I met up with Kris and surprisingly, he looked better. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. I think I know where this is going. I hope I'm wrong, but I am anticipating the outcome. I kissed his lips, and he smiled widely at me. Something really is wrong.

 

"Jessica..." His breathing is heavy. "I need to tell you something..."

"Can you let me speak first?" I said, and he fell silent. Good. "You see, I have been thinking... and sorry if I was indecisive and impulsive. But the truth is," I said and looked away, before looking back at him. "I don't want a relationship with a man who has not let go of his past. I'm sorry, Kris. I thought I could help you, but I can't. I'm really selfish, and I want you for myself."

"Jessica..." He said and held my hand. "You're not serious, right!?"

"But I am."I said and yanked his hand away from mine. "I'm sorry Kris."

"I wanted to tell you something, but it seems like you already made up your mind, so let's just..." He grabbed his hair in frustration, and I immediately regretted not letting him speak first. "I'll just go. Take care, Jessica." He said and left me there with tears already falling from my eyes.

 

What have I done? I let go of him without hearing what he really had to say! I got out of the coffee shop and went inside my car. I broke if off with him because my pride couldn't accept it if he broke up with me! And now, I'm wondering what he has to say!

 

*

 

I opened my eyes, and saw my brother's eyes swollen, looking angry at me. I smiled at him, and he just sighed. He came closer to give me a hug. Edison was being careful not to hurt me. I know what happened. I was supposed to be here because I want my best friends to be happy, and I am also hoping he hasn't told anyone about this yet.

 

"Stupid head!" he said and let go of the hug. "I was so worried about you! What happened!?"

I looked away from him. I can't blame Kris. This was my fault. "It's nothing. I was just tired when I drove."

"Is this about Kris?" He said, and I just looked down.

"N-no..." I said and looked up to stare at my brother. "No."

"Then what happened?"

"I broke up with him." I said, and I couldn't hold my tears anymore. "I made a mistake, Edison."

"Why did you do that?" He asked as he wiped the tears from my face. "You love him."

"I do... But I thought he wanted to break up with me!" I said and cried even harder.

 

All my brother did was hug me until I calmed down. I couldn't even tell him how angry I am at myself for secretly hating Victoria. I am so jealous of her! I've never heard her about anything, and here I am, craving for the smallest attention Kris could give. I am so damn jealous that the one I love and my brother both love her. And I am so jealous because I never even knew her. I just know she's Kris' ex.

 

I saw my brother bring the food I wanted to eat the most-- lasagna. I smiled at him, and I also saw Alice come in. Edison just scowled and went back to his phone. I just rolled my eyes and let Alice hug me. She held my hand and gave me a worried look.

 

"Are you okay?" Alice asked, and I nodded. "Why didn't you tell us you came back? Or at least bring a driver with you?"

"I met up with someone. I just dozed off while driving." I said and smiled at her. "I'm sorry."

"No worries. Your dad, though, is extremely worried about you. He'll be here in a minute."

"Jes, I'll leave." I heard Edison say, and he walked towards me and kissed my forehead. "I'll come back when there's no one here."

 

I wanted him to stop, and just stay. But he already left. I want dad to at least see him because I know, if he is given the chance not to go home, then he won't. Alice is nice, but sometimes, I wish she won't tease Edison like that. I know that it's her way of coping with the stress, but my brother hates her already. I hope she didn't push him too far. 

 

And it's as if on cue, dad came in. I smiled at him, and he rushed to my side. He hugged me and showered my face with kisses. I am so glad that dad is here. I really miss him. I smiled at him and he let go of me.

 

"Are you okay? What happened!?"

"I wanted to roam around, so I drove without resting first." I said.

Fortunately, my dad just nodded. "Be really careful next time, okay? Did Edison come here?"

"Yes. He was with me."

"Good." My dad said and looked at Alice. Does he want something?

"What is it, dad?" I asked, and I caught the small hint of fear in his eyes. "Is Alice pregnant!?"

"You know it's not like that..." My dad said, and I just laughed with him. Alice stayed quiet, but I know something's up with these two.

"So, what is it?"

"I'd like to invite Edison's girlfriend and your boyfriend for dinner." Does he know?

"W-what for?" I couldn't help but stutter, but I hope dad doesn't notice it.

"Well, I have some things to say to them. You know, fathers need to do it."

"Things like?"

"You don't have to know." He said and chuckled. "Well, call your boyfriend, and please tell your brother to bring his girlfriend to dinner, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. But when will that be?"

"I don't know yet. Just when everyone is available." My dad is really pushing this.

"Okay. I'll ask Kris." I said, and he nodded.

 

And after a few hours of chit-chatting, my dad and Alice needed to go home so they could rest. They had someone watch over me, but... I don't know. For some reason, I don't want anyone to watch over me. So I had that person go home. I told him I'll just call my brother, and after a few minutes of arguing, he finally agreed.

 

But even then, I never called Edison, or anyone. I just want to feel alone. Fortunately, Edison brought some of my favorite food. Even though I had a tough time, I managed to get the churros on the table and dipped it in chocolate. I also the TV, and I just went directly to a channel where it shows cartoons. I don't feel so lonely anymore.

 

But I know this is just temporary. One way or another, I'll miss him. I'll miss kissing him, making love with him, seeing him smile, just eating with him. And now that I think about it, everything about us was so rushed. Like I was in a hurry for him to love me back because I am too in love with him. Now, I want to take this slowly, and surely. And if we don't end up together, it might be sad, but I guess I'll have to move on with my life.