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Author: twenty-six
Reviewed By: kpoperrose

Requested Date: 12/21/15

Review Completion: 01/01/16
Story Link: Link
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Bonus: (Your questions and focuses for us here)

Title: 10/10

Logical: 0/3

Since the story hasn't mentioned that part yet, I don't know how the title relates to the story.

Eye-catching: 3/3
It is a very intriguing title as it comes off as very mysterious.

Original: 3/4
I have encountered a fic with a similar title.

Description/Foreword: 9/10

Summary: 5/5

The summary was well written and made me want to read on.

Appearance: 4/5
Despite the summary being well-written, the blotches on the background of the foreword made it a bit difficult to read.

Character Development/Showcasing: 5/10

Development: 5/5

The character development in this story isn't something to be overlooked. Hyuna is a girl with a dark, and possibly traumatic, past which causes her to refuse to scream, no matter what. She also displays a lack of emotions, making her a bit of a psychopath.

Relation/Cast: 1/5
So far, there is little to no character interaction or relations. The first chapter just showcased Hyuna's bad memories of other people.

Behind the Author's Mind: 21/40

Logical: 2/10

This is graded very lowly because I'm not so sure where the author's going with the story. The only thing that I can relate to is the fact that Hyuna refuses to scream.

Original: 8/10
It is a pretty original story.

Tone: 5/5
This story was written in a sophisticated and angsty tone which depicts Hyuna's character perfectly.

Naration: 0/5

The tenses used in this story aren't consistent and they style used in the story distracts the readers from the plot.

Storyline: 6/10
Points were deducted in this sectiom because the storyline was sort of rough.

Proper Use of the English Language: 16/25

Proper Grammar/Punctuation: 1/10

There were a lot of grammatical errors. For example,

'Promise is made from heart to heart' should be  'A promise is made from heart to heart'

'My name rose as one of the three survivor' should be 'My name rose as one of the three survivors.' since it is in plural form.

'How wrong can a 'screaming' be?' should be 'How wrong can a 'scream' be?'

'I've had seen they do 'it' anywhere' should be 'I've seen them do 'it anywhere' This is because I've stands for I have so there's no need to add had after it. 

'I worked even harder to eject myself away from others.' could be 'I worked even harder to distance myself away from others.'

Termonology: 5/5
The vocabulary is expanded.

Language Barrier: 10/10
There were no overused Korean phrases.

General Enjoyment/Last Comment: 0/5
I couldn't enjoy the story much because everything was just very confusing. The writing style really distracted me from the plot and I really didn't get where the author was going with the story. The tenses used weren't consistent and there were alot of grammatical errors so it was hard and confusing to read.

Total points: 57/100

A little note from me

The story seemed to have a good plot, sadly, the style it was written in was so distracting. I'm sorry about the low score and I hope you continue writing. I also suggest that you get a beta reader or someone that can help you with grammar. Despite the score, do not be discouraged and I hope to see this story continued. I'm also very sorry for the wait. Fighting author-nim!^^

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