Chapter 47. Anticipation

“You have to promise me…”

Finally, she turned to him with that bittersweet smile. Yonghwa nodded even if he didn’t want to.

“Say it….”

Yonghwa felt his brother standing from where he was. He found himself nodding again and, with a small voice, he replied, “I promise…”

“I will keep my promise…” Yonghwa whispered to the wind, the small box in his pocket burned him.

The wind blew colder. He closed his eyes and see her smiling at him.

Ha In.

Yonghwa took another deep sigh. Whenever he comes here, all the memories seemed to flood in his mind and he couldn’t stop them— or he didn’t even try. He slumped on the grass and raked his fingers through his hair. The promise was only made halfheartedly and he only did so just to shut her up and make her rest. Yonghwa saw the pain she went through just to have his baby.

A few hours after that conversation she wanted to sleep. She wanted so much to sleep that she didn’t bother to wake up.

“Wake up, please wake up! Don’t do this to me! You just can’t do this to me!”

“You’re supposed to be just a paralytic,” he whispered to the wind, “But how come you’re not here?” Yonghwa raised himself but instead of standing, he sat on his heels pushing away some dirt that managed to rest on her name. “I will keep my promise. I’m going to marry her and give your baby a mother. I hope you are happy …”

He stood and walked over to his car clutching the box on his palm. Never in his life did he imagined of proposing to two women in this lifetime. He staged the first one fairly well. Should the second one be better than the first?

Another deep sigh escaped as he remembered how the first one went.

They met at the bookshop since she was looking for a book to submit in the University as part of their exit requirement. Ha In busily searched through the displays unaware that he talked to the people working there and concocted for the particular book to put on display. Her usual easy smile blossomed when she found her the one he prepared and started leafing through it.

Yonghwa was nervous more than ever while waiting for her to find the ring.

She stopped midway and looked at him blankly as she held on to that surprise in the middle of the book, “Yonghwa, there’s a free ring…”

He burst into laughter for he did not expect Ha In would get it right away and, right on cue, the pink balloons fell from the ceiling. She looked up in surprise until her gaze fell back on him realizing what was happening only to find him on his knees.

With the other costumers and the staff of the bookshop as their witness, Yonghwa was down on his knees and said his piece. Ha In clutched her stomach securely and nodded.

Three months later they were married.

Driving a little faster when he realized that he was running late, Yonghwa decided that he would be spontaneous for this one. There was no plan, no rehearsed lines, and no other surprise than that very question he would be asking.

Yonghwa managed to convince her to meet her for dinner that very night. He knew that she was with his daughter this very minute. The drumming in his chest intensified and he would feel the sweat on his palms as he gripped the steering wheel. She said there was something important too that she wanted to tell him. The sudden bile in his stomach appeared. The familiar ominous feeling came to him and panic followed. He didn’t want to lose her; after Ha In, it was Joohyun who made him feel this way.

He just couldn’t lose her.

The speed increased without even being conscious to it— like he wanted to go through with the day as soon as he could. He tapped the box inside his coat pocket and took a deep sigh when he was assured that he hadn’t lose it— the key to a new life for him and Euna.

The paranoia came in full force.

~~~

“Euna, someone’s here to pick you up…”

She looked up to Teacher Fany then to the clock. It was still very early and she thought her grandma was going to Ilsan again so she came to pick her up. She took her workbook and crayons and half-ran to their bag cabinet for her school bag. Once she was ready, her teacher fixed her hair and walked her out of their classroom.

Euna’s eyes widened in surprise then she couldn’t stop jumping as her umma walked closer to her, “Ummmmaaaaa!” Ooooppps! She smiled wider and hopped in her arms and embraced her tight, “You came back!!!”

“Of course, I came back!” Joohyun laughed after the little girl plunged herself to her. Oh, how she missed Euna so much! She gave the teacher a small bow and mouthed a thank-you then watched her leave. When they were left alone in the hallway, she set the little girl down on her feet and brushed her hand on her hair, “I miss you. Did you miss me?”

“So very much!” Euna spread her arms as wide as she could just to show her umma how much.

“I miss you just as much,” Joohyun smiled, “And probably even more.”

“Don’t go away like that again, okay?” Euna murmured when she dropped her head on her mommy’s chest again. “I was scared you were never coming back.”

Her heart ached once more, “Euna, I called you a lot, right?” Instead of answering, the little girl shook her head, rubbing on her chest on the process. Joohyun smiled, “I will always come back for you.”

“Uh-huh,” Euna nodded, “’Cause you pinky promised.”

She laughed, “I did, didn’t I?” Coaxing her head away, she pressed a small kiss on her baby’s forehead, “I bought loads of stuff for you.”

“I know you did.”

Euna’s smirk and the way her eyes twinkle made her laugh louder. Her baby was becoming more like her, “Let’s go then!”

~~~

Joohyun was beyond nervous— maybe she would be like this every time they would meet. She didn’t know if she was just being a girl but she could not really decide if she wanted to break up with him or what. One of the things she accomplished on her trip was the realization that she would no matter how long she prolong this thing between them. And now, she decided to break up with him but promised herself that it won’t be that dramatic.

She would just tell him she needed them to separate for the time being as she needed to focus on the gallery; which was actually a pretty dumb reason. Of course, she would promise that it was just a break th