REVIEW PICKUP: b2utifulstarlite

Title: 3/5 The first time I saw this title, my first thought went to the SHINee song 'Boy Meets Girl' which is another name for 'Romeo and Juliet' haha. And since that's like my favourite song of SHINee's, I liked the first part of the title too. For the second part of your title, 'Girl Hurts Boy', I felt that it was very... cringe-worthy. It gives off the very cliche kind of feeling, and it also made me have the impression that the girl was a little snobbish or something. But I dare say this title is quite interesting and it pulled me in, and although I don't see the link between the second part of the title and your story yet, I'm guessing it will show up in the later part of the story.

Description: 2/5 Your description was very very vague. You started off by telling me about Seoul, but if I really wanted to know about Seoul's statistics, I would've Googled it. The only sentence that actually was in connection with the whole story was the last sentence 'And this is the story of how two people met and fell in love.' And even that was vague. The reader would only know that the story is about how two people met and fell in love in Seoul, and there is nothing attractive about that. To me, anyway. If I were to look at your description alone, I wouldn't have read on because nothing told me how this story is going to be unique and different from the many other stories out there. I recommend you put a few elements of your story or at least explain a little about Yongguk and Hyuna to make readers more interested from your description.

Vocabulary: 8/10 I think your vocabulary was just right for me. Your words weren't very simple but yet easy to comprehend, and that made the whole story more enjoyable.

Grammar: 9.5/10 This has got to be one of the stories with the best grammar I've reviewed so far! I didn't spot any grammar mistakes except for two to three, and that made me really happy because it was really nice to read through your story without cringing at the grammar mistakes. Well done! Here are the two mistakes I found:

From Chapter 2:

"His dream of sleeping till his alarm went off gone."

C: "His dream of sleeping till his alarm went off was now gone."

"It didn't help that the boys had charmed over the bride-t-be (bride-to-be) as well a few of the other girls, laughing and telling jokes and showing them a flyer"

Plot: 7/10 I can't really say it's original for the part where Hyuna meets Yongguk and she dislikes him from the start. Many stories show the same element- the guy is deeply interested in the girl but the girl doesn't like the guy, but still finds him a little attractive. However, I found the part where Yongguk is a dad quite interesting, as I've never read anything of the sort before. The way you portrayed Yongguk as a single dad was definitely unique, because frequently authors tend to write about single mums more than single dads.

Flow: 9/10 The flow was really quite impressive, your actions, thoughts and speech were well paced and it didn't felt too rushed or too slow in my opinion. It was just the perfect flow and it gave me quite the impression that I was reading off a published book, and that's pretty impressive! Your characters were also quite well developed, and since Hyuna's POV is in first person, I can see more of her character than all the other characters in the story.  

Effect on reader: 7/10 I think your story is definitely a good read. The way you described things were interesting and by the second to third chapter, I was hooked. I also felt kind of pissed off at how Hyuna's dad was behaving, and I went like 'wtf what's with him' haha. I'd say you did a good job!

Overall: 89/100