“Hello, Aerin,” Jongin said as he tried to pull a smile. His voice came out hoarser than he thought it would be. Jongin took a step forward to close the distance between them. But Jongin saw the girl shook her head. Jongin noticed that the little sister started shaking. Her bag fell down on the floor as soon as she squatted down. She placed her hands pressing them on her ears, as if trying to block any sound from coming in.

“No… no…” She muttered.

“Ae—“

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” She screamed, and Jongin couldn’t do anything but taking some steps back, looking really startled.

“Oppa it’s my fault. I know it’s my fault. I didn’t know it would happen. I didn’t know the accident would happen. I didn’t kill mom and dad, Oppa forgive me, forgive me!” Aerin screamed.

Jongin came closer and hugged the squatting girl. Tears were pooling on his eyes as he watched the scene in front of his eyes. The scene that mostly happened just inside his head was now happening in reality. “Aerin, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, Sweetie. I understand.” Jongin tried to rub her back, but the girl kept wriggling, trying to escape from the hug.

Aerin’s breath was now raging, and she turned her head trying to avoid Jongin’s face. “Who are you? You’re not my Jongin oppa.” She whispered, and Jongin couldn’t help but hurt at her words. “He hates me.” She started to scream. “He would never come to see me. Go away. Who are you? Go away!” Aerin screamed and pushed the man, hitting his chest as best as she could. When Jongin loosened the hug, she escaped from him and ran to the corner of her room. The girl slumped down on the floor, pulling her knees up and circling her arms around her legs, hugging herself. She was crying and kept muttering the same words.

Junmyeon and the nurse barged inside literally after he heard the scream. The man pulled Jongin who was still trying to get closer to her, while the maid came to the girl. Junmyeon squatted down in front of her and gently held her face. “Aerin, it’s me. Junmyeon oppa.” She shook her head, trying to cover her ears with her hands. “Aerin!” Junmyeon shook her shoulder but now a bit harder, trying to get her attention.

Aerin looked at him in the eyes for some seconds, and then she cried. She quickly lunged into him and circled her arms around his neck, hugging him when she recognized who he was. She cried and cried on his shoulder. The nurse took the chance to quietly inject the sedation to her veins. Junmyeon could only rub her back, whispering on her ears saying that everything was going to be okay.

Jongin remained standing far from them, watching as she got more relax after the injection and slowly falling asleep. Junmyeon carefully brought her to the bed and laid her down. The man pulled the duvet covering her before he sat down beside the little sister. Gently, Junmyeon pushed her bangs to the side and wiped the sweat on her forehead. Jongin was still watching them from the centre of the room. He witnessed it with his own eyes now. His sister was scared of him. And he really didn’t know it would hurt him this much.

The doctor came around half an hour after they put her to sleep. She did several checks on her and talked to Junmyeon who was still there. Junmyeon then brought and introduced her to Jongin. Park Yoora, the doctor, greeted the brother, giving out her hand for a handshake.

“So you’re the brother she has been talking about.” Yoora smiled at him. It’s actually the first time they met.

“Y—yeah, I am.” Jongin answered her, feeling a bit uncomfortable because he knew she might not see him in a good light. “How is she?” Jongin asked, glancing at the sister who was sleeping.

“Not good to be honest.” She put her bag on her lap while shifting to sit comfortably after he politely asked her to sit. “Aerin surprisingly had a great progress. We had several check-ups and everything shown a gradual improvement. My brother also helped to keep her on track because they were together most of the time, so I knew exactly how her condition was.” She said. “But it isn’t really good lately. She barely had one scene in a month before, but I recorded the scene happened more than twice this week, and today made it thrice. Chanyeol said it happened yesterday because the bus she got in was involved in an accident, which was why she didn’t go home last night, right? We all know that the accident is the strongest trigger for her trauma, but with what happened today, I can conclude that you are also a trigger for the trauma.”

Jongin remained silent. He never knew. He never knew, and he never care that it was actually this bad. And the last sentence coming out from the doctor wasn’t even surprising him after all things he did to her.

“Your sudden appearance after a long time might bring her back to the last time you met her, which unfortunately was not good in her memory.”

“Doctor,” Yoora was surprised when Jongin reached out to her hands. “Tell me, tell me everything I can do to get her back. To get her heart back, please,” Jongin asked with a trembling voice, but his eyes were both full of hopes and despair at the same time.

“It will take time, but I’m sure you can.” Yoora smiled. “Approach her, be around her, tell her that you are here for her, show her your love, and most importantly, touch her heart lightly, because we don’t know how high the fence that she had built to protect her heart.” The doctor said. She obviously couldn’t hide how happy she was, knowing that the biggest source of her patient’s pain slowly started to care.

Jongin literally spent his time lying on the bed beside his little sister after everyone left. The man slipped under the blanket before pulling it up covering both of them. He remembered he did this a lot when she couldn’t sleep but their parents weren’t there because of their job. The little sister looked so peaceful in her sleep. Jongin carefully lifted her head and laid it back down on his arms before pulling her on a tight hug. He just stayed like that for a long time. Sometimes he looked at her face while caressing her hair. He wondered how long he would need to get her to be comfortable around him. Just like what the doctor said, she definitely could, but it surely would take time. There were a lot of things running inside his head, but he still hugged her, tight like he would never let go. Tears that he was struggling to hold these past hours finally made to slip out of his eyes. His fortress finally crumbled down with all the regrets that have been weighing him down all these years. Jongin cried for the whole night, whispering apologies which the little sister probably didn’t even hear.

“Oppa, are you there? Aerin wants bubble tea, let’s go buy some.” Aerin knocked on Jongin’s door softly. She waited and waited for the whole afternoon, but Jongin never came out from his room. “Jongin oppa,” Aerin started to cry, “Why won’t you play with me?” Her little hands were still knocking on his door. “Oppa,”

The knob suddenly turned and the door swung opened quietly, revealing Jongin who were standing with a pair of crutches. Aerin smiled widely upon the appearance of her big brother whom she never met after she was discharged from the hospital.

“Op—”

“Go away and never see me again!” Jongin shouted at her and slammed the door close. Aerin needed more time to process what did the older just say, and when it reached her brain, she ran to her own room with tears rolling down on her cheeks.

Their parents were aware about Jongin’s change of attitude. When they were still at the hospital, Jongin never once care to ask about the little sister’s condition. He spent his time reading the books that the parents brought for him. The parents were also noticed that he became quiet. The boy who was once really active, warm, and smiley, turned into a quiet one and blocked all the access to get to him. The mother had tried to talk to him but nothing’s really changed. He only talked when people ask. The parents couldn’t help but felt sad at this kind of change, but at the same time they couldn’t do anything.

Jongin broke his tibia shin bone which made him went through a major surgery. Once when the doctors came to check on him, he opened his mouth for the first time after he woke up, actually surprising his parents. And what he asked the doctors surprised the parents even more.

“Doctor, I can’t dance anymore, right?” The little Jongin asked.

The doctor only smiled at him, “Of course you can,” He ruffled the boy’s hair, but he didn’t buy it. “But you have to understand that we’re going to need a lot of treatment before you can dance again.” The doctor sat on the chair beside his bed and held little Jongin’s hand.

“You’re lying, Doctor.” Jongin pulled his hand away and hide under the blanket before pretending to be asleep.

It was all because of