it has been three days since naeun have woke up, yes that means it have been three days ever since myungsoo have tweeted that. everyone was and is still shock that he actually did that. it's not like it's THAT shocking but the fact that kim myungsoo tweeted that was just WOW. naeun totally knew what have he done, but all this while, she didnt even say anything or express about her unhappiness about what he have done and that's weird.

myungsoo have not appear in the hospital ever since naeun woke up, the fact that the rest of the infinite members are here at least once per day, and myungsoo, the father of the child isnt even here. 

wait, what father, son naeun stop right there. no more. 

at that point of time, no one was there except for chorong; whose schedule got cancelled upon request so that she can take care of naeun. 

"unnie.." naeun called out to her unnie, who was peeling an apple for her. an apple a day, keeps the doctor away. 

"why?" chorong asked, not even looking at naeun, concentrating on her apple.

"you dont have to do this, i mean.." naeun paused for awhile, "you can go and have your schedule, and.. i can take care of myself." 

with that, chorong stopped doing whatever she is doing, walking over to bed, sitting on the edge of it. 

"stop. son naeun please stop. stop acting this strong when you know you arent." chorong said, pulling naeun into her embrace. 

"i dont know.." naeun muttered softly.

i always try to show people my strong side, but everytime i just get reminded of how pathetic i really am and i just end up breaking down. 

"i actually heard about you and myungsoo - " chorong said, and was waiting for naeun to react but she didnt. 

naeun knew that someday, someone in her group will know. someone in infinite will know. and then, everyone in infinite and apink would know, the other idols would know and lastly, the fans.

"i'm tired, i dont want to overthink about what the future would become,"

"i dont want to face the fans who would said hurtful stuff about me,"

"i dont want any of it. so that's why, im pushing myungsoo away, because as long as he isnt there, everything will be alot easier," 

"i'm slowly learning not to let my happiness depend on other people."

chorong sighed, "what if having myungsoo would be easier?" 

"it would hurt. it would pain me alot." the girl rubs her own belly lightly, closing her eyes.

"i know, you didnt expect any of this to happen. no one expected this to happen. i know you didnt want myungsoo to be part of this too. i know you are blaming yourself and only yourself for everything that have happened and would be brought upon the group but look.." chorong patted naeun's shoulder.

"you may mess up, but you're not a mess up."

"you may make a mistake, but you are not a mistake."

"you may screw up, but you are not a screw up." 

"you may fail, but you are not a failure."

dont make me sad. dont make me cry. dont make me feel as though i owe you girls so much.

"if you are thinking like that, are you out of your mind?" 

yes.

"you are not your own downfall, son naeun. " 

"we, and the guys would be there for you through all your ups and downs."

"no pain is permanent, remember that." chorong ended.

but chorong unnie, do you know that having myungsoo with me, would kill me. he is like a vampire, whenever he is around me, he is slowly , leaving not even a drop of blood in me anymore. i can't do this. 

i cant let my baby die with me. 

it pains me.

but.

what can i do when i need a break from fake happiness that he have given me.

what can i do other than pouring my hearts out by crying.

what can i do other than sleeping the sadness away, and when i wake up, i would feel the same old again.

if i ever let him in again, 

the cycle would repeat again, and i would be back to square one once again.

i dont want it to happen. 

before i knew, i was in deep thoughts again but wasnt crying. it's as though all the tears have dry up, that there isnt any left to cry. i would wanna really cry the out of me, but now, i was numb. i couldnt feel anything, neither can i do this anymore. 

"naeun.." the voice called out, the voice who belongs to the person i dreaded but long to see. that voice.

"what are you doing here, where's unnie?" naeun