Jaejoong’s wearing a black tank top. And his body has the perfect proportions. His skin is milky, clean, and shiny. And I can smell his body cream, which he used after the shower. I’m patting his back and then pushing him a bit away so we can look into each other’s eyes again. Looking at him makes me feel good. I feel home when he’s besides me. When I’m besides him.

“Is Yoochun outside?”, he’s suddenly asking me and turning around to the door.

I’m observing his back from top to toe. He’s looking great! That body of his is making me drool. Damn it!

I can see his tattoos. “TVfXQ SOUL” … how long has it been since he got it, with Yoochun by his side? I believe it was in Vegas. Parts of his wing tattoos also can be seen. I’m putting my fingers softly on his neck, touching his tattoos and slowly down his spine. My touch must have electrified him since he’s wincing briefly and turning towards me abruptly.

“Uhm…”, he’s stuttering and gulping, “What… what…”

His words won’t come out. I can’t help but smile. If he had his long hair, I’d definitely them too. But I don’t need his long hair. I can touch his cheeks, his arms, his waist…

“Yunho… I talked weird stuff, when I was high… but I meant it.”, he’s nervously admitting, holding my hands tightly and shaking them shyly.

I’m grinning and touching his cheek while turning my face to the side and covering my smile with my other hand. I feel so happy. My heart feels eased. I’m in love. In love with that beautiful person.

“Jaejoongie… I’m happy that you actually remember what you said…”, I’m telling him, pulling him over and pressing him to me, “I’ll do all I can to protect you, protect us.”

He’s smiling shyly at me, closing his eyes, and nodding cutely. I can’t hold back any longer and kiss him right away. As our lips touch, this time us both willingly, I can feel my heartbeat rising to another level. This is what people call happiness. To be with the person, you’re in love with. Not to fear what’s probably ahead. I’m tightening my hug and we both need to gasp for air, but we can still continue.

As we’re about to get going, suddenly I can hear Yoochun’s knocking on the door. As he told me before, twice. I’m abruptly pushing away Jaejoong and looking for a place to hide. Wait… no! I don’t want to fear. Whatever it is, I’ll face it!

“What’s it?”, Jaejoong’s asking me confused.

I’m gripping his hand tightly and facing the door bravely. We’ll go through this together. We’ll stay strong!

Then the treatment room’s door opens wide and the persons walking in are non-other than my manager and Changmin. Seeing my fellow looking at me disappointed makes me feel confused and insecure. My manager’s expression is horrific. Jaejoong’s tightening his grip and making a step forward. Changmin… why?

Yoochun’s entering the room too and looking at us apologetic. It’s not his fault. He did his best. He’s closing the door and staying behind my manager and Changmin.

We’re looking into each other’s eyes. Me and Changmin. He’s glancing at Jaejoong and my hand. We’re tightening our grips as we don’t want to show them any weakness. My manager’s breathing in heavily and shaking his head. He’s crossing his arms and walking towards me. He’s standing in front of me and suddenly pulling me with all his strength away from Jaejoong. I’m unwillingly loosening my grip, so I won’t hurt Jaejoongie.

“Yunho, stop this nonsense and let’s go.”, he’s telling me and trying to drag me out of the treatment room.

I’m trying to escape his grip and shaking my head. My heartbeat is rising. I’m nervous. Afraid. I don’t want to leave Jaejoong. Not now. Never.

“I… I don’t…”, I’m resisting, but suddenly Changmin’s interrupting me.

“Let’s talk first!”, he’s shouting at me, gripping my arm and pulling me out of the room.

Yoochun’s walking out of our way and hurrying towards Jaejoong. I’m looking at my beloved one. He seems sad. I can spot tears in his beautiful eyes, which are focused on me. He’s shaking. He is afraid. Afraid, that something worse could happen to me. My poor Jaejoongie. I’m so sorry to make you worry all the time…

Yoochun’s hugging him. That’s the last thing I can see before my manager shuts the door behind him.

We’re standing outside now. In the great hallway. I can hear Jaejoong sobbing and Yoochun whispering something. I’m grateful that Yoochun’s beside him now. At least there’s someone to comfort Jaejoong.

“Yunho…”, my manager’s talking to me and putting his hand on my shoulder, “Stop this before everyone knows. Only I, Changmin and Heechul know about this. So… common, cut it!”

My heartbeat won’t calm, my mind won’t ease, my feelings won’t become better. I need Jaejoong! I need him. He’s the one who calms me down, makes me feel great and puts a smile on my face. He’s the one making me feel free. I can breathe without anything bothering me.

Changmin’s looking at me with an evil glance, before he’s turning away and avoiding my eyes. This is making me feel horrible. I can’t. I really can’t take this. I want him back…, back as my friend!

“Ugh… manager.”, he’s suddenly talking to our manager without looking at us, “Yunho must be very confused. It’s because of the army I believe. Please forgive his actions.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’m instantly shaking off the manager’s hand, walking up to Changmin, gripping his shoulders and turning him towards me. I can’t hold back anymore. I’m angrily looking into his eyes and slapping his cute cheek.

He’s not wincing, only looking at me emotionless. I can hear the slap reverberating in the whole hallway. What did I do? How could I…? I hurt him. I hurt my fellow. My friend. Changmin… I feel so sorry.

He’s briefly tautening his nostrils and clenching his fists as he turns away and walks up to the manager.

“I’m leaving now.”, he’s telling him and walking away.

I’m watching him leave silently. I can’t call him back. Our manager is looking at me in shock. I believe he’s pretty mad at me now and probably really disappointed.

“Yunho, what’s wrong with you?”, he’s asking me, but to be honest, I don’t have ears for him now.

I need to hurry and catch up with Changmin. I need to apologize! I have to! I’m dashing after Changmin and leaving our manager behind. He’s calling for me twice but I’m ignoring him.

“Changmin! Wait!”, I’m shouting out of breath.

He’s not standing still, but simply continuing to leave. He’s ignoring my calls. Can’t blame him at all. I slapped him. I’m the worst!

“Yah! Stop!”, I’m ordering and stopping to run, since I’m out of breath and my side is aching.

I’m bending, putting my hands on my knees, and breathing in deeply, before I’m shouting one last time.

“I’m sorry Shim Changmin!”, I’m calling out and looking to the floor.

I can’t look up. I feel so tired. I need to exercise hella lot. I feel powerless. Weak.

I’m hearing footsteps coming towards me and someone putting hi