Mingyu remembered everything. He did. Even if his memory failed him, he had all his memories written down somewhere in his journal. Maybe that was why it hurted a little bit more. 

His favourite part had always been being with Wonwoo, that was no doubt. How they got closer. But the part that he remembered the most was when they got apart. Until, Mingyu just couldn't get to hold him anymore. Well, he was never Mingyu's. Mingyu was still wondering, why. Why hadn't he and Wonwoo ever been together. Why Wonwoo was never his. They were so close, just not together. 

Mingyu remembered when Wonwoo told him about his dream wedding. He had wanted a winter wedding with fluffy clothes and earmuffs. Mingyu had laughed at him then. "No one wants winter wedding, hyung. it's too cold."

Mingyu sighed. He felt a bit light headed from all the drinks. Winter wedding wasn't so bad. 

He didn't want to remember that, though.. 

Still, he could see Wonwoo's smile clearly a week later. He could still feel his touch in his shoulder. He could still hear him say "thank you". He didn't want this. He didn't understand how loving someone could be this painful. He wanted to stop. 

He thought he could. 

Still, a month later, when Wonwoo got back from his honeymoon, he felt the clench in his heart when Wonwoo's hand, now adorned with a wedding ring, held his. He had held that hand since it was so small,