I played with keys in my hand as I stood in front of the big house’s door. It had been months since I last stepped foot in here, but I needed to feel surrounded by them. I turned the key and pushed the giant door open.

Silence greeted me.

I took a deep breath as I continued into the mansion. It smelled like an old bookstore. The kinds that nobody visits so the books just sit on shelves and collect dust but they also have that peaceful comforting feeling where you can sip a cup of coffee while getting lost in a story. It smelled just like that. I ran my hand over the glass table top in the lounge and a pile of dust formed on my fingertips. What used to be a house full of love and life became a neglected and lonely place.

When I walked into the dining room it was as if I heard them. I wasn’t sure if it was the lack of sleep or the lack of food in my system, but I suddenly saw them all sitting around the dining table. They all looked so happy to be in each others company that it brought a smile to my face. They were all laughing at some joke unknown to me. “Minzy.” Luhan called out to me as he motioned for me to join them at the table. “Yah! Superstar you’ve gotten so much prettier!” He exclaimed as I sat next to him. A beautiful light surrounded him and his angelic smile was so comforting. I felt a tap on my shoulder I turned to my right to see Tao with that same beautiful light around him. I reached my hand out to caress his face, but just as I was about to touch him he faded away. My smile instantly disappeared and tears began to stroll down my face. My arm simply floated in mid air now. He was gone. I looked around and they all began to fade away. I shook my head in refusal. Why were they doing this to me again?

“You guys are so cruel!” I screamed in tears.

My echo was the only response.

♚♚♚

A week had come and gone by. I had come to accept their loss, but the pain was still there. I had to continue living my life as best I could. We'd be leaving for to China tomorrow for the second to last show of 2NE1's All or Nothing Tour. I really had nothing to do but lounge around the house completely bored and lost in my own thoughts. Jongin still hadn't come back nor had i heard of him since he left. I tried calling and texting him a few times but he never picked up or replied to any of my messages. I did it to make sure he was okay and in all honesty I missed his company. It was really lonely in the house without his constant nagging or smart- remarks.

A sudden knock pulled me from my train of thought.

“Seungyoon?” I questioned his sudden appearance at my front door.

“Oh! Minzy!” he exclaimed obviously startled by my appearance. I had seen myself in the mirror this morning, but I made no attempt to smooth out my bed hair, change into something other than my sweats. Nor did I attempt to cover my big, puffy, red eyes that I got from the nonstop crying. “Are you okay?” he asked with evident worry stringing his voice.

“No.” I shook my head fighting the tears that wanted to spill. “I’ll be fine though.” I gave him the best smile I could manage. “I should be asking you the same thing though. How are you doing?” I asked as I noticed the bags and dark circles under his eyes. Winner had just debuted and the stress from it all was evident on his face.

“Just a little stressed, but I’ll be fine.” he said. “We're actually on our way to a radio station right now, but I wanted to give you something.” He reached into his jacket's pocket and pulled out a CD inside of a paper sleeve. My eyes widened in surprise. Could it be? “Congratulations on your first song. I hope it makes you feel better.” He smirked as he handed it to me.“I'll catch you later.” He said as he ran towards the honking van in the driveway.

“Thank you!” I yelled excitedly after him. Finally something bright in all the darkness that was going on.

I quickly ran in and shut the door behind me. I carefully placed the disc into the stereo and pressed play.

The first strums of the guitar traveled through the speakers sending chills throughout my skin. Then my voice began to accompany the strumming singing every question and emotion I had kept within me.

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said
No final kiss to seal anything
I had no idea of the state we were in

The song continued and with each new stanza and chorus I felt like I was being stripped and becoming exposed to the world even if I was the only one listening in the empty living room. Soon the song came to an end and I felt the need to sit down on the couch because a rush of emotions began to wash over me. After he left I realised how immensely lonely I actually was. Sure one could argue that I had my members, but they all had their own things going on, and each had their own group of friends that they tended to. I on the other hand was in this industry from such a young age that I had very little people to call friends, but then he entered my life. He brought friendship, laughter, love, and most importantly companionship into my life. I was never lonely when he was in my life. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them while I buried my face in the small hole I created. I sat in that exact position lost in my own thoughts as the song began to play in loops.

My throat began to feel dry and my palms began to sweat. I knew all too well what this feeling meant. It was my body’s way of telling me to numb the feelings. I held onto my knees tighter because I wouldn’t give in to the temptation. I was stronger than this. I took a deep breath in and out as I tried to calm myself. In moments like these I really wished Jongin was back. The constant bickering and laughter with him served as a great distraction to me. It was almost healing as well to let out all my pent up anger and sadness even if I said ugly things towards him,but it’s not like he ever held back either.

I suddenly felt the left side of the couch sink in as if extra weight was put down. I looked up to my left completely startled. Jongin was looking back at me. He had a fading black eye and a healing cut below his chin.  

