Bittersweet

Pentagon Love

Chapter 33

Bittersweet
 
 
 

-Yuri's POV-

 

I decided to walk going to Taeyeon's house. Feeling the cold winter air on my cheeks made me shiver as I rubbed my shoulders with my gloved hands searching for warmth. Why not use my beautiful car and have a smooth ride with the heater on? I can't. I needed some time to process my thoughts and my overly confused heart before meeting Kim Taeyeon. And besides, walking always makes me think with sense. It's my way of reflecting and I sometimes, always, come up with organized solutions over challenging problems.

 

"Yeah right, well you should've given more thought in your actions during the past few days." I mumbled more to myself as I harshly shoved my gloved hands in the pockets of my baggy winter pants. Frustration always comes up in my system when I think of the words: Cheating, deception, liar, manipulation, cowardice, and fickleness.

 

And there are words that make my heart beat a little faster...and make my whole body warm. Just thinking about them makes my hand sweat in overdrive. Another sigh escaped as I kicked a stone away from my path. What are these words? Oh yeah, these are more like names...

 

Choi Sooyoung. I smiled as I kicked another pebble. My dependable bestfriend eversince high school. She has always been there for me and has been my driving force in every challenges I faced. I dont know what i'll do when she's not there by my side. I've only recently noticed how extremely beautiful she is. Noticed that...she's a woman. It dawned on me, that I hated seeing her with a man, more particularly that Choi Siwon. "Tch, that poor excuse of a man." I hate him, especially those dimples that he always show. What hurts me the most is that Sooyoung kept him a secret from me. We never keep secrets to each other. I smacked my forehead, "You , you 'violated' her when she was drunk and you kept it a secret from her". . I spoke too loud. Now passersby look at me weirdly and must've thought that I was a . Oh no that mother has her phone in her hands, must be readying herself to call the police.

 

Compose yourself. Okay, stop talking too loud and get back to reflecting. Next is...Tiffany Hwang. My angel. I snickered but frowned immediately. I'm not worthy to be calling her MY angel. She's not mine and she made it clear that we're just friends after all our sensual encounters. Just when I thought that I have finally found solace in her arms, she broke it in the end. I wont deny, I felt something special for her, romantically. I hoped that I can be the one that she always sees when she wakes up in the morning...and the only one she holds in her sleep. I never asked the reason why she friend-zoned me so easily. The bruise was deep and i never thought that it would hurt so much that I just...went home right away without letting Tiffany further explain her feelings. I know it's stupid. I'm stupid. But give me a break; the same- relationship topic was new to me. I was scared...more than Tiffany.

 

I gasped when I heard loud honking from behind. Apparently I wandered over the road and thank god there were no mad drivers imitating speed racer. I immediately bowed apologetically and went back to the walk side pathway. I scanned the neighborhood. Hmmm...almost there. At my right side, not too far from me is an ice skating rink. Two kids hand in hand, the little girl was shaky and is in the verge of falling that I automatically stepped forward towards them but I stopped halfway when her other friend came to her rescue and steadied her. A childish grin came to her cute face and they resumed their skating lesson. I smiled brightly at the scene, it was innocent and warm.

 

Nostalgic. Ah...Sunny Lee. I walked towards the ice skating rink. Though not really a rink, just a frozen lake but the ice looks sturdy enough. I waved at the kids and they acknowledged me with a smile. I found a spot where I can sit for awhile and I continued to watch the kids, they didn’t seem to care at all and just enjoying each other's company. I sighed deeply. "I'm in love with you". My childhood friend...said she loves me. I was honestly shocked at the revelation. She's very important to me and I dont want to hurt her with my words...or in my actions. At some point I was delighted that she loves me. But then my cowardness acted up that I didn't make a move to tell her my feelings. My feelings? What do I feel about her? Like with Tiffany's, I was scared. I needed to slow things a bit. I should. She's very delicate that I'm so scared of even touching her. "That's bull, you hug her every time" I mumbled again. I should really stop talking out loud.

 

"Hey miss! are you alright? you were making these scary faces." One of the kids poked my cheeks and did a pouting face. I chuckled and ruffled her bushy brown hair. She reminds me of Sunny. Cute amd innocent.

 

"I'm fine. I'm sorry if I scared you." she giggled and went back to her friend.

 

"Hey! kid with the short hair." He pointed to himself and I nodded. He slowly made his way towards me and pulled the cute girl's hand.

 

I kneeled in front of them as I rummaged through my backpack. "Can you do me a favor?" I whispered to the boy. The boy hesitantly nodded and I smiled as I gave him a bag full of chocolates. "Share this with your girlfriend." He blushed.

