Chapter Twenty-one

Seohyun felt Luhan’s shirt soaked with her tears. She did not know how long she had been crying, but she had already calmed down a bit. Still, she sobbed and sniffed against his chest, unintentionally smelling his fragrance. He smelled like honey and mint combined – gentle and manly. His scent was unexpectedly comforting to her senses and, though she meant to do otherwise, she clung to him; her body felt weak and limp as it leaned on his body for support.
JUNG SEOHYUN!
Seohyun summoned her old self to slap some sense into her and wake her up.
GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU STUPID GIRL! STOP CRYING OVER ONE BOY AND CLINGING TO ANOTHER! YOU MAY BE LIVING IN YOONA’S MEMORIES BUT YOU’RE STILL THE STRONG JUNG SEOHYUN!
Using all her strength left, she pushed at his chest, shoving him away a little too harshly. Luhan was surprised at how strong the force had been. She stepped away from him, keeping a safe distance between them.
“I had never broken down in front of anyone before, not even in front of my mother.” Seohyun said, her voice hoarse from crying, as she wiped her wet face with her palms.
Luhan knew he should not believe her; after all, she was the Nixon Princess – soft and fragile. But he mysteriously believed she was telling the truth.
“Please don’t tell this to anyone. Nobody can’t know that I had been weak, even for just a few minutes. It’s already horrible to think that you already know my weak spot.” She was talking again, moving to sit on the couch behind her.
He sat beside her, two feet away from her. He did not want to scare her. No, not scare, alarm. Something tells him that scared is not part of her vocabulary. He did not want to alarm her.
“What’s so wrong if people know you’re weak? Everybody has a weakness and sometimes, it’s from our weakness that we get our strength. So why are you afraid of people seeing your weakness?” He gently asked her.
“I’m not afraid!” She snapped at her, contrasting his tone.
Luhan was obviously taken aback. Had she really hated him that much after the incident with Chorong? She used to be really gentle with him.
Noticing Luhan’s innocent pair of eyes wide in surprise, Seohyun quickly added. “You can’t let people know about your weakness or they’ll use it against you. And that would make you weaker.”
He stared at her, not knowing how to react. He felt as if he was staring at a totally different person. She was not the same girl he saw at the park, fighting for her feelings for him. She reminded him of someone else, someone he admired for being fierce and cool.
“This is the first and last time I’d ever cry over Myungsoo Janus… over a boy, in general. So don’t get your hopes up. You can’t use anything against me.” She was saying again.
He stared right into her round eyes. She looked feisty from the outside, and the scowl she wore terrified him. But deep in her eyes, he saw innocence. He saw fragility which she attempted to hide from everyone because she did not want to look feeble and to get hurt. But she could not hide it from him and he wanted to be the one to protect her, to be her strength, even if she would not allow it.
“What are you staring at, deer-boy? You have to leave now, you don’t need to be guilty anymore.” She coldly told him.
“I think I’m falling for you, Seohyun.” Luhan bravely said, ignoring her command.
Seohyun was about to spit out some nasty remark but it got caught at the tip of her tongue. She could not bring herself to say it, so she simply gave him the biggest disapproving frown she could muster.
“I know I said I loved you like a sister before and I really liked Chorong, but something changed.” He explained himself, unshaken by her killer glare.
He was the first entity who showed no sign of fear or doubt when she flashed her most dreadful frown, especially considering how soft he looked for a man. His gentle face was surprisingly brave.
“At first, when I learned about Myungsoo’s plan of breaking your heart, I thought what I felt was guilt. It was my responsibility as his best friend to correct his shortcomings, and it was my responsibility as the man who broke your heart to make sure you don’t experience a second.” Luhan was explaining. “But then―”
“I don’t wanna have this conversation.” Seohyun cut Luhan off, standing up.
She did not want to hear him say what she guessed he will. The last thing she needed was some naïve boy who thinks she was Yoona confessing misdirected feelings to her. The boy looked up at her with those innocent eyes, oblivious of the rejection she was giving him.
“Go home, Luhan. And stay away from me.” Seohyun looked down at him, stared straight into his eyes.
Pain flashed in those doe-eyes briefly and Seohyun noticed it. She was used to inflicting pain and insult to people, especially stupid ones she did not like. She was not the type to pretend to like someone; rather, she bluntly expressed her disapproval. But she felt a strange prick in her heart when she saw the pain in him, so she turned and walked away, not wanting to witness any more of it.
Before she could walk farther away, Luhan managed to come out of his trance and follow her, grabbing her wrist to make her face him when she was within reach.
