MimiRo
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Title: 5/5 The h in heaven can be capitalized since it’s a title. But besides that, it fits the story perfectly.
Description: 4/5
Vocabulary: 8/10
Grammar: 4/10 There were errors in spelling and grammar – prepositions, commas, and periods.
Plot: 10/10
Effect on reader: 8/10
Flow: 6/10 There were a lot of sentences that started with I. It kind of took away her despair when she realized that it was a fantasy. You can narrow down the words. For example, instead of, “I got no reactions.” It can be, “There were no reactions.” You can get even more detailed and say, “Everyone blinked, staring at me with unamused eyes.”
Overall: 75/100
REVIEWER: Jindos21
REVIEW FINISHED ON: 06/18/2014
Reviews are not meant to insult so please don't take our reviews too harshly! This is only from one's point of view.
You can read her story here!
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