Tao surpressed his annoyed growl and grabbed Kris by the wrist. 'This stupid, ing...!'

"Sit down!", he hissed, roughly yanking on Kris' arm and making him fall back down into the sofa.

He saw how Kris' eyes widened in surprise and the elder unconciously rubbed his wrist. He opened his mouth to say something but Tao cut him off.

"No. You shut up right now. Stop jumping to conclusions all the time! I'm not finfished yet."

He noticed Kris' concerned face and open mouth, too surprised and baffled to say anything in return. He just weakly nodded and Tao took it as a sign to continue.

"No, you didn't overstep the boundaries, there never were any conciously made by the two of us. It isn't all your fault Kris. You may have overreacted a little bit but so did I. I was selfish and mean. I should have told you about my prolems earlier and... I should have trusted you more."

The hybrid bit his lip and his heart felt heavy and painful at the sight of a sad and at the same time hopeful Kris in front of him. And at the thought of what would have to come now.

"Tao...", Kris whispered and the younger's heart skipped a beat as the elder inched forward and carefully took his hand.

It felt cold, Kris' hand. But as the long, slender fingers comfortingly caressed his skin and rubbed his hand he felt the spot where the elder touched tingle and a shiver ran down his back.

"I- You're always so considerate and you have the patience of an angel and nerves of steel. I took it for granted and hurt both of us with my problems and my selfishness when I could have pulled myself together and tell you. It would have made it a lot easier and it wouldn't have come to this. I'm sorry Kris, I'm so, so sorry."

He felt tears well up as the emotions pushed against the barrier he had put up in his heart to protect it from Kris' gentle hands and deep voice, Kris' gorgeous smile and the beautiful eyes and he bit his lip, trying to keep the salty liquid from falling and making it even more burdensome.

"Tao... kitten", Kris whispered and lay a shaky hand onto the hybrid's cheek. The tears threatening to fall twinkled in the soft light coming through the windows. "Don't cry. You don't have to force yourself. I- we can work it out... you don't have to tell me."

Tao quickly pulled away and angrily wiped away the stupid tears now rolling down his face.

"No", he said, voice strong and serious, "I have to do this."

He shuddered as Kris' hand tightly squeezed his and he looked up to look into a pair of beautiful, dark brown, twinkling eyes. He felt the pain fade away slowly but surely as Kris looked at him and held his hands in a strong, secure hold.

"I- It's because of my parents. I- ...", Tao growled as his heart twisted in such a painful way he had to stop and take a deep breath.

"It's okay, Tao. Take your time", Kris whispered and squeezed his hands.

The elder pulled the small, extremely vulnerable looking man in his arms. He heard a gasp and then a shaky sigh as Tao clawed his fingers into the front of Kris' pullover and the hybrid buried his face in his neck. He felt the soft, silky fur of the tail on his skin as it slipped underneath his pullover and curled around his waist, pulling both of them closer together and sending a bolt of electricity through Kris. The warm breath tickled over his neck as Tao breathed shakily, in and out, deep and slow. The hybrid nuzzled closer and Kris felt a warm wetness on his neck and collarbone. His heart ached painfully and he raked his fingers through Tao's hair. He massaged the younger's ears softly, trying to comfort him.

"They hated each other", Tao whispered and Kris felt the younger tremble. "They despised me. My mother... she hated us, my father and me. She was crazy. My father... I don't know for sure but he loved my mother once. He is a shape shifter. He and my mother met when she was very young and... their relationship was still fresh and fragile when my father marked her when he was in heat. It was an accident, a loss of control during the fire and passion of the heat. She was there, young and naive and... she gave herself to him without thinking about the consequences. He took her freedom to be with anyone else and bound them together forever. And he knocked her up."

Kris' heart clenched as he heard a bitter laugh.

"With me. He knocked her up with me. She hated me to the bone. She could have lived on, do something else if it hadn't been for me. She was so young and then she got pregnant. She may have been in love with my father and she probably could have lived with him, forgiven him for marking her but then I destroyed all her dreams and hopes."

