The room was quiet, everyone stood still and no one said a thing. I had imagined this exact moment in my head millions of times. What I would do, what I would say if I ever saw him again. Each one always played out so differently, but now that he was standing a few feet away none of those scenarios were helping me. My mind was a fuzz. Maybe this was all just in my head. This wouldn’t be the first time I pictured him next to me. No, this time it was different. This wasn’t an illusion because the footsteps he took towards me echoed in the empty house. I could hear them they were almost as loud as my beating heart. I stood frozen in time as I watched him get closer. He looked thinner from the last time I saw him, but he still had a built physique. His chiseled jaw line was much more prominent, and his beautiful brown eyes stared back at me in anguish. As he walked closer to me and I noticed he had a small limp in his step. I instinctively found myself taking the exact same steps back until I collided with a hard chest. I turned my head back to find Jongin standing behind me. He looked down at me and gave me an unreadable expression before turning his attention back to YiFan who stood only a few inches away from me me now. It was hard to breath, I felt suffocated between both men.

"Minzy..." YiFan began, but I didn't let him finish. I raised my hand and delivered a well deserved slap across his face and then turned and slapped Jongin as well. I hated them! I hated them both so much! What kind of sick game were they playing? I turned back to Yifan and his expression seemed disappointed as if this wasn't what he wanted our reunion to be like.

I had all these mixed emotions running through me. My mind and heart were in a constant battle with each other and they were loudly voicing their opinions at the moment.

My heart yearned for him all these months and it longed for his return and now that he was back my heart wanted his warmth and embrace again. He was the medicine I needed to cure my broken heart. My brain, however, was complex. It had it's delusional side and it's rational side. Of course my rationality told me to leave that I no longer deserved the torture these two orchestrated against me. And for once I was going to let my brain win.

I escaped past Jongin and headed straight towards the doors. But he was faster than me and was able to shut the door before I could get a foot out.

“Stop it.” he said.

“Open the door.” I challenged him. I needed to leave before I burst into tears.

“Minzy please. Let’s talk.” I heard YiFan say from behind.

“I have nothing to say to you. I got your message loud and clear when you abandoned me.” I stated. My back to him at all times. I was scared to face him because I knew my weak heart would take him back in an instant.

“Minzy, I never abandoned you.” How dare he say such stupidity. Why was he blatantly lying now?

“What do you want?! What do you want from me?! Haven't you tortured me enough?” I questioned as the first tear rolled down.

“Minzy, I never meant for you to feel that way.”

“Just stop! Please. I don’t… I don’t deserve this. I don’t want to hear from you. I’m going to live my life happily away from you with someone that’ll love me how I’m meant to be loved, you bastard!.” I said through tears.

“No, no, I won’t let that happen, unless that someone is me. I won’t let you be happy.” He said as the muscles of his face tightened and his fists clenched at the mention of someone else.

“You self-centered bastard!” I screamed as I lunged at him in full force. I was angry, I was hurt and I needed to let him to know that. He allowed me a few swings and punches to the chest before he enclosed me in a tight hug.

“Calm down.” He said next to my ear. I squirmed in his grip, but I only managed to turn myself around and face Jongin.

“Let go!” I screamed as I tried to get out of his grip.

“Yifan…” I heard Jongin say in an attempt to control the situation.

“Leave us alone.” Yifan told him.

“But.”

“Leave!” He commanded. I watched as he hesitantly left. He gave me one last look before closing the door behind him.

“Minzy” he said as he tightened his grip around me.

“No. I won’t let you brainwash me!” Not again at least. I screamed and flailed in order get away from him, but the more I did the tighter his grip got. “You’re hurting me!”

“Then stop acting like this and let’s talk like civilized people.”

“You’re far from civilized, you monster.” I spat.

“Stop it.” He growled. He was getting upset and angry, but I could have cared less. I wanted him to hurt. I wanted him to feel the pain of payment. He managed to turn me back around and held me close to him that I could feel his heart beating erratically in his chest.

“You can’t” I began as I continued to struggle because the longer I stared at him and felt the closeness of our bodies the harder it was to think straight. “You can't do this! You can't just come back and pretend like nothing happened! Like you didn't abandon me! Just let me go.” I implored.

“I deserve your anger I do, but I’m not letting you go again. Just… Just let me explain everything to you.”

“I don't want your explanations.” I spat as I stared up at him no longer struggling in his arms. I needed him to hear and understand these next words with precision even if I were to regret them later. “You should have never came back. I was better off without you.” I said as I stared directly into his eyes. His arms instantly dropped to his side and I was able to step back a bit.

“You don’t mean that.” A hint of pain flashed through his eyes, but he was quick to mask the emotion. He was right though I was lying through my teeth. It was hell without him, but I’d be damned if my pride would let me admit that at this point.

