Chapter 48. Calm

“Would you be willing to be Mrs. Yonghwa Jung?”

She bit her tongue—no she swallowed her tongue. “Op…”

Her heart gave up. Drowned. Disappeared. Dissolved.

And…

Joohyun wanted it all back.

She barely had time to process what just happened despite the fact that she knew it all along—right from the appearance of that ring in front of her. It fitted her perfectly and she couldn’t tell why it had to look really good on her hand. The easy swirl of its simple design is not too boasting. The kind she would really prefer or buy for herself.

Joohyun wanted to say yes—no, she wanted to shout YES. The image of him waking up beside her every morning, Euna crawling up to bed with them, learning to cook for three, baking the best cookies for Euna, perfecting the art of tying, seeing him off to work for the day, having their usual conversations over dinner, putting Euna to bed, and finally making love to him at night—her happily ever after. Her happily ever after that included Euna and Yonghwa.

That was the future she wanted to see, but those images were blurry.

The smile, the hope— they were written all over his face when he launched that question at her, hoping and praying—mesmerized by her simple elegance and her laughing eyes. But it slowly slipped into something different when she slid her hand mildly away from his. And it wasn’t enough, Joohyun took a step back as her hands met and every moment played in a slow motion. Her eyes on his but he could clearly see how she slowly took off the ring.

“Joohyun…” he whispered as if stopping her but it was too late.

His worried tone chilled her but she could only look into his eyes when she slowly took his hand on hers again and held it like a breakable item. Yonghwa managed to engulf her hands into his own. She gripped the ring on her palm and felt his frozen touch until he let go of her hand and lifted her chin to brave her eyes on his.

“I am not saying no…” she finally said amidst the battle inside her mind.

“I’m sorry, I…” Yonghwa staggered, “This... this may come too fast. I am not forcing you—if… if you’re not ready… just think about it first.”

He was babbling like an idiot. It might have been too fast—too soon. He was willing to give her all the time she needed. Besides, marriage is something so serious and he has been to one so he should know better. ‘Don’t jump too high again, Yonghwa,’ his mind suggested.

“Yes, I will…” Joohyun smiled sadly as she took his hands again and gently placed the ring on his palm but Yonghwa tried to withdrew, “Oppa, no— I can’t take this without giving you a definite answer.”

“Just take it—keep it, then come back to me when you have decided,” he sounded panicky but he could just care less.

“Oppa, please…” Joohyun begged willing for tears not to fall, “It won’t help if it’s with me.”

“I can’t change your mind, right?” Yonghwa hesitated but accepted the ring. The process of putting it back in the box was painful that he has to do it fast to avoid that hurt of seeing it back where it shouldn’t belong anymore. He sighed before finally putting it inside his pocket.

“I will wear that ring at the right time,” stupid tears started to fall while watching the whole scene so she hastily brushed them away. Joohyun felt her blood rose with guilt as she watched him with remorse. She couldn’t even say how sorry she was.

“You said you’re going to tell me something.” Yonghwa pulled himself together and tried so hard to sound as if nothing happened.

Her mind suddenly went blank, then the devil inside her declared, ‘yeah, she’s breaking up with you, dummy!’ but she kicked it hard and threw it back at the darkest corner of her mind. The angel took over and made her tiptoe and cup his face on her palms then claimed his lips gently, softly, sweetly.

Yonghwa swept her just a few inches off the ground and held her still by her waist. Another kiss—another lingering kiss managed to communicate both fears, chased away the shadows and sealed the drawer to their screaming hearts. He slowly brought her back on her feet and held her gaze, “What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

She thought her kiss was enough to make him forget that but she was wrong so she gently laid both her palms on his chest and tiptoed again for yet another feathery kiss, “How can I remember when you just proposed to me?”

“That you declined,” he said sadly while his thumb brushed on her lower lip.

“I did not decline,” Joohyun managed a small smile as she closed her eyes for a moment just feeling his touch, “It’s not a no and neither a yes…”

“So I’m hanging by a thread…” he eyed her with mischief trying to lighten the mood. Thankfully, her tears subsided and he needed to maintain that so he kidded, “Or a web?”

“Can’t be a web or else you’ll be dead. The spider’s going to eat you up,” a warm smile flashed as she stood on her toes and caught his lower lip between hers and bit it softly then purred when his arms wrapped on her body, “Munch you hard then swallow the living daylights out of you…”

Yonghwa groaned, after all, his feisty Joohyun was back in his arms like she never left. He dipped his head again and kissed her hard until they were both breathless. Yonghwa whispered as his eyes danced on her swollen lips, “Should we go somewhere, Ms. Spider? So you can plan your murder well…”

She still hadn’t recovered her stance but she was able to give off a soft laugh, “And celebrate our not-yet-but-almost-engaged status?