 

I patted his shoulder and lightly pinched his chubby cheek, "Cherish your friends, okay kiddo?"

 

He nodded eagerly and bowed. "Thank you, noona."

 

I grinned as I bid farewell to them. In a few seconds I heard squeals and when I turned my back to glance at them, the little girl was hugging the boy tightly. "Haa...young love"

 

I stretched for a bit and resumed my leisure walk. I admired the high pine trees that were covered with snow. Christmas. I always spend it with my dad. I smiled at the thought of cooking chicken and pasta and I love how he always gets large portions on his plate. And every after Christmas eve, he'd always put up gifts under the Christmas tree. Gifts. You know those fancy boxes with household materials inside of it. Yup, it was all for show but my dad thinks it heightens up the christmas spirit. I chuckled; he can be a real dork sometimes. There are occassions that i spent my christmas at work. I spent most of my time at part time jobs than I do in school back in high school. Working as a barista during christmas made me pity myself because a lot of school girls order their favorite drinks in the cafe. They wore their expensive winter clothes with their boyfriends in tow carrying their shopping bags.

 

Rich people had it easy. They can buy whatever they want to satiate their desires. But money can't buy all the happiness in this world. It wouldn't. Not with Jessica Jung. I know this is crazy but I've gotten to like her more. She's lonely which makes me want to protect her. I also realized how blessed I am of my father because he's always there for me...unlike Jesica's parents...they are always busy. She's not the selfish overly obsessed with herself type of rich girl. She's different. Sensitive and emotional maybe. Confident and strong definitely. I laughed as I remembered our fights. I like to so much and it's very refreshing. Weird I know. "Nuh-uh, I am not into S&M." I stopped. All of the sudden my temperature rose and my face heated. I remembered the insane dream of her. Of course it was just a dream; Jessica would've killed me if she knew that I can be a man. There's no denying that she has an incredible body which I accidently saw in her shower room. I slapped my cheeks lightly. God, I have a crush on her. NO NO NO. Must.get away. from.catwoman.

 

"#%($+#+%" I cursed when a stray black cat lazily walked in front of me. "Damn cats." I mumbled as I inched away. The cat stopped and looked at me with a scary glare. I twitched. "Pretty kitty." I nervously smiled and dashed away.

 

I stopped for a bit when I felt my legs ache. I have been walking for minutes. Fortunately, I can already see Taeyeon's place from where I'm standing. Kim Taeyeon. Who would've known that a girl like her likes a Kwon Yuri? I know, I'm shocked too. I admire her beautiful singing voice. In high school even, I saw her shine with every song. I sighed deeply. I have been doing that a lot lately. She's beautiful, nice, and smart. She's the girl of every boy's/girl's dream of dating. "You are one lucky bastard" I said to myself. It was Taeyeon's confession that gave her hope...to maybe move on from Tiffany...and start something new with Taeyeon. I have seen her and we made love. Unplanned by the way, and it was during my healing phase. But I have this nagging feeling that I dont deserve her. Yes, she deserves someone better.

 

I felt guilty for giving her nasty looks in high school because of jealousy over Jo Kwon. The heck. I give nasty looks to all the girls he's close with. To think about it, all these problems I'm having happened because of him! You stupid-charming-y-gaylover- heart breaker! I side-punched a tree with my right hand and bunch of snow fell. I exhaled heavily.

 

Frustration list additions: black magic, old woman, cats, SooSunJeTaeny, and Jo Kwon.

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I knocked on the door and waited. When there was no response, I raised my hand to knock again but the door soon opened and a smaller version of Taeyeon showed up. She had her arms crossed and her chin up. She gave me her glare which came out cutely. "You must be the new babysitter."

 

I gulped, she somehow resemble someone I know. Not Taeyeon. The kid's tone gave me shivers. And what the hell, she's not using honorofics.

I kneeled as I gave her my brightest smile. I gave her my hand for a handshake, "Hello, my name's Yuri and yes, I'll be the one in charge of you for tonight."

 

She just looked at my hand and raised a brow. She came closer to me and flicked my forehead. Ouch? That hurts damnit. I carefully caressed my reddened forehead. I'm not really good with kids but I felt the urge of snapping at her.

 

"No one's in charge of me. You're not the boss of me." She placed her hands on her waist and ever so slowly circled me, scrutinizing me. "Put this in your small brain, I will be your boss and you'll obey every command I'll say."

 

She stopped and her small face came closer to mine. "Got it?" Why I oughta...Someone stop me or I'll beat this kid in one blow. I heard the door close and I was left there kneeling like an idiot.

 

"What the fuuu was that?!"

 

The door opened again and I finally saw Taeyeon with a worried expression on her face. "Yuri, what are you doing?"

