Like I've Never Heard Goodbye - crazyasianlady
BLK's Review Shop ACHIEVEI'm not positive where the title comes into play with the one shot. It could be I'm just not getting it or you came up with the title before you wrote the story and just forgot to change it (I've done that before).
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Character: (9/10)
In the short amount of time all Got7's members were introduced along with our main character, Jaerin. Other than knowing their tastes in sweet, we don't really know them. We do know that Jaerin has accomplished her career goal in life and loves sweets in general. We got that JB is both a hardworker and supporter of his sister, as he was going to practice for many hours with s. Meanwhile, he's supporting and caring toward Jaerin. We see that when we first heard him and Jr. talking to one another, and JB warns Jr. about Jaerin's last breakup. Afraid that she was still hurt by that break up. However, we see that Jaerin and Jr. also had a thing for one another, since Jaerin easily agreed to go on a date with Jr. near the end.
Then we know that Jaerin's parents didn't support of her career, however, the question of whether they supported JB's came to mind.
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Originality: (10/10)
I've got to say, I've read a lot of stories and none tied together the idea of a hairstylist with sweets. So it was a fresh read and the idea was enjoyable.
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Story-line/Plot: (39/40)
We start out with Jaerin earning her first paycheck and is getting off work, she plans to bring her brother a gift for encouraging her with her career decision. In the end she ended up buying for his whole team, cutting her paycheck total amount in half. This scene we were hinted that there must have been a member in JB's group that Jaerin was also interested in, however, we don't get to know who he truly was until she arrived at their practice location. Thus she shared and even encouraged s to share the sweets she had bought, in this revealing the team members taste in sweet food. It also showed how close the characters were, as no one really greeted her awkwardly but instead gather to eat what she bought. In the end we see that Jr. isn't really determined that Jaerin may or may not date him, thus he goes on a ramble to try to gain the desired answer from her. In which case she said yes, and mentioned of a yogurt place. We can tell just how much these characters loves sweets.
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Grammar/Errors: (24.5/25)
None really, it was short, simple, and sweet with the right usage of words.
Original: "..., your minded drifted to your brother’s band mates."
Correction: "...., your mind drifted to your brother’s band mates."
Suggestion: n/a
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Overall Enjoyment: (4.5/5)
It was the shortest one shot I have ever read, but I did enjoy it. The story made me hungry and now I miss mochis, but I loved it. The ending was especially adorable!
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Total Score (93/100)
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Bonus: *Your questions and focuses for me*
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