"Hei, good morning"

"Good morning ms.Jung"

I just parked my newly bought vespa, yes a scooter, and about to walk to the entrance of the office building when i hear Jessica greets me. I smile and bow at her and let her walk pass me. I stand there and wait for a few seconds before i walk myself in after making sure that Jessica already making a quite gap between our arrival. Im walking few good metres behind her and scrolling through my phone when she suddenly decided to turns on her heel to my direction.

"Oh and ms.Kim?"

It startled me, her sudden stops and turns. I quickly make my stop but only few steps away from her. Almost in an awkward distance, almost, fortunately. I fidgeting under her warm gaze and manage to make a sneaky steps back to meet the comfortable distance.

"Yes, ms.Jung?"

She smiles at me as she is fixing her bag on her arm. Of course looking effortlessly gorjess, she doesnt even need to try.

"Can you i see you in my office? There is something i need to ask about the filming"

I groggily put my phone back into my pocket. Flickering my eyes to random objects just so that i dont have to look into her eyes for too long.

"Uh..yea sure, of course"

I nervously swallow my dry mouth, feeling really awkward around her. She smiles at my answer and turns around and making her way to her office. I follow Jessica to her office, quietly.

The filming, yes, i just get back from Dublin, Ireland for Tiffany's music video filming. I was there for a week. And about the scooter of mine, my baby, i got it few days before im off to Dublin. My Dublin trip was actually my first trip abroad since i came here for school. I not even have gotten a chance to fly back home just to say hai to my mum and dad. I could really use some trip just to breath new air, clear my head up. Which is why im very thankful that the boards decided that Dublin was the perfect place for the filming.

We finally arrived at Jessica's office. As she unlocking the door, i can only stand there and admire how stunning she is and i just see her back profile. I feel a thin smile forming on my lips. In a normal circumstances i will surely hug her by now, showering her with kisses and gain her cute chuckles or even a light slaps. I snaps back as she finally open the door and walk herself in, i follow her in and close the door behind me.

"Have a seat"

I smile at her, slightly nod my head and sit myself down and lean back to the chair in front of her desk, putting down my bright red backpack by the side of the chair, maintaining my straight up posture, as she hangs her coat before sits herself down. So much for being awkward and formal. I guess formal is awkward then.

Im clasping my hands together and put them on my thigh, waiting, wondering what Jessica could possibly asks about the filming. Cant shake the nervousness away though. I mean she is here, we are here in her office, and i havent seen her in a quite while now. Hell yes i miss her, i miss her damn much. I wish i could just hug her and breath in her sweet scent and melt in her arms.

"How was Dublin?"

She asks in her usual cheerful tone. She is clasping her hands on the desk, leaning forward to shows her enthusiasm.

"Dublin was amazing and the filming was fun. We had an amazing time and we surely got an amazing shot"

"Im sure you guys did amazing job"

She nods her head and drags her chair even closer to her desk. Still having that thin smile on her cute tiny face.

"Thank you ms.Jung"

I smile at her then look down at my clasped hands, twirling my ring on my forefinger. I hardly surpress my urge to run to her and squeeze her in my arms.

"Sam?"

"Yes ms.Jung?"

How i miss her calling me by our ordinary pet name. I cant help but trying to remember how a simple word "babe" slips from her lips lovingly when she simply calls me yet it can make me warm inside, make me feel loved. Am i being pathetic??

"How was the meeting yesterday?"

So yesterday we are on a meeting after our filming in Dublin. We still need to do more filming to finish it up. All the boards and staffs were gathered for the meeting to discuss our next agenda. Including our team, Amber and Donghae. I should've known that she might be curious about my meeting with Amber.

"Uhh..was good. We got our next agenda fixed and..."

"I meant you and Amber"

I start to move uncomfortably in my seat. Dublin was a good distraction but i know once im back, i have to face the reality. Messed up one.

"We are uhh..professionals, so dont worry ms.Jung we wont let our personal matter get in the middle"

"Did you guys talk?"

Concern is clear in her tone. I am more than happy to know that she is still pretty much care about me. I would do anything to being able to call her mine again. I would do anything, but as for now, anything is really really really complicated. I am so used to her helping me, guiding me through my difficult time. So it is fair for me to say that right now, when she is damn tired with my , i am so lost, i literally dont know what to do about our awkward relationships.

"Of course. We were discus..."

"Sam you know what i meant"

I cant help but dart away from Jessica's intense look. This subject is pretty much what i want to avoid, at least for now. I mean i have no idea how to make things right. Yet. I am literally caught up in the middle of...i dont know...holy trinity?? I mean this three people are the most important persons in my life right now. But now i cant seem to do something without hurting any one of them. Well i ended up hurting Jessica for the starter, i dont know. s happen, i know. But this is too much. And i am ing greedy. There is no way that i want to lose any of them.