“Is this your song?” Was the first thing he said to me. I continued to stare at him in complete bewilderment. How did he manage to get this far into the house unnoticed, and the state he was in completely caught me off guard. He looked so tired and his bruised face only confirmed that something horrible happened when he was away. “You sound great.” he complimented my voice as the song continued to play in the background. There was a sudden burst of happiness and warmth inside my chest as I realized he was actually back.

I dropped my feet back onto the floor and turned myself to get a better look at him. He wore simple black t-shirt, dark jeans, and black shoes. He had his forearms leaned against his knees as he played with his hands. I noticed his knuckles were bruised and scarring as well.

“How have you been?” he asked sitting up and facing me completely.  His eyes showed sadness and vulnerability and it scared me because he was everything but vulnerable and weak. Looking at him was almost like looking into a mirror because he reflected my every emotion.

“What happened to you?” I asked as my hand reached out to touch his wounded face. Surprisingly he didn’t back away from my touch but leaned into it with closed eyes. My other hand reached out to caress the other side of his face as unexpected tears fell from his closed eyes. He was quick to wipe them away before he backed away from my touch.

“Sorry.” he said as he looked back at me. He tried to compose himself as best he could.

“No, don’t apologize.”

“This is so unlike me. I don’t kno-” He stumbled upon his words.

“Hey, stop. Everything’s okay. Don’t apologize for feeling. If you’re not comfortable talking about it you don’t have to, but having emotions is not wrong.”  I said.

“Stop.” he said as a smirk danced on his lips, but his eyes were still distant. He let out a small, awkward laugh. “This is making me uncomfortable.” He said as he laughed some more. He shuddered in slight disgust before turning to face me. He flicked me on the head shocking me from the sudden change of aura.

“Hey!” I exclaimed touching my forehead as I glared at him. He gave me a mocking smile before he stood up.

“Get ready we’re going somewhere.” was all he said before he picked up his duffel bag behind the sofa and walked into his room. I swear he’s such a weirdo. He has some major mood swings that I can’t understand.

“Where are we going?” I asked for the umpteenth time. I was running out of breath as we continued our uphill hike. We had driven a few miles away from the house before he parked his motorcycle in a small clearing. Then we began a hike up a trail that was to long for my liking especially since the weather was getting colder.

“We’re almost there you crybaby, so stop whining.” He huffed clearly annoyed by me. I watched as he stopped before this steep hill. He looked up as if to make sure we were at the right place before throwing his duffle bag up onto the plateau. It landed with the sound of metal clinking before he began his climb up to the top. It took him less than five minutes to reach the top before he looked down and noticed me at the bottom with my arms crossed. “What are you doing? Hurry up and get up here!”

“I am not climbing up there!” I yelled back.

“Fine stay down there. Hopefully the wolves don’t get you.” He mocked before walking out of sight. I would have stubbornly stayed down there if it I hadn't heard movement in the trees behind me.

"Yah! Wait for me!" I yelled as I tried my best to reach the top.

♚♚♚

The concert was a success and we were headed towards the airport now to catch our flight back to Seoul. Jongin was driving the van I sat in the passenger seat, and the girls were all seated in the back. Dara was asleep in the back seat. Everything seemed so peaceful and right that it felt foreign to me to feel at ease.

“I can’t believe we’re almost done with the tour. We only have one show left before it’s all done.” Bom reminded us all. She had a content smile on her lips. Yeah I could definitely live in this exact moment of tranquility for ever.

“We’re ing badasses.” Chaerin said, a smug smile on her lips as she leaned back into her seat.

“Damn right we are. Especially Minzy over there.”

“We’re here girls.” Jongin informed us as he parked the van next to the curb. Fans were already lined up near the entrance waiting for us at the airport. “Wait here.” Jongin said as he exited the van.

The moment the doors to the van opened all the fans began screaming and flooding towards us. I heard Jongin grunt in annoyance as he began to shield me from the oncoming crowd. He had gained quite the popularity online for being the grumpy, handsome manager that wouldn't allow anyone to come close to me. I believe one of the online articles was, "Minzy’s Ice Prince" the comment section was entertaining because it was either people swooning over his looks or cursing his mean behavior.

"I'll never get used to this." He said as the crowd became increasingly tighter around us, the cellphone flashes became more intense, and the noise level went up an octave. I let out a small laugh at his comment as I looked around and saw all the fans faces. I had grown accustomed to situations like these.

"Unnie! Minzy unnie!" One fan screamed next to me. I quickly looked over and smiled at her and gave a quick wave into her cellphone camera. "Here." She handed me a gift that Jongin was quick to confiscate before sternly looking at the poor girl. I simply shook my head towards as if to tell her to pay no mind to him. She smiled back at me and continued to walk beside. Her cellphone at all times pointed at me, and so we all continued walking further into the airport. Jongin became more preoccupied with trying to create a pathway through the mass than taking fans gifts away. A sudden look of realization appeared on the same fan's face as she reached into her satchel and pulled out a tiny wrapped box.

