Midnight, June 2012

When my brain is blocked and I can’t process ideas, the best thing I can do is go to the balcony and breathe some fresh air.

It’s really good to be on the balcony alone with no one to talk to.

I stayed long enough, so now I’ll get back to my office room.

I am walking back to my office room from the balcony, but out of instinct I stop in my tracks and turn to open the balcony door, and I see a girl with a long, black hair tie up into a ponytail wearing an oversize grey sweater, tight blue jeans, and red converse shoes.

Is she walking in the middle of the night with manager hyung to the office? Can’t she just wait until tomorrow morning to visit?

I question myself, but I start to wonder who she is.  Maybe a call will do.

“Hello?” I hear his voice from the other side of the line.

“Manager hyung, it’s me.”

“Yes, do you need something?”

“I need to ask you something.”

“Just ask”

“Who is the girl with you now?”

“Your new choreographer.”

“Ah, I see, thanks.”

“By the way, where are you?”

“At the balcony.”

“Why don’t you just come here? She’s going to be part of Big Hit and Bangtan too.”

“I’ll do that later, I’m busy now.”

“Okay then.”

That’s the new choreographer then, the one who comes from another country. Bang PD-nim told me this morning about her arrival today. I think she’s younger than me and has Jimin’s age.

I think she’s kind of a tomboy, but she’s cute. It will be funny to see her angry because it was evident that she will be frustrated by our group’s dancing skills.

I stop thinking about it and I start to walk back to the office room. It’s strange, but her face keeps appearing in my head.

September 2012

The girl has stayed with us for three months, but I notice something strange about her.

Why is she not talkative like the other girls? Why does she only smiles when everything is mess up? Is not even a smile it tends to look more like a smirk?

I think the other members are interested in her too. Her introvert character really makes us curious about her. Even Jungkook stares at her with bright eyes and has a sweet smile when he sees her.

Everyone who meets her must be really curious about her.

What’s her favorite food? What’s her ideal type of boy? How many friends she has in Korea? Does she have any brother or sister? What do her parents work on? Why is she always wearing converse high shoes? Why does she always leave her phone in her bedroom in the dorm?

The other members can’t live without their cell phone, even when we’re all in the dorm we have our phones with us. I am even still asking myself why is she here?

But at the same time, she is a cute, really smart, a hard worker, nice to chat and share with, wise and after that there’s nothing more I know about her.

December 2012

It’s been six months observing her secretly. There are several things I have concluded so far.

She has chronic gastritis.

She really loves a hot ramen.

She is a medical student and postponed her school for a year because she wants to be a dancer, her destiny brought her here, and she will stay with us until 2014.

Two days ago, I saw Taeseok and Taehyung in the kitchen making some juice for the members, but suddenly Taehyung broke a cup, it was a transparent cup, and the glass broke in front of Taeseok.

I thought Taeseok will help Taehyung to clean all the pieces of broken glass but she was in shock, I saw her trembling.

 “Tae, Tae, Taehyung-ah, I-I…need to go to my room,” she stuttered out in a low voice and her expression looks disturbed.

“I’m sorry, Taeseok-ah, are you okay?”

“I’m okay,” she responded warily.

She then turned to walk in a hurry to her room. I was really curious, so follow her, secretly.

She entered her room and drank a cup of water. She then took a couple of capsules from a white pill bottle.

What was that? Was that a panic attack? Why did she take some medicine after seeing a broken glass?

It’s really weird.

Besides that, there were other things that I have concluded so far.

She has 2 free days a month (free time to go out from the dorm). During her 2 free days she’ll go out by herself, no members are allowed to join her.

It’s strange because every time we want to eat outside, or buy something, or maybe just hang around the park, she always asks one of us to join her.

Today she has free time, and I planned to be her stalker for today.

After she is out from the dorm she puts on a hat and covers her face with a mask.

Was she undercover?

I put on some black glasses to cover up a bit.

She walks to the train station and enters the train, and we were about 8 meters apart from each other.

The train did some stops, but after 10 minutes riding, she stood up when the train arrived at the “Konkuk University Station.”

I followed her carefully watching her every step until we stopped at the Konkuk University Medical Center.

I think she has an appointment with a doctor, but God, what happen to her?

I followed her inside and after greeting a lady at the counter she then proceeds to enter a room.

I squinted my eyes to see the words labeled in the door, and I was in shock when I realize it was the office of a psychiatrist.

Is she crazy?

If she’s, then how is she preparing to be a student in a medical school?

It’s really confusing, I thought.

I have been for 30 minutes, and she was still not coming out.

I sigh and take off my glasses to see the surrounding more clearly.

Out of a sudden, I see a handsome guy that somewhat look like Park Hae Jin wearing a medic coat and there was something written on it. It read - Na Young Seok – Surgery Department. 

The Park Hae Jin lookalike enters the same room Taeseok entered before, and analyzing the situation I start to ponder over the idea that he might be her brother.

I did notice some similarities, I am not sure, but it might be truth.

Ah, this weird girl is so confusing. I’ll wait here because I seriously need to talk to her.

The handsome surgeon comes out from the room, but I don’t see Taeseok.

A million questions erupt in my mind but they are all left unanswered, and everything is provoked by that weird girl.

While waiting for her I type in the name of the psychiatrist she was meeting following the name indicated in the door and I started to search some information until I found something.

The doctor is a specialist in disorders like anxiety, he works with depression and also with psychosomatic medicine.

God, what’s wrong with her?

Why am I so worried like this?

“Jin oppa, what are you doing here?”

I think someone is calling me.

I jerked my head up and I my eyes meet Taeseok. She was standing in front of me.

“You owe me a long explanation, Taeseok-ah.”

“Are you following me?” she asked.

“You can say that; I can’t deny it.”

“Oh God! You are just overreacting.”

“And you are just making me really curious yet worry about you! But, hey, at least I have become a handsome stalker for you today.”