"No-not yesterday. I came home few days before i leave to Dublin and we talked a bit"

"Are you guys okay?"

She showers me with her concern look. Which makes me even more uncomfortable yet actually love it, missed it.

"I uhh...umm oh and ms.Jung, i have to leave early today, i have classes to catch up since i was missing out the whole week so..."

Jessica sighing and closes her eyes, pushes herself to the back of the chair. I dont want to burden her with whatever it is that i talked with Amber. I want to give her what she deserves, less drama. I want to give her her room, her freedom without have to think about my problem, my mess, at least until i can figure this out. Fast. It is killing me to be away from you, Jess.

"...i hope thats okay"

She is nodding her head, while her hands covering her face. I take that as my cue, so I stand on my feet and bow before i bitterly left her office.

Im working on some papers on my desk, trying to get done some of them before i have to leave for class. Ohh how i wish my Dublin trip would last for quite some times. Preparing for a debut is not an easy task. I have to keep myself as professional as possible as i will have a lot, so much more of agenda with Amber, since Tiffany's debut is our project. I put my hands behind my head, leaning back to the chair, closing my eyes cant help but think back at my early days here. Im loving every second of it. Its not that i dont love it now, well its just a bit complicated.

"Hei there"

I spin my chair around to see Tiffany standing there with her eye smile on.

"Yow ssup Tiff"

I put my hand up for a high five, which she welcomed excitedly.

"Im sooo excited to see how it turns out"

"Yeah? Cant wait to finally debuting?"

"Of course! Anyway, lunch?"

I jolted in my seat, i dont realize that its lunch time already. Tiffany doesnt seem to noticed though. I glance at my watch on my wrist, well i still have time for lunch. So as i dont really have an excuse to decline, i decided to go with Tiffany. I feel that i have to stay away from her too, i mean i dont know maybe because she is the one who 'leak' that messed up thing?? Well yea she wont have something to share if we didnt do it on the first place. And i work with her so yea it is impossible to stay away. I kinda want her to apologize though. Some times ago Victoria had apologized on her behalf, but still it is not right. I dont even know whether she really needs to apologize or not. I didnt intend it to occur and also i didnt intend to hide it from Jessica and Amber. I didnt intend to tell them because i dont see the need to do so. It was just some stupid thing. Or maybe i was afraid for them to know??? Because i knew that it was a mistake?? But refuse to admit it?? But believed in the little white lies theory that Krystal said??? Which is sounded stupid if i think back to it. And Tiffany was actually helping and giving me chance to make up from my mistake??? Our mistake??? I dont even know. See i dont even know what to think, call me stupid but this is damn complicated for my simple brain and me to deal with. I know that Tiffany doesnt have any idea on what is exactly going on between the four of us after her little story, so her not-feeling-guilty-at-all attitude is acceptable and so does her non excist apology. Well i dont need her to know about what happens between the four of us, especially Jessica is her freaking y CEO and me and Amber are on her team. Excuse my Jessica's touch crave, will ya??

"Uhh yea sure"

We get ourselves a table beside the window. She insisted to get our food. So after i told Tiffany what i'd get she then walks to the counter to get our food. I see Amber walks into the cafetaria with some of her coworkers. I dont think she sees me, which is a good thing, at least for now. I throw my attention to look outside the window. Looking at random objects outside. It hurts to look at us right now. We used to be real close to one another but stupid me had to ruin everything. Tiffany is being her usual talkactive self, i feel bad for not being a good listener at the moment. Im still trying to get a hold of myself after everything. I mean i still dont quite get it as to why do i get all the blame?? It was me and Krystal, wasnt it?? She initiated it first, and yes i did let her and respond back. But Amber and Krystal, Jessica and Krystal, they are seems okay with each other. But me?? I have an awkward, cold and distance relationship with them, especially with Amber. Well then again, I dont need myself to be drowned and losing myself and everything that i have up until now. I was okay when i was in Dublin. I felt that i had my usual self back. I dont know, it takes time, i just have to wait...and do something to make it right.

After we finished our lunch and long one-sided conversation, sorry Tiff, Tiffany insisted to drive me to school. She didnt believe me when i told her that i got myself a scooter. Once she saw my scooter, she wanted to take it for a spin but i had tell her over and over that i'd be late for my class, i promised her next time. Eventhough she agreed, but yea it was quite a long whinning i got there. She is a good person, she can make a good friend too. The only thing that makes her bad is only her being so clueless.

As i arrived at school, I parked my scooter and admiring it for a bit before i run to my class. So much for admiring the damn scooter.

