I followed him when he got out of the venue. It's not that I deeply care about him, it's just because I don't have a ride back to my hotel! Okay, I feel so heartless, but that's it for me. It's not like I'm really dating Seunghyun or anything. I stood by his side, but when he turned to me, he quickly took my arm and kissed me violently.

 

"Seunghyun-" I avoided his kisses, but he's not gonna stop! "Stop it!"

 

I felt violated, so I started crying. I kept my mouth close as he tried to pry my mouth open. I kept on avoiding my head. He only stopped when he got tired of chasing my head. I was still crying, and he quickly gave me a very tight hug. I bawled in his arms, and I swear, I wish Kris was with me. I wish I'm not alone here. But I know Seunghyun. He won't force someone to have with him.

 

"I'm sorry for doing it." He said and let go of me. "Come, I'll take you to your hotel."

 

I just nodded and went to his car first. I calmed myself down. I'll let this burst when I'm in my hotel room. He kept on offering to buy me coffee or anything that would probably ease his conscience, but I kept on refusing. It's not that I hate him, though. I still think of him as my friend, but I'm just tired right now. I can't even think straight.

 

I went out of his car without looking back. Before I could even go in, Seunghyun caught my arm and I stopped. I sighed, hoping he'd just stop. I think he got the idea because he loosened his grip. I turned around to face him and gave him a smile. I hope he'll just stop bugging me after this.

 

"I'm okay. Thanks." I said and finally went inside the hotel.

 

When I got into my room, I quickly lied down my bed. I just felt my tears fall down. What happened to me earlier was unacceptable, but I chose to just it in. After allowing myself to be used as a rebound, a bed warmer, what right do I have to complain? Why did I accept this, anyway? How did I come to this point?

 

I felt my phone vibrate, and without looking at the screen, I answered the call. "Hello?"

"Jessica... I need you." I heard Kris' voice on the line. "Please come back."

"Kris... I need to be here." I said and sighed.

"O-okay..." He said and I could hear him sniff. "Where are you?"

"I'm in New York." I said, and I could hear his heavy breathing.

"Okay." He said and ended the call.

 

And just like the usual, he'll be cold again. He'll be chasing Victoria again, because nobody will be there to stop him.  I don't want him to do anything, though. Victoria is happier with my brother, and I don't want Kris to make a move just because he can't move on.  It's one of the reasons why I allowed myself to become his replacement. 

 

My phone buzzed, and I saw Yuri's message. Well, at least my best friend remembers me! Yoona and Jiyong have been ignoring me. Though I know it's not intentional. I know they're busy, and I'm busy, too. Now I miss them!

 

Yuri: Hey ! Heard you're in NY?

Me: Yeah. You're here?

Yuri: Uh-huh. Where are you? I'm gonna get you. Let's go out tonight.

Me: I wanted to sleep, though.

Yuri: Listen, woman. Let's meet up now or you'll never see Yoona again. We're all here because I won't be there for their wedding.

Me: Where are we going? I'll just get changed.

Yuri: I know where you are. OMWRN.

 

I am so excited! This will be the first time I'll see Yoona after Young-bae and I broke up! Well, Jiyong is Young-bae's best friend, after all. And I respect that, so I chose to avoid them instead of making everyone feel uncomfortable with my presence. But now, I want to spend some time with my bestie! It was always me, Yuri and Yoona. And Young-bae and I met because of Jiyong.

 

I was about to wear my white shirt when I heard a knock on my door. I quickly wore it and went to the door. I thought Yuri will be the only one coming over, but I was surprised to see Yoona's smiling face. She quickly came to hug me tightly, and I did the same. God, I missed this crazy woman! Jiyong and Yuri came inside and made themselves comfortable.

 

"You're alone? Amazing!" Yuri said and lied on my bed. "I was expecting Kris to be here."

"Uh, no..." I said, hoping she'd change the topic. "Anyway, how are you my main ?" I smacked her legs.

"Easy! Don't touch me just anywhere! I'm a certified NBSB!" She bragged, and I wondered what that meant.

"NBSB?" I asked, and she nodded. "No since break-up?" I saw their eyes widen and she yanked my hair. "Hey!"

"When did you become so dirty?" She said and slapped my lips. "You changed!" She said and dramatically lied on my bed again.

"Jessica..." Yoona sat beside me, and we gave each other meaningful stares. "Are you-"

"Yes!" I said, and we both tackled Yuri with tickles.

 

Yuri violently pushed us, but it's two against one! No matter how strong you are, Kwon Yuri, this will always be your weakness! Yoona and I laughed as Yuri cussed and begged us to stop. We did, and we had a group hug. It feels like my energy that was lost got restored, thanks to these two!

