REVIEW PICKUP: bts_kimtaehyung

Title: 4/5

The title intrigues the reader with something unique and unexpected. From the title I could assume that the story probably has an extremely cold lead or both of the characters are somewhat impaired. It is able to capture the readers’ imagination and attempt to formulate the contents of the story.

Description: 4/5

You did a great job giving hints about the story without over-exposing it. The only thing that bothered me was the repeated line, "Where you could smile and have good times with him?" Was it intended or a grammatical mistake? Either way, the description had the necessary points to compel the reader to go further.  

Vocabulary: 8/10

The story uses simple words to convey the simplest of feelings, which counts as an attribute as you conducted it well.

Grammar: 5/10

The grammar is not exactly the best points of the story as there are very simple errors that can be overlooked but tend to stay as a remnant of the grammatical use.

For example: 

“You were the only one that I trusted. So why did you have to leave?”

“You’re just like the snow, gone once the seasons change.”

These are only a few of them but you get the gist, right?

But as per spelling, I didn't see any mistakes.

Plot: 8/10

Even though I expecting a little more on Yoo Jungs' past like how she was adopted, the plot was well constructed even by the first chapter. The common mistake in writing stories is spilling points and plots all over the place. Luckily, you have constructed the plot very firmly and consistently, it's easy to say even if it's only the first chapter. Great job at that. 

Effect on reader: 9/10

Even from the beginning the reader feels a sort of compassion towards the main character,Kim Yoo Jung, and later grows attached to the storyline in due course of time. 

Flow:  9/10

The slow is smooth and well handled. It was just right and it wasn't rushed at all. Great job!!

Overall: 85/100

Overall, the work of fiction was well constructed and had the capability to make me question "What if?" all throughout the forward which compels me to read more and discover this beautifully mysterious character that is Kim Yoo Jung. It is absolutely beautiful and you deserve every credit that you ever get by it. I truly loved it!! Waiting for an update~

REVIEWER: TheSparliestVampire
FINISHED ON: 4th July 2014
Reviews are not meant to insult so please don't take our reviews too harshly! This is only from one's point of view.

You can read her story here!