“You left me. I obviously didn’t matter to you.”

“No, Minzy, you are my world. Listen to what I have to say. I ed up! I did everything wrong, but when you're about to lose the most important person in your life you do what's best for that person.You nearly died because of me. It tormented me every day and as long as I was with you you’d be in danger. I’m not safe, but I couldn’t stay away any longer. I needed you, I craved for you all those months. And I hated myself each and every day that passed and you weren’t by my side. I hated myself for being a coward. I ran away because I was scared of the damage I would cause you, but I’m done being scared. I’m back and I don’t plan on going anywhere.” He finally took a breath and I could see the tears begin to gloss over his eyes. My tears began to fall again as I looked into the sincerity of his.

The moment our eyes locked he pulled me closer to him he brought his hand behind my nape and leaned closer to me. His lips inched carefully onto mine and I began to feel the will to fight against him fade away. The moment our lips made contact I felt the fireworks burst within me. The anger and resentment I felt towards him began to dissipate, and in its place the passionate love that had been dormant in his absence. This was bad...

“No..” I painfully pushed away from him. “No,” I repeated, “this is madness. We're a toxic relationship and we can’t-”

“You’re right, this is all madness, but if we’re going to go down then let us go down together. I know I’m ed up and I’m tainting you, but we can’t be away from each other Minzy. I’ve accepted that, you should too.” he said as he leaned down and kissed me again. I slowly felt myself melt into his hungry lips and everything felt wrong but so right. He pulled me in closer if that were even possible and I no longer resisted. I kissed him back just as passionately. My fingers tangled themselves into his hair and his hand slithered down until it grasped onto my bottom.

“Wait.” I pulled away again much to his protest. I pulled myself far enough away from him to try and collect my thoughts. I needed to be alone. I walked to the door.

“Minzy!” he called out as he reached me just as I opened the door ready to follow me out.

“No. You stay here I need… I need time to process all this. You’re sudden reappearance is too much right now.”

“Minzy let’s talk through this. Don’t leave.” he said as he squeezed my hand. Desperation written on his face.

“No just, just give me time to settle the madness going on inside my head right now, please.” I said as I swooped in to give him a small reassuring kiss. “Just wait. I’ll be back with an answer.” I said as I pulled my hand away and walked back to the small house in silence. I turned back every now and then just to see his figure getting smaller and smaller in the distance.

I loved him! I loved him so ing much! There was absolutely no doubt about that, but I needed a few more days to myself before I was completely ready to jump back into the madness he and I were.

When I got back to the small house Jongin was waiting for me, but I felt so betrayed by him I didn’t want to see or hear anything he had to say. I promptly kicked him out and told him not to come around tomorrow for the last All or Nothing show. I didn’t want to see his face. I called another manager to pick me up I wanted to spend the night at the dorm and head to China with the whole team the next day.

♚♚♚

My threats and clamors for Jongin to stay far away must have fallen on deaf ears because the next day he showed up bright and early at the dorm ready to head out to China with me. I needed to clear my mind and it was impossible to do so. Jongin kept trying to conversate about Yifan’s return and how I was dealing with it all, but I made sure to shut him down every time. I wasn’t ready to discuss the situation without completely thinking everything through. I was going to be smart about everything this time around.

The concert was a success. It was a bittersweet moment for us all. We had been on tour for so long and now we were going into uncertainty as 2NE1. Many things had happened that were out of our control and our company had not addressed them in the best way possible, so YG had called us in one day to let us know that after the tour we’d be on an indefinite “vacation” until things cleared up for us.

What exactly that meant we didn't really know.

I sat in my bed awake hours after the concert was over just staring at the ceiling trying sort out all my emotions. So many things had happened the last few days that my mind wouldn't let me sleep. I wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon so I walked out to the balcony perhaps the chilly night air would help ease my active thoughts.

When I walked out I noticed I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep tonight. In the balcony next to mine Jongin leaned over his room’s railings smoking a cigarette. .

He glanced over at me before taking another swig of his cigarette and blowing the smoke out into the chilly air.

“You lied to me.” I said.

"I didn’t do it to hurt you. It was to protect you." He casually answered back. Not the least faded by my sudden appearance.

"You saw first hand what his absence did to me, and you knew very well you could end my misery, but you did nothing."

"Did I not? Didn't you grow your own pair of balls and realize life could go on without him. This business does not secure his life, he could die at any moment and when that happens you need to know how to move one."

His words hit me like a bucket of ice cold water. They scared me. The thought of having to lose him again was frightening, and I was wasting our time together the longer I rejected the thought of us being together again. But I also knew he was right. I grew stronger through the time I spent away from YiFan. Jongin with his harsh words and attitude towards me made me realize many things. Among those was that I, in fact was a powerful woman, and I would never succumb to such misery again. My pride, however, would never openly admit it, so I just walked away with a “ you” addressed to him and left him alone with his own thoughts.