 

"Anyway..." Jiyong said, and Yoona stared at him. "Jessica," He handed me a yellow envelope. It's an invitation. "We're really hoping you could come."

"When is it?" I glanced at him.

"Next month."

"I... can't." I said, and Yoona looked down. I held her hand. "I'm sorry."

"No, I understand." She said and smiled. "Anyway, aren't we supposed to have fun?"

"Dinner's on Yuri. Let's go!" I said and pulled Yuri up.

"On me? Are you serious!? The married couple should be paying!"

"Okay fine! Dinner's on me!" I said and like before, Yoona looked the happiest when it's free food.

 

We arrived at the restaurant that the three of us really love. We really love the steak here because it's huge and delicious. Yoona ordered for us, and I'm thankful that she did because I am really hungry right now, and she's ordered a lot of food for the four of us. They were talking loudly, but suddenly fell silent. Yuri was the only one talking, and Jiyong stood up. I followed him with my stare, only to see Young-bae in the same restaurant.

 

"Jessica?" He called, and I smiled at him. "Hi!" He went to my side and brushed his cheek against mine. "It's been 4, 5 years since we last saw each other?"

"Yeah." I said, and surprisingly, I don't feel any tension between us. "How are you?"

"I'm good." He said and motioned the chair near Jiyong. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"No, not at all!" I said, and he sat beside me and Jiyong. 

"Why didn't you tell me you're coming? And you're here in New York?" Yoona said, and Young-bae just smiled at her.

"I didn't know you guys were here!" He said and glanced at me. "Are you going to their wedding?"

"No... I have something important coming up next month." I said, and he just made an "o" with his mouth. "But who knows? Maybe I'll show up to their honeymoon?"

"NO!" Jiyong and Yoona both yelled in unison, causing almost everyone in the restaurant to stare at us.

"Relax, you two!" I said and winked at Yoona. "I won't peak."

 

Our food arrived, and the only food Young-bae was able to eat was the steak and pasta. He's allergic to chicken, so I feel bad for him. We all had wine, and when Yuri got a little tipsy, I knew we needed to stop. Unlike before, she can still manage to converse even though she's drunk. Usually, she'd bawl and talk about how ty her life is because her family is dependent on the Choi Family.

 

"I'll take them home." Young-bae offered, and I didn't even refuse. I only know that I have to bring Yuri to wherever she's staying right now. When she said she's staying at Minho's unit, I instructed Young-bae where to turn. When we arrived, she thanked us, but not before saying something astounding.

 

"I can't believe you two broke up! You still look better together! Better than you and Kris, Jes!" She laughed and turned around. She glanced at us once more. "Goodnight you two!" And blew kisses.

 

I just laughed at how crazy she is. But, that just made it awkward, at least for me. This is something I became depressed about, but I chose not to cry. Crying is a sign of weakness, and I did that because we needed to grow apart from each other. He needed someone else, and I needed to focus on my goals.

 

When we arrived at the parking lot, I thanked him. I didn't want to leave yet, and we're both really silent. I wanted to leave, but it feels like I'm glued to this seat. I kind of missed him, though. He's one heck of a boyfriend. A dynamic one, to be exact.

 

"So, are we not gonna talk about how we drifted apart?" He broke the silence between us, and I looked at him.

"Well, you needed someone who could take care of you." I said, and he looked at me. "And I was chasing after my dream."

"Yeah..." He said. And as if on cue, our lips touched, like it was meant to happen. This isn't the kiss I wanted. I quickly pulled away, and he did the same. We both looked down. "I'm sorry."

"No, I started it. I'm sorry." He said, and I nodded. I don't even wanna argue anymore.

"I'll go ahead." I said and went out of his car.

 

Even if I wash up, I still feel filthy. I kissed my ex's best friend, I kissed my ex, but I was longing for his kisses. I am so disgusted with myself. I held back the tears, hoping I'd make it to my room without a tear falling down. I'm not even feeling anything.

 

I went inside my room, only to be surprised with the balloons of pink and purple floating, rose petals and a bouquet on my bed. Kris came to hug me from behind, kissing my neck. I was so surprised to see him here! What's he doing here? Isn't he in Korea?

 

"I'm sorry for being a jerk." He said and kissed my hand. "I just got here."

"What are you doing here?" It came out like a whisper.

"I came here to be with you. Like how you stayed with me when I needed someone." He said and hugged me. "I'm sorry. I'm never gonna let you go again."

 

And he kissed my lips. I should be feeling disgusted that 3 guys kissed me today, but he is worth it. Kris will always be.