his warm skin.

Chansung had told me that Junho would feel like this from time to time. I just had to be close to him. I patted his back and stayed that way for some time.

He pulled back slowly and looked down. He was fidgeting with the loose threads of the blanket. I lifted his chin up with my finger and looked into his eyes. He was so adorable.

“I love you. And I’ll patiently wait for the day I will hear these words from your mouth and you’ll trust me completely” I said.

JUNHO

“I love you. And I’ll patiently wait for the day I will hear these words from your mouth and you’ll trust me completely”

He was right. I was scared. But not because I couldn’t trust him, but because I couldn’t trust myself. I was a messed up person. A person who had no idea how to deal with his past no matter how hard he tried.

Minjun was going to wait for me. I had to do this for HIM. I’d become the old Junho for him. I don’t know how I would cope with the ghosts of Marie and Yi Jung haunting my dreams. I’d do something. I had to make an effort to make Minjun believe in me completely.

“But I don’t deserve this” I said.

I didn’t deserve this. But why did I say that out loud?

“You didn’t deserve any of the abuse either”

I looked up at him, my lips quivering.

“Stop blaming yourself Junho” he said brushing my cheek with his thumb.

The way he said my name, the way he brushed my cheek made a whole volcano erupt in my stomach. I longed for him. I wanted to forget everything. But was it easy?

“And stop hating yourself. It’s not your fault” he said.

T