"Unnie!" She called out again, handing me the tiny box. She began to look around before pointing and saying, "from him!"

I stopped dead in my tracks once I spotted him. He stood tall so he could easily be seen over the crowd, and next to a wall. His dark hair and venomous black eyes stared right at me. I suddenly felt people begin to bump into my stilled body for I had constricted the flow of traffic. Everything began to sound muffled in my ears as I continued to stare at the evil man. Sunny smirked at me before shaping his fingers into a gun and pretending as if to shoot me. He mouthed a "poof" before I heard the first shot ring.

I suddenly felt bullets buzzing around me. I felt them piercing through my body before I let out a shrill cry out for help. I fell to the floor in excruciating pain as the floor began to fill with blood. Everything was beginning to turn that crimson red. The crowd began to fill around me before I saw Jongin begin to shove people away from me. He was screaming something, but I couldn't quite make out what he was saying. My tears were making it harder to see my surroundings and it was getting harder to breath. The last thing I remember were strong arms embracing me and lifting me off the floor before I passed out.

"Minzy, Minzy, Minzy wake up." I heard as a strong smell of rubbing alcohol infiltrated my sense of smell. When I opened my eyes I was surrounded by our staff and some airport staff too. They were all gawking at me with worried expressions.

"Back up." A harsh voice said. "Give her some space." He said. I looked to my right and there was Jongin giving the staff orders to leave me alone. Once we were alone he turned to me with a stern look. "What the hell was that?" He asked.

"What happened?" I asked. My head was spinning.

"I don't know you ing freaked out mid airport, screaming and crying bloody murder."

"What?" I asked quite confused. "All I remember is walking and greeting fans." I began to recount the moments before I out. "One fan gave me a present and then I saw hi-" my heartbeat quickened as I remembered the evil face. I quickly sat up, much to the dislike of my headache, and checked my surroundings. I checked my own body too, but there was nothing. There were no bullet holes, no blood, and no pain, but everything felt so real! What the hell was going on with me?

♚♚♚

The sun was shining brightly through the car's rooftop. It complimented our happy mood in the car. I stared out the window into the beautiful greenery. I felt him grab my hand and entwine our fingers. I turned to look at him, he was a much better view than the scenery. His light brown hair was messily parted to the side. His chiseled jaw prominent as he stared at the road ahead. Every now and then he would bring my hand up to his lips and give it a gentle kiss.

And then it all changed in the split of a second. The sun seemed to disappear and in it’s place was a gloomy sky. He held a gun instead my hand now as the car sped at its maximum speed.

Windows began shattering as bullets began to impact the glass. Soon enough they were flying into the car and YiFan was retaliating the attack with his own handgun. It wasn’t to long before their bullets reached us. I touched the stinging areas on my body only to see my hands filled with blood. Then the car began swerving uncontrollably. When I looked over at Yifan his hands weren’t on the steering wheel. He was hunched over in his seat like a dead corpse. He was bleeding profusely from his right chest and his breathing was haggard as he turned to look at me. My own breathing was slowly decreasing. No! I didn’t want us to die this! Wake up!

Wake up!

“Hey! Wake up!” Jongin screamed. He had a firm grip on my arms as he shook me into a hypnopompic state. I was drenched in a cold sweat and a shaking mess. “Hey, hey, calm down everything's okay now.” he stated before holding me in a tight embrace. I clung onto him in panic and for comfort. This was the third night I had dreamt that same dream.

I soon came to realize that seeing Sunny again triggered something within my brain because it became increasingly harder to sleep, and when I did I had horrible nightmares that would take me back to that dreadful day in Indonesia.

♚♚♚

I quietly creeped into his room and hid in his closet. I had found a new fun game called “Scare the Living out of Jongin.” It was my goal to get him to jump because whenever I tried he was unfazed or super alert about my presence that he’s end up scaring me, so when I saw his bedroom door open I took it as an opportunity to finally get him. This was going to be great!

I finally heard his footsteps approaching his bedroom and adrenaline began to pump within me.

“I don’t think that is such a good idea…” he spoke in aggravated whispers as he slammed the door shut. I couldn’t help, but jump from the sudden bang of the now locked door. “She’s doing better than when I first met her that’s true but…” he rolled his eyes as the person he was talking to interrupted him. “No I don’t think it’s a good time…Minzy, she’s still not okay.” He was talking about me! “She still cries at night, sometimes she wakes up screaming from nightmares…” I stood there dumbfounded. I had given him my utmost trust. He had seen me in my worst, and this was how he was using it - telling someone else my darkest secrets. Anger began to flood my veins as I realised what an actual scumbag he was, and how stupid I was to trust him so easily. Could he be possibly selling this information to a tabloid? “It’s not a good idea… she’s...”