♚♚♚

(1) New Message Received

    Hey...

Sent by YF 12:00 AM

(1) New Message Received

    I know it’s late but I just wanted

    to hear from you

Sent by YF 12:01 AM

(1) New Message Received

    By no means any pressure.

    I know you’re taking your time

    I just… I miss you

Sent by YF 12:05 AM

(1) New Message Received

    It just knowing you’re so

    close and we aren’t together.

    It’s been more than a week

    since your tour was over

Sent by YF 12:11 AM

(1) New Message Received

    Sorry… I’m being selfish again

Sent by YF 12:12 AM

(1) New Message Received

    Take your time. I’ll be here waiting

Sent by YF 12:15 AM

(1) New Message Received

    I love you.

Sent by YF 12:20 PM

(1) New Message Sent

I have an answer...tomorrow

Wait for me. I’ll be there at 8

Sent by You 12:22 AM

♚♚♚

The sun had set two hours ago and the woods seemed darker than ever, but there would be no turning back from my decision. Walking to the big house I knew that the decision I made would be permanent, and life as I knew it would cease to exist.

The night was cold, and suddenly my outfit choice seemed stupid, but I felt the need to dress for the occasion. I wore a long, blue satin gown. With every step I took my left leg exposed itself through the long slit on the side. The neckline was low and my girls looked beautiful in the blue material. I wore my hair down in soft curls, and my makeup wasn’t dramatic because I wanted a more natural look. I held onto my heels as I walked through the forest in my sandals.

I quickly exchanged footwear and discarded of the sandals before opening the door. The lights were dimmed and there were candles creating a path towards where YiFan stood. Maybe we were soulmates because we both came prepared for the occasion. He wore a black suit and held a bouquet of red roses as he gazed at me with absolute adoration and…. love.  I made quick, steady steps towards him and time stood still for us. He wrapped me in his arms and we just held each other for what seemed an eternity. This was it. We dove into cold waters together. The point of no return was exchanged in that hug.

“I love you. I love you so much Minzy. I love you.” he repeated over and over in my ear. “I promise you things will be different.”

“Things will be different.” I affirmed. I had terms and conditions for this new beginning. I would not be made a fool again, but for now I just wanted to enjoy his presence and love.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” I responded as he swooped down for a passionate kiss.

Before I knew one thing had led to another and suddenly my legs were wrapped around his waist as he walked us to our bedroom. It had been so long since I last had seen this room, but not much had changed from my memory. Except Yifan had made sure to romanticize the bedroom as well. Glistening candles were set around the room and rose petals were scattered on the bed and floor. He lay me on the bed and I sunk into the soft petals. I wondered how I contrasted against the crimson color.

“Beautiful.” He said as he removed a strand of hair from my face. I could feel my face and entire body begin to feel heated as I watched him devour me with his eyes. His hand traveled along my exposed leg. Goosebumps arose under his finger touch.

“Tonight.” He said as he bent down to kiss my thigh. “Tonight is all about you.” He said as his lips kept moving up until they reached the start of the slit on my dress. His lips suddenly moved to mine as he crawled atop of me. He unhooked the back of my dress without breaking contact. He began pulling the top of the dress down exposing my chest into to chilly night. Suddenly his lips began to move down my neck and I could feel him and leaving marks on me. As his lips teased me one of his hands caressed my before his lips took the right one into his mouth. I couldn’t help but gasp at the sensation of his tongue playing with my . It had been months since the last time I had had any form of intimate contact so I was extremely sensitive to any form of stimulation.

Eventually he managed to slip me out of the dress and as he stared at my body he repeated the words beautiful and I love you to me. I quickly switched roles and pinned him on his back as I sat atop of him. I clearly felt the bulge in his pants as I grinded against the clothed area. He couldn’t help by grunt at the contact before giving me a devilish smile and flipping us over again so he was on top.

“I’m not done pleasing you.” he grunted as he removed his shirt. I marvelled at the artwork his body was. The tattoos and scars and muscles created a collage of wonder. Absolutely stunning. This would be a long night, but I was more than ready endure the passionate, lustful night. It all just felt so right. I belonged by his side, and he belonged by mine. Forever.

Afterword

I'm back with an update. Hope you all enjoyed it :) It seems there were some changes on AFF. I'm still tring to get used to them. Let me know how you liked the chapter :) It seems the new beginnings are off to a bang! Would you guys like me to go full on ? Let me know. Commens are really apreciated. And as always upvote and subsrcibe if you want :) Much Love, DG <3