“You’re wrong, Seohyun. You’re not as fierce and fearless as you think. You’re a coward.” He told her, injuring her pride; but he did not seem to be offensive. He ironically looked sincere and gentle.
“Let me go, Lu Han. I told you to stay away from me. Is that hard to understand?” Seohyun tried to wriggle her hand from his grip, feeling uneasy about his presence; but he held to her, not letting go.
“You’re afraid of my feelings for you. You don’t want me to confess because you feel the same. And what you feel now has nothing to do with what you felt for me before.” – Luhan
“What I feel now really has nothing to do with the feelings before…” Seohyun trailed off.
…because those feelings aren’t mine, Luhan. They’re Yoona’s. She wanted to add, but held herself.
“Those feelings had long been dead.” She deadpanned, and it was the truth; Yoona told her so.
“I don’t understand why, but I am sure that what we both feel for each other at this moment is something new. This is a new chapter, Seohyun, and we must flip to the next page. Otherwise, we won’t find the happy ending.” Luhan’s tight grip on her wrist loosened and he was holding her gently, giving little on her skin beneath his thumb.
Seohyun felt strange electricity from his touch, no matter how tiny they were. Her normal instincts told her to run away, but she could not move. She was frozen from his touch!
“We will have our happy ending… separately.” She whispered. “Whatever feelings I have for you now, they’re not affection. All I want is to get away from you. So please, leave.”
She wanted to sound firm, with conviction, but she did not have the strength to get mad at him; and it was odd, because getting mad was something she was very good at.
“Look into my eyes and convince me that you hate me. Then, I will let you go.” He challenged her, his voice equally soft, but firm.
“I hate you.” Seohyun flatly said, her face showing zero emotion.
She was telling the truth. Hate was even an understatement. She loathed him, despised him. She wanted to punch him in the face, kick him in the balls, pull all his hair strands off, because she was so frustrated. She hated him for stirring mysterious emotions inside her – in her mind, in her heart, and in every cell in her body. No one, not even her first attraction, Myungsoo, made her feel that way. Luhan left her confused and stupid, not knowing what she really felt and forgetting her real self.
Luhan was smart and he knew how she felt. He felt the same, actually. He was confused but it felt right to be with her. He did not know why he chose Chorong over her before, but it felt totally different at that moment. Seohyun felt different to him and his feelings were something new. He did not know what to say or what to do, and she just stood there, staring up at him with so much frustration. So he decided to gently pull her to him, both arms hugging her small waist. She was surprised by his action and she unconsciously rested her hands on his chest to avoid getting nearer him. He leaned down and planted a soft, lingering kiss on the crown of her head. She could only stare at his neck as he kissed her and she could see the pulse on top of his collar bone beating rapidly.
This moment felt so different from the urges she shared with Myungsoo. The latter had attempted to show her his affection twice, and each time, they almost shared a kiss; but those times had not been as sincere as Luhan’s kiss.
When he finally pulled away, he looked into her eyes again and said in his most gentle voice, “I’m in love with you, Seohyun Nixon. Let me protect you.”
In love with me? Already? She asked herself, and she also wanted to ask him why. How? She never needed protecting before. She was always better alone. But how come she did not protest when Luhan promised to protect her? Why was she happy to know that now, someone will be there with her, and that was him? She wanted to ask all these but she knew there was only one action appropriate.
Seohyun moved her small hands that were resting on his chest upwards to his shoulders and locked her fingers behind his nape. She tiptoed a little as she tilted her head up to meet his lips with hers. And then she closed her eyes as she let him hold her tighter and kiss her deeply.

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“I kissed Luhan.” Seohyun bluntly told Yoona.
Yoona could only stare at her friend, unable to react. She had come running to their room, wanting to tell Seohyun about Kris’s confession, but she found her friend pacing at the back of the room, waiting for her to arrive. And before Yoona could open to say something, Seohyun had moved so swiftly that she was in front of her and blurting out those words.
“Yoona, you have to help me. I don’t know how this happened! Is it because the people’s memories of us are interchanged that even are feelings are interchanging?!” Seohyun frantically asked her, grabbing both her shoulders.
“Uh uh, that’s not it.” Yoona raised her pointing finger right in front of Seohyun’s nose and wiggled it from left to right.
Seohyun stared at Yoona’s fingers with knitted brows and followed its movement, making her dizzy. She finally let the other girl’s shoulders go and slapped her hand down.
“You’re making me dizzy. Stop it.” She complained with a deep frown and began to walk toward the direction of the door.
Yoona flung her bag to her chair and followe