 

I stood up and smiled awkwardly, "Haha, I just met your sister. She's very cute."

 

She had a disbelieving look but she ushered me to come inside her house. When inside, she removed my jacket and placed it in the hanger. She inspected me and gave me another worried look. I raised my hands and tried to straighten the crooked eyebrows on her face.

 

I laughed to get the tension away, "What's with that look? I want you to smile more."

 

She half-smiled, "It's just that you look so pale. You came so early, I haven’t prepared anything for you...Hold on ill prepare some hot chocolate--" I stopped her from walking away and placed my hands on her shoulders massaging them a bit. "Relax please. I'm fine, really."

 

"Okay...so uhh...welcome to my home." she shyly smiled and looked down at the wooden floor. Her place is simple and cosy. It is a two storey house with three bedrooms.

"I love your home, it's very welcoming." I smiled and then there was silence. I don't know where to start or how to start the conversation. I can tell that Taeyeon's having a hard time too.

 

"Tae-"

 

"Where's your car? I didnt see any vehicles outside."

 

"I walked going here."

 

"Oh..."

 

And silence..again.

 

"Taeyeon, we should talk...about what happened between us." I blushed and I tried so hard to look at her eyes.

 

She pursed her lips and gave me a sad look, "I came out agresively didn't I? I'm sorry Yuri, I wasn't able to resist-"

 

"No, it's not your fault. It was mine. I gave in to temptation. And I should've controlled myself. I'm deeply sorry Taeyeon...I didn't want to lead you on...I mean, you're really special to me! You're very beautiful but I think you deserve someone better and I'm just a that-" She stopped me from my blabbering by gently placing a finger on my lips.

 

"You heart breaker." she smiled but I saw her eyes get a bit teary.

 

"I don't want to hurt you any further because I'm in love with someone else."

 

She gulped and tried to show her grin. "Shh...you don't have to explain. I knew. Don't get so worked up about it."

 

She knew? As much as I want to return her feelings for me, I can't because that would be unfair to Taeyeon. I love someone else and I can't keep it from her anymore.

 

"I'm sorry..."

 

She laughed, which surprised me. I gave her a confused look but she just shrugged it off.

 

"I feel like I'm in those drama shows, tch." she playfully nudged me. But I didn't feel like playing so I looked her seriously in the eyes. I hate it when I'm the reason why a person is hurting.

She was about to nudge me again but I stopped her by holding her hands. "I'm sorry" I whispered as I pulled her for a hug. She tensed up but soon relaxed herself in my embrace. "I'm deeply, truly sorry". She sighed and kept her head my shoulder. I felt something wet on my shoulder. I closed my eyes hard, hating myself.

 

"You jerk." she mumbled.

 

"I know..."

 

"Stupid"

 

"I know.."

 

"Jackass"

 

I chuckled, "I know."

 

"Sorry, but you deserve it."

 

"I definitely do."

 

After a few minutes, she slightly pulled away from the hug and studied my face. "I'm going to miss your ert face."

 

 

"H-huh? Yah!"

 

"I was just kidding." She giggled. I cupped her face and gently removed her tears with my thumb.

 

"Stop crying...I hate it when I see you cry..."

 

She smiled brightly and I melted. There it was. That's what I've been looking for. "I love your smile, always smile please."

 

 

She completely pulled away and playfully flicked my head. Unlike her sister's, hers didn't hurt so much. "You are such a sweet talker. You just dumped me awhile ago and then you're flirting with me. Make up your mind. Jeez, women need to be careful around you."

 

I chuckled but I soon placed a sad expression. It was really hard for me to let her go but a big weight has finally pulled away from my system when I did. Taeyeon lightly slapped my cheeks, "Don't look at me like that, I feel so pathetic right now." She said as she checked her wrist watch.

"I'd love to stick around and have a little heart to heart conversation with you regarding your love interest-" She looked up the stairs and I did too, we saw her little sister spying on us. She hid behind the cabinet but failed because of her high pigtails. Taeyeon looked back at me and continued, "-who I'm really curious about..but I have to run. My boss wants me to perform in the night shift in the hotel today."

 

"Oh yeah right, of course." Taeyeon works part-time as a lounge singer. She's amazing, and she gets big bucks from it and I totally understand why she does that together with her studies. Her parents are in overseas and very often forget to provide them money. It irritated Taeyeon that she decided to work just to be sure she and her sister have something to eat. It made me realize that she's no different from Jessica. That's why they’re both so close to each other.

 

"I have to go. And because you dumped me, you have to suffer the consequences." She pointed to her little sister who is still hiding behind the cabinet. " She's hard to deal with but she'll warm up to you soon." She'd better. Or else I'll go with the traditional way of punishing children if she continues to disrespect me.

