NOTE: Two chapters long

(10/10) Title: The title is very cute, it gives a feeling like it ties to how she felt in the past and now. And how meaningful her oppa is to her.

(7/10) Character:The characters and their relationships are still quite unknown to the readers, like at the beginning I was super surprise that the two were related. I was surprised that almost the whole EXO gang was in the story, I only expected the two guys on the character list, Kai and DO. And NO!! Kai is always the sad player or someone very drama- like. They are an interesting mix of groups. To be honest, the strangest thing I read, was how "Mr. Suho" acted towards her even if they are siblings in a way. In class he was like a terrible teacher, and seemed like an immature bully, and he didn't say anything when Baek called her a nimrad. I was super surprised to figure it out, and how terrible it was of Suho(although he's really actually kind in real life) to torture her like that, then all of a sudden after class, acts like a depending older mature step brother, and completely ignores what he just did. I also think it'd be less confusing if you had added more on the list, and their family and friend relationships.

(5/10) Originality:OKAY!! Everyone does this. Many authors express their feeling unto their stories. This especially goes and happens for first person point of view. Authors tend to accidentally put their own emotions over the character's emotions. I knew it said and only listed the good qualities of Eunmi, but I don't know what you're like, but it listed, "shy, caring and loving, " so I would expect the trait, "kind" in there also. She didn't very seem to be many of those, though. For many examples, after she was all shy, later on, she showed no signs of being shy. Realistically, I won't see shy people rolling their eyes, because they are thoughtful, careful, and usually kind. I also know you could've meant she only acted like that on the outside. Those type of people are reasonable, but reading where she thinks,"locked our gazes on the stupid guy who decided to speak aloud. "We have a guest-celebrity who has come and is visiting our school for a few week's." The guy said obviously not know what he was saying. I scoffed at the thought of how horrible the boy must look until he, himself appeared next to the guy. My Jaw nearly dropped open as he stood next to the guy." This whole part makes her seem like a superficial judging person different from the character description list. And then, the "rich company" part about Kai, I'm not super sure about how that works for him in the story... DO seems to fit so far.

(37/40) Storyline/Plot:The best twist or your plot in the story is DO's arrival which I mentioned many times, since that seems to be the main purpose of those two chapters. Their past has a warm nice feeling, but you can use the word "flashback" for it when you're talking about the past.

(8/25) Grammar/Errors: Your major problem is grammar. You have many errors, but it'll not be hard to correct. I am very strong in grammar, and see that you make ordinary errors. For instances, I see that every time you put "knows" or "yours," with an apostrophe, like, "know's" and "your's."These do not exist. You do the opposite since sometimes you mess up on possesives. You accidentally make some words uppercase in the middle of a sentence, and use the wrong words, like "you're" instead of "your." Remember that "you're" is, "you are" but just together. You make your quotations different from proper quoting, like you miss periods and commas at the end of quotations. You also have commas in unnecessary places. I advise you to reread over your work always, because sometimes we can type too fast and forget to check our spelling, it will always happen. You seem to mix the grammar up, are very wordy. You'll need to distinguish commas from periods. Some words, like common nouns shouldn't be uppercase, like, "class," unless it is a proper noun like names and landmarks. I promise if you hope to get better, you may.

(3/5) Overall Enjoyment:The best and nice part seemed to be DO's appearence. Them reuniting after a long time. I know I can't say much after just reading a bit, but I've tried to give you my best advice and encouragements. It had a good flow, especially at the end.

(70/100) Points Total

Bonus: Hope you'll continue and add twists!! SO so sorry if I sound like a teacher, I unintentionally do. I like to take these opportunities as a teaching moment!!

My sentence structure and spelling errors, also the flow of the story and what I should add to make it more "readable" xD

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