Sometimes someone just didn’t know how to handle a bunch of different feelings they felt once at a time inside their heart. Happiness, flutters, excitement, but at the same time they were scared, and also worried too much over something that actually might not happen. Those were what Kim Jongin felt right at that moment as he reluctantly closing the car door and swung his legs inside his house. His heart skipped some beats as he shortened the distance between him and the little sister whom he wanted to see all this time.

Unfortunately, the fear won over him in the end. He was scared of himself. The urge to just stop there, running back to his car and be gone for a long time and never came back really crossed his mind, and it made his legs froze. Jongin was just steps away, but it really felt like he was miles away from her.

Would he have another chance? He couldn’t make sure of that.

And that was what made him finally stopped in front of her door, secretly hoping that all his fears would just fade away.

But it didn’t.

The man smiled to himself bitterly as he stopped knocking. He has been knocking the door for some minutes which already felt like an hour. His head was looking down, with his knuckles were still on the door, but they slowly losing its strength. He waited for a while, but yes, he never got any answer. She must have known that it was him because of the call. And he should have known that she would never open the door for him, because she was scared of him, because she was scared of a monster that was her own brother. The picture of the girl screaming when he was around, scared of his figure standing near her, slowly forming inside his head. And no, he didn’t have any intention to let it happen again.

Jongin smiled bitterly. Oh how stupid he was, thinking that he might have a chance to be forgiven. So this was it.

The brother almost left, but his step turned into a halt when he heard the door clicked open. Everything happened real fast and Jongin didn’t even know how. Jongin only heard footsteps. He hasn’t even got any chance to turn his body because of the fear that engulfed him. In just a blink, all he knew was that there’s a pair of arms circling around his waist. He looked down and saw those delicate fingers entwined with each other, as if stopping him from going away ever again.

His sister.

His sister was hugging him so tight from behind. He could feel warmth slowly creeping up. He could feel her cheek was pressed on his back. His legs suddenly felt like it lost all its strength.

Jongin was already used to carrying all those heavy weights around all this while, but this time, he suddenly felt like it was suddenly lifted off of his shoulder.

“Jongin Oppa…”

And just like that.

That was all he needed to finally let his guard down.

All his might crumbled down into pieces.

Jongin cried like he had never cried before.

Aerin knew very well how her decision could make her suffer. She totally understood how seeing the man might trigger her scene. But who would waste the chance? The girl never knew when he would come again, and she definitely wouldn’t let this rare one slide just like that. No matter what his intention was, she didn’t care. She made him scared once. He saw her when the scene was slowly eating her up, letting her other self, the monster she avoided at all cost, out from the dungeon. The hurt, fragile, and scared self that she always tried to hide from everyone, including Jongin. And Aerin really thought that he might never come again to see her.

The girl took a deep breath, and with her shaking hand, she gripped on the knob and turned it down.

She could see his back as he halted his steps when he heard the door opened. The shudder literally spread to her body like a fire. She gasped, but she tried to hold them. Please, please help me just this time, she pleaded to herself. Her breath went hard, but without thinking twice Aerin ran for her dear life. She ran and crashed her body on his, circling her hands around his waist, hugging him so tight after all these years of separation. She hugged him tight like she would never let him go anymore.

Aerin missed him.

Aerin missed her brother, very much.

Everything’s going to be okay… everything’s gonna be okay, she mumbled to herself.

Just when she thought her mind and body would cooperate, it didn’t. They betrayed and cheated on her and she started to shake when Jongin turned his body to hug her. Aerin gripped on his coat real tight. Her breath went even harder she almost choked.

“Are you okay, Aerin?” He asked, and Aerin could hear the concern in his voice.

The little sister only shook her head.

Seeing this, Jongin was in doubt. He didn’t want to let go, but at the same time he knew if he stay, he would make it even worse. Gently he loosened the hug. But he was about to take a step back, Aerin stopped him and hugged him even tighter.

“O—oppa… Oppa, please don’t… p—please don’t let go…”Aerin tried to talk to him in between her hard breath. “Fight with me…” She clutched her hand on his back, burying her face on her brother’s broad chest. “Help me…” She panted.

Jongin heard them right and he braced himself. Gently, Jongin lifted up her face and cupped her cheeks. They drowned in each other’s eyes for some seconds before she caught a sad smile on his face. “You know you can do it, Aerin.” Jongin drew a circle with his thumb. “I know you can fight it. I’ll always be here to catch you. Don’t be afraid.”

Aerin could see tears rolling down on her brother’s cheeks, and she brought her hand up to wipe them. “A—are you here,” She breathed, “to see me?”

The girl saw him chuckled. “Of course, baby.”

It’s really her brother. He was there to see her. He didn’t hate her. Her Jongin was smiling at her, wiping her tears, and hugging her tightly.

And it was real. It wasn’t just a dream like it usually was. Aerin tried to process everything in her brain, trying to fight her other self who had been telling her otherwise. She was still shaking, but she tried to fight it because she now knew that Jongin was there for her.

Jongin Oppa is here for me. He wouldn’t hug me like this just to hurt me. She kept repeating those words to her brain.

Jongin then slowly led her, bringing her back inside her room with his arms still draped over her shoulder. He sat her down on the edge of her bed and kneeled down in front of the girl. They exchanged a gaze. Aerin looked at him in the eyes while still trying to arrange her breath. She slowly circled her hands on his neck before her head fell on his shoulder as she sobbed.

She was sobbing on his shoulder, reminiscing the good old days she spent with this man. She cried because deep inside her heart, she still couldn’t believe that he was really there, and she was still afraid if at some point she would wake up and realise that this was only a dream.

“I miss you… I miss you, Aerin…” Jongin said, his voice was shaking Aerin could hint. His hands were on her back, engulfing her on a soothing hug.

“Why…” The little sister hit his chest. “Why did you leave me?” She hit his chest many times as she still sobbed on his shoulder. “Why did you leave…”

Jongin couldn’t answer her and just let her be. He knew he deserved it. He deserved more than just a punch on his chest.

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry…” Jongin said as he drew a circle on her back, trying to ease the pain that both of them were going through.

If this were a dream, Aerin swore she would do anything so that she wouldn’t wake up. She still couldn’t believe that they were there, Kim Aerin and Kim Jongin. The girl didn’t even dare to imagine being on her brother’s hug after all this time. She couldn’t even see him without her being tortured by her own trauma. But now all that she knew was nothing has really changed.

It was the same warmth that never failed to calm her whenever their Father scolded her. It was the same soothing hug he always gave whenever she fell down when they were playing hide and seek. It was just his chest felt somehow broader, and his palm grew even wider.

“Mommy?”

The mother startled by a small voice coming from the door. She saw her teenage daughter peeking inside when the older was stuffing Jongin’s need into two big luggage. Aerin took some steps clo