Everyone’s staring at me. They’re a little bit scared about what I’m going to reveal and what not. I know every single thought of them, even now I can sense the nervousness. They’re becoming overstrained and avoiding each other’s eyes, only focusing on me. I’m taking the tissue out of Changmin’s hand and treating my wound on my own. I don’t need him to be nice towards me. I know exactly why he’s doing it. He’s pitying me. He’s sorry about me falling for him. Tsk. To be honest, it’s kinda cool that I’m aware of everything considering them, yet they’ll never be able to know what I’m thinking. Junsu’s still trying hard to hold back his tears. He’s shocked about Yoochun’s condition. I told him earlier, when Jaejoong left me alone. I went to him and informed him about everything considering Yoochun’s condition. I’m sick of them hiding important information, their feelings and all the things. It’s becoming unbearable… I’m really tired of all my cuts and bruises. I’m sick of them hurting each other! Yunho’s gulping and waiting for me to speak. Jaejoong seems really nervous too. I know exactly why. And then there’s Yoochun… I’m not sure if I should reveal his thoughts… It could mess up everything…

“Anyone wants to go first?”, I’m asking them, but none of them seem confident enough, “Ok… then…”

“I… I want to say something!”, Junsu’s suddenly interrupting me, because he’s afraid that I’m to start talking about him.

Huh, I’ve to admit that this’s real funny. I’d get used to this. I should do this more often! I’m nodding at Junsu, signaling him to go on.

“Well… I… I’m… I’m sorry Changmin…”, he’s saying hesitantly, “I just don’t get it, why you’d like me. I mean… you backstabbed me, us, and we haven’t seen each other for years… So, what made you like me?”

Uh… I see, he’s trying to distract himself from Yoochun’s condition. I’ll let him pass, but I’ll come back to this topic as soon as this’s cleared. I’m glancing briefly at Changmin, and I can’t help but feel bad. He’s the only one I don’t want to push for anything… But I’m not to give preference to him. Everyone’s equal for me, everyone has to be… Still…

“It’s simply love.”, Changmin’s admitting with a rough voice, “There’s no proper reason, it’s love. I can’t change it. My heart chose you… That’s it.”

Junsu’s nodding, not really satisfied with the answer. Then Yoochun’s butting in.

“To be honest… I… I kinda was shocked hearing that…”, he’s saying.

Wait… is he really going to admit? Yeah, he’s, but I see... not all of it.

“I always thought that I’d end up with you…”, Yoochun’s briefly glancing at Junsu to check up on his reaction and then back at Changmin, “If we didn’t separate… probably you and I…”

He isn’t continuing, as Junsu’s growling silently. Changmin’s staring at Yoochun for few seconds to realize what he’s told. His unequal eyes are becoming bigger as he finally gets it. He’s then immediately lifting his hands and wagging them in the air.

“No… No, no, no!”, he’s assessing, “You’re like a brother to me… like a best friend…”

Yoochun’s nodding with a smile on his face and shrugging, before grabbing Junsu’s waist and pulling him closer to show the maknae, that he’s into the duckbutt anyway. Changmin’s briefly tensing his nostrils yet remaining calm. He’s just looking elsewhere. Wait… he’s looking at me. What’s this? Why’s he glancing at me right now? No way! He wants me to reveal Yoochun’s real thoughts… Not now, bro. Not now. I’m turning towards Yunho and clenching my lips, while lifting my brows. It’s his turn now. Go on, boy! No holding back!

“Uh… uh… I…”, he’s stuttering, “I don’t know what to admit…”

Jaejoong’s interlocking their fingers and shyly looking at him. Then he’s plucking up all his courage to talk first.

“Yunho… have you ever thought of Yujin… as a woman…?”, he’s asking him.

The term he uses is just… meh. Go on and ask him if he ever imagined her . If he ever wanted to do it with her. I know that’s the question, popping up in his mind. Yunho’s shaking his head and that’s when I’m interrupting immediately.

