Phantom Crimes - theslyfox
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theslyfox
request on: 08/13/15
REVIEWER: kpoperrose
finished on: 11/5/15
score: 60/75
Title: (10/10)
LOGICAL (3/3) - Does the title ties in legitimately with the story and its plot.
The title ended up being their case name so it does relate to the story.
EYE-CATCHING (3/3) - Is the title interesting? does it hook a reader's attention right away.
It's actually pretty interesting to me as it came off as a mystery fic.
original (4/4) - is it a too common, cliche, or vague title or is it new and refreshing?
I haven't seen a fic with this title before so it's pretty original.
story's foreword/description (10/10)
story's summary (5/5) - how intridguing is the description? does it lure in readers at first sight?
It does lure in readers in first sight because a ghost detective is always fun to read about as long as it is the reader's cup of tea.
appearance (5/5) - How organize and nice it appears versus how messy and unorganize it is.
It wasn't confusing as it had a simple layout.
characters/casts (8/10)
character development (3/5) - From beginning to ending, have any of the characters changed due to events, etc.
Maybe because it isn't a completed story yet, none of the characters seem to have significant character changes so chaacter development is not really shown yet.
character's relations (5/5) - Are the character's interactions realistic or believable.
The characters' interactions were realistic and could be seen in everyday situations. For example, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Kai and Kyungsoo goofing around when they were in college.
the author's mindset (29/40)
LOGICALLY (6/10) - HOW MUCH OF THE STORY ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE? OR IS RELATABLE?
The story seems a little far fetched. For example, Jongin dying and becoming Kyungsoo's guardian angel. This was a sweet thing but it's a very fairytale scene. Another one is that Kyungsoo's statements obtained from ghosts are admissible in court. This is unrealstic as it would never be admissible and they would have to depend on other live witnesses or the criminal's confession.
ORIGINALITY (8/10) - IS THE STORYLINE TOO CLICHE OR IS IT NEW?
It is a pretty cliche plot and has been used a number of times.
TONE (3/5) - DID THE AUTHOR USE THEIR OWN VOICE? DID THEY THOUGHT ABOUT THE PURPOSE OF THEIR VOICE?
There is still a lack of tone but the story isn't completed so maybe the author will eventually develop their own voice.
NARRATION (5/5) - WHAT POV(S) ARE/IS BEING USED? AND DOES THE STYLE DISTRACT READERS FROM THE STORY'S CONTENTS ITSELF.
The story is written from a third POV through multiple people's perspective and it was constant throughout the whole story.
STORYLINE (7/10) - ALL IN ALL, HOW WAS THE STORY'S PLOT AND STORYLINE. DID IT HAVE A PLOT? ANY MORALS? DID IT TEACH THE READERS ANYTHING? AND WAS IT SMOOTH OR ROUGH?
The storyline is inriguing but it's just starting to develop so I'm definitely following this fic.
proper use of the english language (UNGRADED)
THE AUTHOR HAS REQUESTED THAT THEY WANTED THE STORY TO BE JUDGED ON THE STORYLINE INSTEAD OF GRAMMAR. There was actually a fatal mistake in chapter 19. Instead of "deceased' the author used "Decreased"
Reviewer's enjoyment (3/5)
There were still some grammar errors and the story's just starting to develop so there isn't much enjoyment yet.
A Little note from me
The story was actually pretty interesting to me because I always love mystery fics. I hope kyungsoo and Jongdae are successful in catching 'Phantom' I also hope that you found the review hopeful despite the amount of time that has passed after your submission ><. good luck on your story^^
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