B A E K H Y U N ?

Don't forget to eat. Take care always.

09:12 am

Good morning, don't skip meals. Okay?

07:06 am

Saw you today at the coffee shop. Looks like you're doing well. I'm glad.

16:49 pm

I miss you.

03:01 am

I can't stop thinking about you.

12:02 am

Saeron reread Baekhyun's messages about five months ago. It has been seven months ever since he left her. Ever since that day, she had never seen his face. Saeron rolled to the other side of his bed. Yes, she's inside his room. It has been a habit of hers. She will often visit his room, spending her night or afternoon inside, thinking about him. His other things remain inside her house. His room remains untouched. All things remain the same. She will only touch his things when she will clean his room but she never, ever, moved them. His scent was all gone now. She remembered how she first spent her night inside his room, hugging his pillow, hugging his blanket. His scent once lingers through his things. It comforts her. It made her feels calm. It once tickles her nostrils but it was all gone now. Her memory of him remains inside her head. She keeps all of it. She doesn't want to forget him. She loved him. Saeron smiles bitterly as her tears fall down.  

Saeron tried interrogating Kyungsoo about Baekhyun's whereabouts but he, too, doesn't have any idea where he is now. She heard he flew to America, with Yuki. The thoughts of it hurt her but Baekbeom spoken to her, telling her that Baekhyun brought Yuki to America to have experts check her condition, and that's all. Hyun woo is now comfortable around Saeron, comforting her when she is lonely. He filled the gap Baekhyun left. Saeron is now trying to move on. She told Baekbeom that she and Baekhyun were already over. Baekbeom tried to explain Baekhyun's side but Saeron refused to believe him. She trust Baekbeom but she can no longer trust Baekhyun. He broke up with her, so there is no reason to keep holding on.

Saeron started seeing other guys, but at the end of the day her mind will only think of him, Baekhyun. She went on several blind dates but she keeps comparing them to Baekhyun. She hates that. Sehun, on the other hand, is now writing history. He, together with this group, is now gaining popularity. Sehun's charms seem to capture every girl's heart despite his silence appearance. She once told him to smile and it turned out a little dork. She remembered calling him telling him that he looked hilarious and evil. Sehun laughs it off, telling her that he will let her slide because they are friends. Sehun gave up courting her. He concluded that she will no longer open her heart to her. But despite their past, they became good friends. Sehun wants to stay by her side; he wants to be part of her life, as a friend. And he is okay with that. Saeron has been doing well for the past three months, promising herself that she will now only move forward.

She still spends her nights crying, especially when she thinks about him. She still wonders what is happening to his life. Does he still missing her? Does he still love her? Because heck, she still do. She can't stop thinking about him, loving him, caring for him, and everything. She just stops showing it. She will only refuse to talk about him but ends up wondering what they would say if she let them talk. She will often find herself staring at the cloud, at the moonlight, at nowhere when she thinks about him. Her wounds just won't seem to heal. His presence that used to lingers inside her house is no longer there. He left her, with her heart shattered into million pieces. Of course she tried picking herself up, hoping that one day she will finds her happiness. But it seems like her happiness is also the one who gives her pain. It's Baekhyun, and will always be him. Seeing other guys is the stupidest move she ever did. Because the more she sees other man, the more she realizes that it will always be him. It will always be him that can make her feel weak with just a smile, with just a stare. It will always be him that can make her feel the butterflies. It will always be him that can make her feel lost. It will always be him that can make her feel satisfied. He is the only person who can make her happy.

***

She found another one today, a letter that is lying down on her doorstep. She starts receiving letter a week ago and it goes on and on every day, the handwriting is familiar and she is sure that these letters came from either Sehun or Kyungsoo. She knew them better. Her guess is it's from Sehun because they often see each other because of his tight schedule and hers too. She got accepted from a company she applied for five months ago and she has been working for them for four months. Despite their busy schedules, they made time for each other, hanging out at least once in every two weeks, or three. She can totally understand him; he is no longer another face in the crowd because he is now the one that causes a crowd. They kept their friendship low, knowing that he is already a popular idol. Saeron thought that Sehun already gave up on her. They have already talked about it. They decided to become just friends so she isn't sure now why is he doing this again. Saeron opened the letter, reading words that melt her wall.

You are surely shining so bright. I can actually live without the sun if I have you by my side.

She smiles reading the line. She never thought that Sehun can be cheesy. She guesses that being an idol makes him like that. She closes the door behind her and then walks back to the living room. Taking her cup of tea, she takes a sip.

Saeron got caught up with her job, staying for another hour to finish her work. Her deadline is nearing and she's already panicking. She's not good working in pr