My professors give me extra assignments to make up my absence after a short session i have after classes. Students life is tough. Hanging out with my friends now wouldnt help myself to finish my assigments although it could help me escape the mess. But no, the assignments is way more important right now. I dismissed myself gaining their complaints, i want to hang out with you guys, but i have a bunch to work on. I speed walking to where i park my baby, constantly reminding myself not to be all gloomy. Gloomy over the mess i made, no me and Kr...whatever or this whole a$$ assignments. Forcing a smile could be a good start in attempt to cheer up yourself, i dont know, maybe. I give it a try anyway.

"Sam"

I glance over my shoulder, not stopping my steps. Seeing this face usually can cheer me up.

"Hei"

"You got yourself a scooter?"

She points my scooter as i make a stop there where i parked it.

"Yup, my baby right here"

I proudly tap on my scooter, smiling. But she is just not at it.

"....You ignored my texts"

Yeah . She is obviously not here to cheer me up or complimenting my scooter.

"Sorry"

"Why?"

"I just...i dont know"

I sigh and turn around to hopped on my scooter and leave. I am just not up for this. My day is tense enough.

"Sam yo..."

"No Krys stop! This whole thing is so ed up!!"

I snapped. I shouldnt, i know, but i did. She doesnt seem to frightened by it though. I mean yea she does way more better in frightening people.

"What do y..."

"Dont push it, Krys! I-i-i dont even know what to feel  about this anymore"

"..."

"Amber hates me, Jessica is obviously doubting me, and why the hell are you keep being around me?!??"

"..."

"Krys, im losing her, im losing Amber and im pretty much ready of losing you"

"..."

"Cus staying with you is just gonna make them hates me even more. I cant afford to lose you guys. But it doesnt seem that i can hold on to you guys either. I dont know"

I drop my shouts there. The thought of losing them all is not something i want to linger on. Why does it have to be this complicated?? Did i tell you that im yet to have a grasp on this fully?? Look at Krystal now, she is here, talking like there is nothing wrong, she asked me why i didnt return her texts. Seriously?? The fact that i cant think of any better way than to stay away from Krystal to at least ease the tention and yet here is Krystal. It is just frustrating.

"So what i feel just doesnt matter to you?"

My shoulder slump and i look down on the ground as i hear what she says. I take a few steps toward her, placing my hands on her both shoulder, looking right into her eyes. See? None of what i do that is not hurting any one of them. Instead of losing them, i most likely to lose my mind.

"Of course it does matter. But princess, we're talking about your girlfriend, which is my bestfriend, and your sister, which is my girlfriend here, i mean i dont know about me and Jessica now, but you get the point"

"And how is that make any different?"

Really?? She calmly says flickering her look to my both eyes. Is she crazy or am i crazy?? Have she been noticed about what is going on?? But i couldnt let my anger take over. I take a deep breath to calm my nerves down before i answer her.

"Well both of them think that i like yo..."

"Dont you?"

She cuts me, giving me her stern look. Isnt it quite obvious princess??

"Of course i do, i like you as my litt..."

"So thats it? Lil sis?"

She cuts me again, slapping one of my hands from her shoulder as she steps closer. Her tone is calm, i cant catch any emotion other than her seriousness and her stern gaze never leaves, which is quite terrifying. Do i even have to tell you that?

"Yea of..."

"What if i dont like you like that?"

She keeps moving closer so that i take steps back to prevent us being too close. I tried my hardest to make less skinship with this little princess, for the sake of our relationships, eventhough she is a cute little fluffy ball that is you can hardly resist to pinch on. She is scary, yes, scarily fluffy too.

"Wha.."

"What if i love you, Sam?"

My eyes widen and stop in my track, but Krystal keeps on moving forward. I place my hands on her shoulder to make her stop, but she doesnt, as our body close enough, she hugs me instead of backs away, encycling her arms on my waist. She hides her head on the crook of my neck. I dont know what to say nor to do. My hands are hanging midair, not sure whether to hug her back or not.

"What if i love you??hmm??"

She repeats herself, her voice slightly shaky. I look down to her and see tears threatening to fall on the corner of her eyes. I cant help to envelop her in my hug, my cheek againts her forehead, rubbing her back gently.

"I always do..."

Now i can hear her soft sobs, if my ears are not betraying me right now.

"...since the beginning"

Well now that is a bommer. I break the hug and hold her shoulders, bend myself a bit to meet her eye level.

"What are you saying Krys?"

Hellooo :D

Sorry for not be able to update regularly, life come up :D

Thank you for staying with me in this story, and thank you for the upvote and subscribe, i really do appreciate it, a lot. I hope you enjoy the update. Have a good day!! x