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“It’s amazing how you don’t realize just how alone and scared you were until you have someone by your side to protect you” – Confess, Colleen Hoover.

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WOOYOUNG

I cursed as the fizz of my beer fell on my shirt. Grabbing a tissue from the back of my car, I cleaned the mess. I was under Junho’s building, in my car, since I dropped him back from the bridge. I thought Junho might have reasons for coming back to Seoul after 12 years, but I never thought those reasons would be so dark.

There used to be a shine on his face whenever he talked to me. The moment he told me his past, I could see the barrier he created between us. The way the glint in his eyes disappeared. His rough voice when he asked me to not tell any of this to Minjun. I knew he’d be having a hard time right now. I had been thinking of going upstairs and comfort him. The moment I would place my hand on the car’s door handle, I’d change my mind. He would feel uncomfortable around me.

And it was the most depressing thing for me. Him being uncomfortable in front of me. This was something only I knew. I had started to like him. I liked him even more now. Because he thought I was worthy of his trust to tell me something so big and important. He told it to me before Minjun. Me.

But he was Minjun’s. The only reason I hadn’t hugged him tight and held him close at the bridge, was because he was Minjun’s. Not mine. I hit my head on the headrest. I had to stop my feelings from growing. I couldn’t steal him from Minjun. I placed my foot on the accelerator and was almost going to start the car when my instincts kicked in. I took my phone and dialed his number.

My heart pounded in my chest. He wasn’t picking up. Why wasn’t he picking up? Did he want to avoid me?

I kicked the door open and stepped out of my car. Walking inside the building, I tried to form words in my brain, wondering what I’d say.

As I reached his house, I rang the bell. No response. Another ring. No response.

I was getting frustrated. I knew the passcode to his house. He was so naïve that he set it in front of me. When he barely knew me. His passcode was 1501. The date of Minjun’s birthday. 15 Jan.

Honestly, I was hurt. But I couldn’t do anything about it.

Keep your feelings in control.

“Junho?” I called out as I entered his house. No response.

I called out again a little louder. There still wasn’t any response. I entered his room. His sheets were out and wrinkled and the blanket was partly on the floor. I panicked. This generally meant nothing good. I looked to the left to see the washroom. The door was half open and it was lit.

“Junho?” I called out as I slowly entered the washroom.

“JUNHO!”

He was lying on the floor with an empty bottle near him. I kneeled down next to him and took his head in my lap. I patted his cheek and called his name several times but he just didn’t respond. I took the empty bottle in my shivering hands and realized they were sleeping pills. He had gulped down all of them. How many did he have?

I kept my fingers on his pulse. Very low pulse. Very slow breathing.

I looked around to see if anything could help. I couldn’t even register anything. What the hell did he do to himself?

I bent down and gave him a mouth to mouth. His lips were cold and dry. His face was pale. I pumped his chest with my palms but there still wasn’t any response. His hair stuck to his forehead because of sweat.

I dug the phone out of my pocket and hurriedly called an ambulance.

After a while which felt like forever, I felt relieved as I heard the ambulance sirens. They brought in a stretcher and laid Junho on it. I sat with him in the ambulance, holding his hand as the ambulance drove to the hospital. A nurse injected him with a drug naloxone and said there were chances of his survival. But generally patients go into coma for a long time. Or they die.

My heart beat rapidly as I saw his face getting paler and paler. We reached the hospital and they rushed the stretcher to the ICU.

A tall doctor came running from a room and the nurse told him the situation. He had a well-built body with nerd glasses and perfectly gelled hair. He turned towards me, patted my shoulder and entered the ICU.

I should call Minjun. But it didn’t seem right. He’d come to know everything if he came here. And Junho wasn’t ready for it.

I slumped on a chair outside and buried my face in my palms.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and seriously, I wasn’t in a mood to answer calls. Nevertheless, I took my phone and almost froze at the caller ID. His name popped out in bold.

NICHKHUN

I stared at it for 5 minutes and then finally picked up the call clearing my throat so I don’t sound like a dying frog.

“Hello? Wooyoung?” his sweet voice said.

“Yeah. It’s me”

“I’m boarding the plane right now. So I’ll be there by tomorrow, early morning. We can meet up right?” he asked. I was blank for a minute. And then my eyes widened as I realized I had to pick him up from