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“Sometimes when we’re in the darkest places, we find the brightest light” – All the Bright Places, Jennifer Niven.

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JUNHO

I almost gasped as he leaned in to kiss me. What was happening? Did he know everything?

His warmth made me feel…good. And I didn’t want this to happen. I slowly placed my hand on his chest to push him away with how much ever energy I had. He moved away and looked into my eyes.

“Do you…know…about me?” I asked. My voice was hoarse.

His eyes became moist and he nodded slightly. I sighed and bit my lip. I wanted to cry. I turned away from his gaze and asked, “Who…told you?”

“Does it matter?” he asked. His voice was more hoarse which made my heart ache.

“Just tell me dammit…”

“What will you do with that piece of information?”

“I just want to know”

He kept quiet.

“Was it Wooyoung?” I asked. Wooyoung couldn’t do this to me. I trusted him to not tell Minjun.

“No” he said.

“So it was Chansung…” I sighed

“Junho…he did it for you”

“I know. I feel like ” I did feel like . Like crap.

“Junho please. You have to forget all that”

“I’ve tried. For the past 8 years”

“I know it’s not easy”

“Please leave me alone” I said.

“I can’t”

“You think I can do something to myself when I’m bedridden like this?”

After a pause he said, “Okay…”

I heard the door open, a few people murmuring outside, and then the door closed leaving me in silence. Just what I needed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“How am I supposed to deal with this?” I whispered to myself. I didn’t realize I had clutched the bed sheets in tight fists.

Why couldn’t I just die?

MINJUN

“What happened?” Chansung asked as I stepped out of the room.

“He’s irritated that…you told me everything”

He turned his head away in frustration.

“I knew this would happen. How do we deal with it?” Chansung asked.

“Didn’t you say he needs to be treated with a lot of love?”

“Yeah. I did. Do you think he’ll respond to us?”

“The way he’s behaving now, I don’t think he will”

“At least he woke up, guys” Wooyoung said. He had a look of the slightest optimism.

“I think…” Chansung pondered.

“What do you think?”

“Till now I thought we shouldn’t remind him of his past. But now, I think…we should let him talk about it. Respond to him. He’ll be free. He won’t have to bury it in him”

“So I reply to him whenever he asks me something about the past?” I asked.

“Yeah”

“Okay”

Wooyoung sighed and buried his face in his hands. I wondered how Wooyoung felt right now. He was close to Junho. Junho had told him about his past before he told me.

A nurse came with a tray of food.

“His food” she said lifting the tray for us to see.

“I wonder if he’ll eat” Chansung murmured.

“We’ll take it from here” Wooyoung said taking the tray.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah” he replied.

I had no idea what he was going to do.

He asked us to stay outside and opened the door. I looked at Chansung who was equally confused as me.

WOOYOUNG

 Once I closed the door, I took a deep breath and closed my eyes gathering my thoughts. Just do it. I opened my eyes and put on a smile. I called out his name chirpily.

“JUNHO. Your food is here”

He turned a little to look at me. He had a very small smile. I kept the tray on the side and helped him sit up. His head rested on the headboard.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked smiling.

I was smiling, but I was aching inside.

“Yeah” he said in a hoarse voice. His smile was also fake. I could see it.

“Were you the one who…got me here?” he asked looking down. He was fidgeting with the threads of his blanket.

“Yeah” I said as I took the soup in the spoon and held it in front of his mouth.

“Why?” he asked looking up. He ignored the spoon and his eyes literally pierced mine.

“I’ll tell you if you finish the food” I said.

“You’re playing with me. You just want me to eat and live”

“Wrong guess” I said. Somehow I managed to keep the smile.

But he didn’t move an inch. It was the first time I saw such a cold expression on his face.

“I promise I’ll tell you if you finish the food” I said.

After a moment, he leaned in and circled his mouth around the spoon, drinking it.

“It’s so bland” he said frowning after the first spoon. For some reason that made me chuckle.

He occasionally looked at me. I wanted to know what he was thinking. At least he was obediently eating. He frowned as I took the bowl of plain rice.

“I don’t like this. Its just plain rice” he murmured.

I smiled and said “You don’t have an option”

“Don’t you want to know why I wanted to die?” he asked.

I was itching to know why he had tried to suicide. Why?

“I want to know. But you can tell me only if you are comfortable telling me”

“