REVIEW PICKUP: chasingmelody

Title: 4/5 She hasn’t exactly cheated on Suho.. but I guess things will happen in the next chapters.

Description: 4/5 Your description is in past tense so:

"... the minute before you walk the aisle..." should be, "... the minute before you walked the aisle..."

"You are ready to..." should be, "You were ready to..." But overall, it covers what needs to be covered in a description. 

Vocabulary: 7/10 There was no vocabulary that caught my attention.

Grammar: 7/10 Your story is in past tense.

Mainly in the first, second, and third chapter, there would be paragraphs where the tenses would suddenly change to present tense. Proofread it and change the tenses to past. Change the are's to were's, can's to could's, will's to would's... This refers to all of the words throughout the story. 

You don't need to add 'that' in sentences. It just drags the sentence and makes it longer than it needs to be. 

Plot: 9/10 

Effect on reader: 8/10 I can’t say that I’ve been affected since it’s only been five chapters but I like the sudden feel of tension when Kai confessed.

Flow: 8/10 Again, it’s only been five chapters so I can’t say much.

Like how the OC said, she would’ve only married Suho if she was absolutely sure about it – she would not have any feelings for anyone else. But she still did. That makes me go, “why would she marry him then?”

Overall: 78/100 It’s nice so far. I’ve subscribed to your story and I’ll be anticipating your next update!

REVIEWER: Jindos21

REVIEW FINISHED ON: 07/30/2014

Reviews are not meant to insult so please don't take our reviews too harshly! This is only from one's point of view.

You can read her story here!