REVIEW PICKUP: imyourbestfriend24

Title: 2.5/5 The one word title looks classy but it did not attract me and I feel that it wasn't enough. It is also a very overused title, because I see a lot of other fanfictions with this title. However, it is in revelance to the story.

Description: 4/5 Even though the description was only one sentence, it told me so much, so good job! And the foreword too, was perfectly fine, although I feel that you could've elaborated more.

Vocabulary: 9/10 I think your vocabulary was used pretty well. Right words were used to describe sentences but I still feel you could've used more... dramatic, perhaps? phrases to describe how broken Eunji feels inside.

Grammar: 5/10 Right. I couldn't tell if your story was supposed to be in past or present tense. In one paragraph, it's in present tense and the next it's in past tense. There are even instances where there are both past and present tenses in one sentence. Like,

"I wish he meant it in another way, the same that I do. But, no. He is not like me, and never will be."

Most of this three sentences are in present tense, but the word 'meant' spoiled it. 

So you should really stick to either a past or a present tense. Although I think present tense would sound nice with your story, I think that past tense might be easier to write. 

Also, there is one other grammar mistake I found other than the past/present tense problem.

"We're both broke and selfish, both confused and hurt."

So unless you're telling me they're both money-less, it should be 'broken' instead of 'broke'.

Plot: 8/10 Whooooooosh! I will give you an eight because I really like SHINee  plots like these are really hard to come by. How often do you meet an author who is comfortable writing about sibling love? Eunji loves Jonghyun in a couple way, and yet Jonghyun only loves her as a sister. And to add on to that, she has to marry her lover's lover? It's a unique plot! And the way Eunji chose to marry Kibum was nice. 

Flow: 8/10 I felt that the flow was really good, but the way you use italic words too much was kind of a turn off. Words in italic are supposed to be emphasized, and you seem to have a lot you want to emphasize in your one shot, but I can point out a few words which have absolutely no need to be in italic. A few examples would be:

"I'm beyond grateful to have him by my side and I thought it was something 'normal', loving him so much." I feel that both aren't needed.

"I am not quite certain how exactly it happened." 

"But the world is telling me that I'm wrong, that what I have is against what's 'right', and that I can't fall in love. Not, with my brother." Forgot to point this out in the grammar section, but the comma between 'Not' and 'with' is not needed.

There are actually much more words that needn't to be in italian but because you disabled text selection, it is painful... So if you really need the help, you could always pm me.

Effect on reader: 8/10 This was not a bad story, and of course it is even better as it's about SHINee :P I really love how you presented Key! Also, the way you write is incredible, so if you fix your tenses I am sure it would be really, really magnificent. I really like stories like that but I still feel like you could have elaborated more. And you should also elaborate more on Eunji's feelings. Use more phrases and adjectives so it gives more impact. 

Overall: 75/100

P.S can I just add that the story image is really classy? Love it!