The one in italic is the flashback in flashback. I'm sorry if it confuses you.

The one in blue is spoken in English.

...continuation of the previous chapter...

                “Who’s that?” I asked Minhwan, referring to a girl who was with Jonghoon Seonsaeng, looking all lovey-dovey towards each other. She might be older than him from the way she looked.

                “Oh, that’s Bichi noona, Jonghoon-hyung’s yeochin,” answered Minhwan. I just nodded to his reply as acknowledgement. It was around a week before their debut. The last day for them to play around – said their manager, Hee Yul Oppa. He’s pretty nice, and the most important thing was, he let me to hang out at their dorm. That made me loves him more. [Yeochin (yeoja chingu) - Girlfriend]

                “Well, she does look y,” I muttered lowly. However, Jaejin’s sensitive ears caught what I said earlier.

                “Jonghoon-hyung would kill you, if he hears that.” Jaejin was still tuning his bass the whole time he said that. I gulped in horror, but self-calmed myself afterwards.

                “It’s not that he’ll understand, anyway,” I said, laughing cheekily. Jaejin accidently laughed out loud at my reply, drawing stares from the others.

                “Waeyo?” asked Jonghoon Seonsaeng, annoyed that we disturbed his date.

                “Aniyo. Just go on with your date,” I answered, before Jaejin got to say anything.

*****

                That was the first time I met Bichi-ssi as Jonghoon’s girlfriend. A month after their debut, she broke up with him, saying that he’s too busy, didn’t get to spent time with her. My reaction that time was – ‘he didn’t even get to meet his parent yet, for God’s sake!’ Four months after that, they reconciled. The reason; I don’t know. And the cycle will continuously be like that with Jonghoon Seonsaeng not dating anyone in the intervals. Since I was still young at that time, I would regard his action as stupid. But now, I’m more matured, I realised, it’s still an act of idiocy. I mean, I know, first love was just so hard to forget, but come on, not even after all these years, right?

                I glanced at Jonghoon Seonsaeng whom I assumed did not notice my presence there. I went to the kitchen, and pulled out a tray, before placing some dishes and a bowl of rice on it. Also, I took a glass of the iced lemon tea with me. The rest looked at me puzzlingly – I just ignored the looks that they gave me and walked back to Jonghoon Seonsaeng’s room. I pushed the door roughly to get his attention, before dragging myself into the room. I succeeded when I saw his eyes gaze to the doorway. I put the food tray on his study table which was next to his bed before settled myself on his bed, facing him.

                “Seonsaengnim, don’t you want to have some dinner? I cooked specially for you boys tonight,” I spoke softly to him. He changed his position from hugging his knees to sitting cross-legged, with his head still down.

                “I don’t feel like eating,” he muttered under his breath.

                “Ouch! That hurts,” I joked. But, seeing how he did not reply me, made me think back – was that even a joke?  I decided to break the gloomy mood around us.

                “Seonsaengnim, I know you love her so much. We all could see that,” I said, placing a hand on his thigh.

                “Then why can’t she see it too?” He asked me back, on the verge of…crying?

                “Maybe one day, she will. Or it’s just that she’s not meant for you.”

                “But, I love her so much. For eight years, Taera. For eight years, I’ve loved her. She’s the only girl to fill my school days up till I’ve debuted and become an artist. How can I ever forget her – my first love?” He took me in his arm, looking for comfort – just like I’ve always done before. My hand reached to his head, patting it slowly. I could feel the blouse I wore were soaked with his tears. I hold back my tears which were threatening to fall.

                To tell you the truth, it’s not easy to see him that way – crying for another woman, when he’s the one I love, yet he couldn’t see me who has always by his side all along. Just who am I actually in his eyes? A sister? A friend? Or just somebody who have messed up with his life? My heart clenched, making me hard to breath. I tried hard not to break down in front of him. I’ll never let him know my feelings towards him – this feeling that I myself don’t know had dwell in me. Because I know, he can’t never ever acknowledge my feelings when his love towards Bichi-ssi is mountain-high.