 

"Alright no problem, I can handle this." I grinned but Taeyeon still had this worried and guilty look on her face.

 

"Haeyeon, be nice to your Yuri unnie. I'll be going home late so dont have to wait for me okay?" she shouted but there was no response from the little girl. She sighed and looked at Yuri as she readied herself to leave the house.

 

"Goodbye Yuri, and thank you for accepting my request."

 

"Hey, it's no big deal. This is my punishment for being late in our first date..remember?"

 

"Well, just...good luck." she grinned and was slowly closing the door but stopped halfway.

 

"And Yuri..."

 

"Yes?"

 

"Thank you for telling me sooner." She smiled and I felt like I'm the super jerk of all the jerks in the worl that ever existed. I just smiled in return until I heard the clicking sound of the closing door.

 

I sighed in relief. As I turned around, I saw mini Taeyeon holding handcuffs and a white cloth. She was staring at me intently, trying to figure me out.

 

I'd better get friendly with her first. I clapped my hands with much enthusiasm and made my voice pitch a bit higher. "So, what do you want us to do? Playing cops and robbers can be fun too." I tried my best to show her my cheerful self but a cold sweat reached my face when she smirked.

 

 

 

 

Oh . I have a bad feeling about this.

 

 

 

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I knoooooww...I'm such a bad author. :(( But one thing's definitely sure, this fic is not yet dead and I'm going to finish it. I figured it all out. AAAANNND...I'M SO SORRY FOR THE TAERI SHPPERS. :( 

 

 

Tss...Im gonna make a Taeri fic in the future. (-________________-)

 

 
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Fire_trek 315 streak #1
Chapter 35: This was a great story, thank you author nim for it. This was a great chapter as well, I think from what I’ve read that she would have probably ended up with Jessica. Idk but this was a good ride!
Fire_trek 315 streak #2
Chapter 34: What in the world was Jessica doing there? I feel bad for Taeyeon but I guess she’ll have to move on now. And it’s funny but usually when I read these fics it’s Sooyoung that is the ert, never thought I’d read it where Tiffany was trying to take advantage. I still wonder who Yuri is in love with, I’m so curious and there is only one chapter left so I’m pretty sure that it won’t be disclosed. Bummer
Fire_trek 315 streak #3
Chapter 33: Taeyeon’s sister is the devil incarnate lol she’s going to take Yuri for a ride she’ll never forget. Sad to see these two not work out but excited to see who Yuri says she loves because they’re lucky.. I wonder what’s she’s going to do with the remaining girls because I know this fic was never finished but I hope we get some resolution before the end
Fire_trek 315 streak #4
Chapter 32: So Sooyoung finally got to Tiffany, let’s see what plans she has for her. And with Sunny confessing I thought that Yuri would be happy but it just made her more confused.. I feel bad for Yuri that I almost forgot about the situation with Jessica. This is getting crazy but I like it!
Fire_trek 315 streak #5
Chapter 31: Cool, Yoona has been introduced.. I feel like I’m overthinking this but did Tiffany say she really loved Jessica? Platonically or romantically? I’m glad that Sunny finally confessed to Yuri about her feelings, I can’t wait to see how she reacts. And Sooyoung and Hyoyeon’s dynamic is fun and lighthearted, I’d like to see more of them together too.
Fire_trek 315 streak #6
Chapter 30: Chapter 30: Who is it? Is it Yuri? I think it’s Yuri but it could be Tiffany. I’m glad that Jessica is opening up more and doing what needs to be done. Thank you for the chapter, author nim
Fire_trek 315 streak #7
Chapter 29: Is Yuri and Jessica an item now? I can totally see it, but I think the other girls would like it.. and I see Mr. Han trying to court mrs. Choi but like Sooyoung said she is married! This was a cute and light chapter that I really enjoyed reading
Fire_trek 315 streak #8
Chapter 28: That was hot 🥵 too bad it wasn’t real. I like the fact that Yuri has to keep on going to the different girls, I like each of their personalities. I don’t mind if she hasn’t picked a girl yet, let her have her harem, damnit! Let me live vicariously through her err, I mean, let Yuri live her life.
Fire_trek 315 streak #9
Chapter 27: Oh no, she’s going to turn into a guy again, isn’t she? With all the girls around to witness boy!Yul.. she’s stuck in between a rock and a hard place, huh? I can’t wait to see this( if it does actually happen)
Fire_trek 315 streak #10
Chapter 26: Even though Sunny didn’t like them together, she protected Yuri and Taeyeon from a snooping Jessica. I wonder if she will bring that up later or will let it slide? This just became much more interesting and complicated as well.