The younger clenched his fists so hard his knuckles turned white and he squeezed his eyes shut, almost crawling into Kris, wanting to flee from the ice starting to engulf him and the loneliness hunting him since he had been a child. Kris was so warm, so strong and secure and all he wanted to do was curl into a tiny ball and stay within Kris' warmth forever but he forced himself to continue.

"She accused me and my father for ruining her life and she was right. My father marked her, took all her possibilities to be with anyone else away forever and forced a bond on her that she hated and wanted to flee from. And then he gave her a child at such a young age... they married, but only because of me. They grew apart and started to despise each other. They screamed and fought for as long as I can remember. At night, when my father thought I was sleeping he was with his lovers in our house. He may have loved me, but not my mother, not his mate. Not anymore. At least my mother didn't take her lovers home with her and let me hear everything. She always ran away or drowned her hate and bitterness in alcohol. Until she killed herself...", Tao whispered and rose his head to look into Kris' eyes with tears streaming down his face and an expression that made the elder want to take all the pain and sadness, all the loneliness away. It made the elder want to find Tao's parents and beat the out of them for scarring the helpless, innocent child Tao had been back then so terribly and doing all these horrible things. "Do you understand Kris!?", Tao almost screamed, pulling on the collar of the white shirt Kris was wearing under his pullover and shaking him hard, "She killed herself! She took her life because of me! She felt so lost and destroyed because she couldn't even look at me, her own son, without being reminded of how she lost all her dreams and hopes. And she left me, Kris, she left me all alone with my father who abandoned me in front of a house I didn't know and left me with an old woman that I had never seen before!"

The grip on Kris' shirt weakened and Tao's head fell forward, shoulders shaking and loud sobs escaping through Tao's lips.

"They left me all alone because they hated me... I'm terrified, Kris. Terrified I'll be the same as them, I'll do the exact same mistake and make someone hate me as much as my mother hated my father and me", he whispered and of all the things Tao had said, this was what made Kris the most angry and made his heard twist and ache in all kinds of terrible, painful ways.

He lifted his hands and cupped Tao's wet face in a gentle but dominant grip and lifted it, forcing Tao to look in his eyes. His voice was strong and so secure, so deep and soft but at the same time harsh and demanding.

"Listen to me Tao. It's not your fault! It is not your fault your father marked your mother when he was in heat and it's not your fault she got pregnant. You are a gift to this world, Tao. If your parents had never met you would have never been born and although they hated you they still loved you, deep down in their hearts. Because you were their son, Tao. You were all they had and no matter how harsh and cruel the world may seem or have seemed, you got through it and now you're here. You are not like your parents Tao, you know better. And if you never would have been born... it might seem crazy to you but I am thankful to your parents. Because of them and all the things they went through we could meet and I could fall in love with you."

Tao blinked at Kris and his heart soaked the words up like a sponge that had been lying in the desert, abandoned and now found and dipped into the water. He felt a pain in his chest but not the one that made you scream and feel like you've been killed but the kind of pain of slowly letting go of something that had been with you for your whole life and had become a part of you, a pain that, when it faded only left relief and a few scars to remind oneself of what had been but now was gone. A pain that faded and left space for other feelings.

"What- what did you say?", Tao whispered between sniffling and blinking at Kris, disbelieving and unsure if he heard right.

Kris chuckled and wiped away the tears on Tao's cheeks with the sleeve of his pullover. He gently swiped away the wet bangs sticking to his forehead and let his fingers graze along the hybrid's jawline. The fingers stopped underneath Tao's chin and he lifted it up a bit and pressed the softest and sweetest kiss on his lips Tao had ever experienced. He felt his heart grow warm and open up like the petals of a flower in the sunlight of a fresh morning. A shudder ran down his spine and he closed his eyes as Kris leaned his forehead on his and the deep, soft voice rolled over him in a whisper.

"I love you."