Footprints in the Snow

Reviewer: dhaatk
Review for: fefedove

Requested on: 01/17/2015
Finished On: 01/17/2015

NOTE: 3 Chapters (Spoiler Alert)

(10/10) Title: The title is original and very accurate. Though at first, judging from the title, I thought this was going to be a werewolf-based story.

(9/10) Character: The story being short did not prevent from character development to be involved and it was great. Despite the fact that Minseok was already dead in the original timing of the story, through Luhan's narration the former's personality was beautifully revealed. You created Minseok as a character that puts a spell on the reader and makes them want to hug and protect him at all costs. This is one of the best and hardest things to do as a writer, but you pulled it off perfectly. As for Luhan, I also felt sorry for his loss, but it was more because of how beautiful of a person his lover was than because of Luhan's pain. Most probably the only flaw I found in characters, was Yixing. To me he seemed a bit too bland and profound. Now, I don't mean that a random stranger cannot be wise, but the way he spoke to a person he just met was too much and actually seemed fake.

(10/10) Originality: There are many stories about cancer or ranting to a random stranger in a cafe, but I still find everything about the story original, so that's why I'm giving full score on this.

(38/40) Storyline/Plot: The flow was very good, but the pace seemed a bit too quick. The format of story could have bee a bit different, too. What I mean by this is that you could divide past events and set exact dates for them or interrupt flashbacks with Yixing's remarks how, for instance, Luhan's face changed while speaking about certain details. Luhan's story seemed more like a rant in a bad way, because past events were described pretty much just by his fast talking. However, there were a lot of great things about the plot. For example, I loved that heart in snow hat Minseok made and what he said made me emotional as a reader. The biggest thing that provoked my emotions and feelings was the fact that basically every most important event happened during Christmas. Minseok and Luhan meet during fake Christmas, but it still linked with the rest, Minseok died on Christmas Eve and finally, Luhan felt lonely and roamed the streets on the same day, just a years later – these all acts linked together ideally.

(25/25) Grammar/Errors: Your grammar is splendid, I couldn't see any mistakes.

(5/5) Overall Enjoyment: As I have commented on your story already and as you can see from my immediate upvote, I fell in love with your story and it is truly amazing.

(97/100) Points Total  Congratulations, your story got featured!

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