Review pickup: Miro-chan

Title: 4/5 It is a title that captures my attention.

Description: 4/5

Vocabulary: 7/10 I liked the blob of brown sentence!

Grammar: 8/10 There were a few mistakes, like 'Seohyun whined, "Just stop screaming, you guys! It's both of your faults, since both of you stayed up to play football!" whined Seohyun.' the phrase about Seohyun whining was repititive. Also a punctuation missing in the blob of brown sentence, in between 'blank canvas' and 'every detail'. Other than that, your grammar is about perfect!

Plot: 7/10 I couldn't see much of the plot in this story since it was only a oneshot. But if you developed it more, it probably will get better because I can sense the mysterious feeling that this story gives off, therefore it's pretty good. I like how Suzy sounds like she's trapped, so the plot is pretty nice! The rose painting was creepy but I like creepy stuff (cackles) so I liked it! I would love to see this oneshot become a story, sounds interesting!

Effect on reader: 8/10 As I said, I like creepy stuff and this story is really mysterious, so the vibe I got from this oneshot was great!

Flow: 8/10 

Overall: 80/100 I liked this oneshot, it was written pretty well and your vocabulary was good enough to make the story look more interesting. Of course, your grammar was really good too so that's another plus! All in all, it is a story worth reading and like I mentioned, it would definitely be interesting if it was developed into a story.

REVIEWER: kaepie

REVIEW FINISHED ON: 06/16/2014

Reviews are not meant to insult so please don't take our reviews too harshly! This is only from one's point of view.

You can read her story here!