“I’m what?” I called out stepping out of the closet. He was obviously startled by my intrusion. “Who are you talking to?” I asked completely pissed off. “You sure have a lot to say about me don’t you?” I said as I charged towards him, and I snatched the phone from his hand.

“Yah! What the hell?! Give it to me!” He shouted as he lunged for me. I quickly moved away, so that only his fingertips were able to graze me in an attempt to take the phone away.

“Who the hell is this?! Dispatch? Star News? What the hell do u want? Is he selling you stories about me. Minzy, the crazy girl, right?” I huffed into the phone as I kept moving away from Jongin who was trying to take back his device. “Answer me!” I yelled into the phone. I landed with an “umph” onto the bed as he finally got ahold of me. He pinned me onto the bed.

“Give me...Give me the phone!” He screamed as we began to wrestle on the bed for the phone because it had slipped out of my hand. Whoever was on the other line hadn’t hung up yet. What I heard next made me completely freeze. Amidst all the fighting over the phone we must have clicked the speaker option on the phone because I heard his voice clearly.

“Don’t ing hurt her-” Yifan warned before Jongin grabbed ahold of the cell and hung up. I heard him clearly before the line went dead. How was Jongin talking to Yifan?

“What the hell was that Minzy?!” Jongin screamed as he got off the bed.

“Who the hell are you?” I asked in a shaky voice as I backed away from him and got off the opposite side of the bed making sure I was always facing him.

“What?” he confusedly asked.

“Who the hell are you?! Why were you talking to him?!  How do you know him?!”

“Minzy. Calm down. You’re talking nonsense.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m crazy… I know what I heard… It was-it was his voice…” I felt like I was going crazy. My heart was beating rabidly, and my mind was spinning with so many questions.

“Minzy, you need to calm down, or you’re going to get another panic attack.”

“Don’t ing tell me what to do! Don’t touch me!” I screamed the closer he got to me. I wrapped my arms around my torso trying to shield myself from whatever this madness was. My legs began to bend at the knees as they became weak. Realization began to dawn over me, I was made a fool again. The saying goes Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Right? Well ing shame on me!

I had finally remembered where I had seen the tattoo placed on Jongin’s chest. Yifan had the same exact one placed upon his ribcage. His, however, was a bit distorted because a bullet had grazed that same exact spot. The bullet had taken some of the tattooed skin, and the skin that grew over permanently damaged the tattoo. Yifan told me that all twelve of the EXO members had it permanently inked somewhere on their body because it was their right of passage into the cartel.

“Okay...okay.” he said stepping away. “I just need you to breathe Minzy, breathe. You’re hyperventilating.” He was wrong I was fuming now!

“Get out!” I screamed at him. I needed him out and as far away from me as possible. If not I would go crazy. “Get out!” I screamed again because he wasn’t moving at all.

“I’m not going anywhere.” He defied me. His eyes spitting fire the more I glared at him. I quickly dodged my way out of the room and headed towards the exit. I f he wasn’t going to ing leave then I would.

“Where the are you going?!” he yelled after me.

“Stay away from me!” I yelled as I headed into the woods I needed air, fresh air. This was a mess a huge toxic mess, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could survive in it. I heard him begin to follow after me so I began to sprint. The cold weather didn’t even bother me I just ran as I fast as my legs would take me.

I halted when I reached a wall. Just my ing luck! It was not a wall, but a large wooden door. I really was pitiful, out of all places in this vast wood I ended up here- the big house. I was a joke. I had unconsciously brought myself back to the beginning.

“Minzy…” Jongin said as he finally caught up to me. Not ready to face him I turned the doorknob and shut the door in his face. Little did I know the biggest surprise was waiting for me indoors.

As I turned around Wu YiFan was walking into the house lobby.I completely deflated at that moment. This was all just to tiring.

Afterword

First off Happy New Year!!! I hope 2016 has been amazing so far :) Secondly, I am so very sorry that it took so long to update. I truly am! The next update will not take so long! I hope you guys enjoy the contents of the new chapter! So many things are going on in this one. If you didn't guess it the song Minzy "wrote" is Adele's Don't You Remember. In my opinion the song fits perfectly to Minzy's and Kris's situation, and Minzy has actually sang the song. If you haven't heard her cover here is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eXXYfMPUos watch it you won't regret it! :) Comment down below if there's a song you think fits them or any situation in this story. I love listening to new music. I hope you guys also like the poster I made :) I'm not that great as others, but I'm pretty proud of the outcome. What will Kris's return mean??? What is going to happen to Kaiminzy's relationship??? Anyways, I hope you guys aren't to mad. As always please subscribe, upvote, and comment. Comments really encourage an author :) <3

Much love, DG