                After a while, his sobs started to stop. But we stayed in that position for a while, him trying to look for comfort, while I was just treasuring this very time, not knowing when would I be able to hold him like this again. Later, he let go off me, but get a hold of both of my arms. He smiled a bit – a radiant-less smile.

                “Thank you very much, Taera. You’ve always be by my side all this while; high or low, you’d always be there. I’m just so grateful to have a friend like you. I’m sorry to soak your blouse with my tears,” he said, chuckling. His words sound like lightning to my ears. A friend? So, I’m that, huh?

                “Hey! Don’t ever mention that anymore. What are friends for, ayy?” I said, faking a smile all the time. He just smiled at my statement.

                “Thank you again. Just let me know if there’s anything bothering you in future, okay?” he said, messed with my hair. I just pouted when he did that to my ‘crown’. I hastily fixed it back.

                “Sure! But don’t complain if I ever ask for your help next time, arasso?” I got up from his bed. I felt his gaze followed me to his study table.

                “Arasso!” he replied cheerily. I don’t know whether it’s genuine of faked. I took the food tray that was put on his study table before.

                “Seems like, I’ve to throw these away, then, since you don’t feel like eating. Goodnight!” I said, carrying the food tray with me to the exit. But he called after me after I took one single step.

                “Taera!” I stopped in the middle of my track before I turned to face him.

                “Yes?” I asked him with questioning eyes.

                “Don’t throw the food away, I’ll eat them,” he said. He somehow looked hungry.

*****

                I entered Jaejin’s room once I done washing the dishes used by Jonghoon Seonsaeng. The boys had washed dishes that were used during dinner before. I’m suspecting Minhwan or Seunghyun or maybe both of them. It can’t be Jaejin since he just loves to bully those two maknaes. Jaejin was sitting on the bed with his back leaning on the backboard, reading. I lied on the bed by his side and started to play games in his phone. It was silence between us.

                “Did he eat?” asked Jaejin suddenly, putting the quietude to an end.

                “Yep!” I answered shortly. It turned quiet again between us. After a while, I decided to say something.

                “Jaejin-ah, I just don’t get it. How can a person love someone that much? I mean like, after all those heartbreaks that she had caused him, how can he still love her so dearly? It doesn’t seem like love anymore, but more to obsession. He’s too obsessed that he’s blinded by her. Blinded to see anybody who might love him as much as he loves her,” I ranted to Jaejin.

                “Like you?” uttered Jaejin all of sudden. I looked away from the phone screen to Jaejin’s face. He’s still reading his book. He can’t be talking to his self about the book right?

                “Huh?” He looked at me straight on the eyes.

                “You mean; he’s blinded to see anybody who might love him as much as he loves her – like you?” My eyes rounded in disbelief hearing his words. I sat up from my laying position and faced him.

                “What do you mean by that? I don’t love him,” I rebut back. There’s no way he could know about my feelings.

                “Taera, you can lie to anybody but me,” he said, looking me straight in the eyes again. We had some kind of staring competition for a while until I gave in when my phone rang.

                “Yeoboseyo?...Ne, appa…Okay, I’ll be there in short.” I ended my phone call briefly. I looked at Jaejin again.

                “What did Appa said?” he asked.

                “He asked me to be home early, he said he has something to tell, So, I’ll get going now, I guess? It’s almost nine already,” I said to him. He just nodded his head a bit before waved to me as I made my way out of his room.

[End of Flashback]

*****

                Bichi-ssi had just left a while ago, leaving me to absorb the news that she had just delivered. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. I thought I’ve prepared myself well all this time I’m married to Jonghoon, to not be affected by this news. I do not restrain myself from telling him how much I love him just to feel this way at the end. How silly I am; I almost fall for his words. I should have been wiser.

                Well, to be frank, I knew this will happen one day, but I didn’t expect it to be this soon. 

A/N: Another update for you guys! Not exactly a double update, more to splitting up a chapter into two. I just can't bear reading a super duper long boring chapter, so I don't want my readers to feel the same too. Or, do you prefer a super duper long chapter, unsplitted?

Tell me your thoughts! Oh, and btw, Bichi means light. Me and my dongsaeng thought of it XD

Love, ChocoBun.

Extra! The royalties! Don't you think they look gorgeous in Prince attire?