“Liar!”, I’m assessing, “When you both kissed, your body wanted her. Kim, your beloved one’s going to do it with her, if she’s to ask him for it. Believe me, he’s a little bit insecure who to choose, when it comes to this. Either you show him what you’ve got, or he’ll get it from Yujin, if she’s to attempt.”

Jaejoong’s instantly loosening their grip and pushing off Yunho in disappointment.

“Ugh! Don’t lie to me!”, he’s yelling at the leader and crossing his arms while pouting.

Yunho’s reaching his hands out for him and caressing his arms in sorrow.

“I… I’m confused…”, he’s admitting sadly, “I really don’t know… I’m the worst… I’m sorry… But with all the pressure and all the things happening…, I’m really losing the survey…”

Jaejoong’s still pouting and glancing at me. He’s asking me, if I’m happy now that I made them bring this all up. Yeah, they’re all a bit confused, still… this’s to be.

“Yunho…”, Yoochun’s opening up to him, “I’m sorry about the punch earlier… but you deserved it. All I want to know… why did you push Jaejoong? You forced him… that’s not like you at all… So, was it, because you want to clear up your heart about Yujin and Jaejoong?”

Woohoo… that’s a good one! I’m lifting my brow, as I’m really curious about his answer. Before he’s to speak it out, I’m frowning at him, signaling him to be honest, otherwise I’m to interrupt again. Yunho’s sighing and scratching his arm.

“I… I’m a bit sad, that every time Jaejoongie and I come closer… hella closer, something’s popping up and distracting us. In the kitchen it was the old commander, in the ordnance depot it was the night watchman and the same commander, in the showers it was Chunnie, last time it was the tattoos… Ok that time, it was my jealousy… But today… it’s Junsu and Changmin…”, he’s explaining honestly, “And with Yujin’s kiss… where no one interfered, except Cassiopeia’s scream, I thought… that it’d be a lot easier to be together with her and live without any hardships…”

Jaejoong’s becoming sadder and lowering his gaze, as Yunho’s continuing with his true feelings.

“I really wanted it tonight… and everything went well, until Junsu turned the lights on and woke up Changmin…”, he’s adding disappointedly, “I really want you to know every spot of my… body…”

He’s blushing at his last words and biting his lower lip in shame. He’s remembering the moment when he jerked Jaejoong off. Jaejoong too. He’s instantly covering his face with his hands and turning away to face the wall. To hide his emotions from his friends. Oh no… this’s making me feel the same as they do! Ugh! No, Yunho’s slightly becoming again… He’s sneakily picking up the blanket of his bed and covering his whole body, to make it less obvious, yet he fails. Man, they need to do it, so he won’t become like this so easily… They’re both really longing for it, yet they can’t… Changmin’s starting to laugh at me, as he’s noticing my blushed face. Damn it! It’s so embarrassing! Yoochun’s just observing all of them, slightly grinning and coughing once. Junsu’s tilting his head and apologizing to the leader. Yeah, the duckbutt is always been the one making things either worse, or obvious even when it’s not. He’s been the one living in a different world, at least I feel like it. He’s the one dozing off or being mobbed all the time. I feel a bit sorry for him… Yet it doesn’t seem to bother him a lot, so I guess he’s fine with it, somehow. Yunho’s understanding and nodding. He’s still aware of his actions being wrong. Yoochun’s taking place on his bed and breathing heavily again, before starting to cough enormously. He’s really overstrained. I shouldn’t tell on him for now…

“What about me?”, Changmin’s asking Yunho curiously, his expression’s serious, “Why didn’t you think of my emotions? Uknow what happened to me… Can’t you be less around me? Can’t you stop being on top of Jaejoong when I’m around?”

Yunho’s gulping and I see his regretful thoughts. He’s sorry about making Changmin suffer again and again. He’s then walking up to his mem