REVIEW PICKUP: Myungsoo-bun

Title: 3/5 You Don't Love Me. You Never Did. Sounds sappy. Sorry to say

Description: 4/5  i thoroughly enjoyed how naive you made Sura by only using some simple words and actions to bring out this particular trait. Same goes for how sorry you made Chanyeol with some simple actions. Although it was a mere simple scene, I find that part where Chanyeol left the cafe quite captivating as it truly brings out his regrets towards Sura. And how gutsy he was to text Sura back despite playing with her feelings, that was class. Sometimes, simple words and ideas can bring out the persona's character well.

Vocabulary: 7.5/10 The vocabulary wasn't really attractive, but at least, it was simple and precise for the reader to understand.

Plot: 8.5/10    The exposition was extraordinary. It's not morally right to be even dating several guys at once, but I like how you opted not to stick with the conventions. The start of the story was intriguing, and it was alluring with how naive you made Sura and how y you made Hyemi. However, the realization part was rather tedious and sappy to begin with. After the unnecessary Chapter 5, the entire plot just starts going downhill. I mean, if you breakdown the entire story, the of the story wasn't really visible to the reader. For me, the was when Chanyeol finally comes to his senses and realizes that Hyemi was playing him all along. The plot just begins to recede after that, you really should do something about that.

Effect on reader: 7/10 I'm not sure why you chose the only guy in this review shop to review your story when there are several other girls who love EXO in here. This is my 8th fanfic about EXO in 10 and to be honest it's getting ridiculous reading about EXO every time. However, setting aside my prejudices and biased views, the story was still intriguing at the beginning. I was compelled at first by how morally wrong it was for Chanyeol to date a girl in front of his girlfriend and live i. The same house with both of them. But as the story continued, the feelings just disappear and the story just gets tedious. My feelings are not particularly strong for this one, but to be frank, I keep my hopes up by telling myself that the characters in this story are Sura(Yura) and Hyeri from Girls' Day, and that Hyemi girl is from Nine Muses. Well, that may have been too much information.

Overall: 80/100 The story was long, but simple to understand. I particularly enjoyed the part where you called Hyemi a 'gold-digger' as it was spot-on. Though, i would like to reiterate that the story was really going down after the relatively intriguing start. I can see that you know exactly where you are heading with this story, but the idea just see,s to recede with every chapter. A major plot twist may just put the entire plot back to life, e.g some tension and a few brawls between Sehun and Chanyeol, Hyeri and Sura having a conflict over Chanyeol, or even Sura returning to Chanyeol. Just some of my suggestions there. The possibilities for a plot twist are endless, but in order to intrigue  the plot twist should come in abruptly instead of taking 3 long chapters to explain it.

REVIEWER: Yoon_hyunseokkkk

REVIEW FINISHED ON: 060714

Reviews are not meant to insult so please don't take our reviews too harshly! This is only from one's point of view.

You can read her story here!