Taemintatee
Pie-licious Review Shop; CLOSED- FINISHING REQUESTS
REVIEW PICKUP: Taemintatee
Title: 5/5
Description: 4/5 I just think that Luhan didn’t really abandon Sehun. No one would’ve known that Sehun would die. Sehun did need Luhan by his side but Luhan didn’t abandon him. He left to visit his family.
Vocabulary: 8/10 You can describe more. How did each of them feel when they heard about grandfather’s death? I didn’t feel much depressing emotion.
Grammar: 10/10 There was just like one missing comma and two tense changes but it wouldn’t bother me that much.
Plot: 9/10 I liked how you connected grandfather’s death and Sehun’s death. In both situations, you couldn’t escape death.
Effect on reader: 8/10
Flow: 8/10 When you want to impact the readers, get straight to the point in your sentences. I noticed a lot of, “…, but…” You could just cut everything out and get straight to the part after the “but”. The extra words drag along.
Overall: 87/100
REVIEWER: Jindos21
REVIEW FINISHED ON: 06/28/2014
Reviews are not meant to insult so please don't take our reviews too harshly! This is only from one's point of view.
You can read her story here!
Comments