Is Your Heart Not Shaken?

“I can’t believe it! I’ve been asking you to get your ears pierced for what, two years now?” I turned away from Hyosang completely guilty. “I see where your loyalties lie Jin Jin.” I sprung up from my spot at the lunch table and hugged my sulky best friend.

“Jin Hyosang you know I love you.” I his teeth but squeezed me back in returned.

“You’re lucky your cute Jin Jin.” I smiled in reply, and as I was about to take my seat Sim Jongsu approached us.

“Guess what I heard from Woori nuna?” I looked at the boy not answering him because frankly, I didn’t care what him and his gossipy sister talked about.

“Su Ji, is coming back from the states.” I looked up from the table, caught off guard by his statement.

“I heard she turned down a contract over there. She told my nuna she was coming back for you.” I stood up and approached him.

“Well that’s nice for her but, I don’t see why she would comeback for someone who isn’t waiting for her.” Jongsu looked at me smirking, as if he knew something I didn’t and just walked away. When he left at sat back down with Jimin and Hyosang.

“Hyung who’s Su Ji?” I didn’t answer Jimin so Hyosang did.

“Bae Su Ji, Jin Jin’s first love.” Hearing those words brought up a bunch of unpleasant memories. Still I stayed as Hyosang told Jimin me and Su Ji’s love story, as he told Jimin I felt like I was reliving each part of it. It had been a few years but I remembered everything crystal clear.

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“Kim Seokjin get your lazy up!” I sat up quickly as if I had been splashed with ice water. I looked across my room as my mother stood in the doorway.

“We have new neighbors, come greet them.” I stood not caring about the bed hair I most definitely had, and made my way to the living room where the new neighbors were standing.

“Hello my name is Kim Seokjin, it’s nice to meet you.” I looked up from my robotic greeting, to actually look at the new residents, and there she was. Pale flawless skin, small face surrounded by soft black waves. She looked like a doll, and her name was.

“Bae Su Ji it’s nice to meet you too.” She smiled shyly at me and my family. She and her family stayed for dinner. I learned that she was a year younger than me and, her older brother who was a year older than me was to become a lawyer. Her family left after a while but she stayed in my mind. Soon after we started to become closer she told me her dreams of being a singer, I told her I wanted to be a musical actor, the only difference being her family was a family of lawyers who disapproved of anything not related to law. She always told me how depressed her brother was about not being able to live out his dream as an athlete, but he had no say in his own future.

 A few months after they had moved into the building me and Su Ji started dating. I didn’t think I could be any happier, on our one year anniversary, Su Ji’s brother committed suicide. We had been at the movies when she got the call. He had jumped off the academy’s roof, leaving a note telling his parents how much he hated them, how much he hated the world. It broke Su Ji; she would come home from school barely eating, not talking, and would repeat that schedule. It was probably two months before she let me in.

“Seokjin oppa what if I become like Sung Jae oppa? What if I kill myself? I don’t want to die oppa, what am I going to do.” There were no answers for any of her questions, so I did the only thing I could do for her, I stayed, I stayed and I held her for hours, no speaking, just tears. I let Su Ji cry like she needed to. We spent the night like that; it wasn’t until the next morning that she left her room.

I stayed long after Su Ji had ate and washed, the whole time I made sure she knew that I wasn’t going anywhere. Her parents were happy to see their daughter talking again, though it wasn’t much, but it was a start.

It took another month before I could get her out of the building for something other than school.

“Seokjin oppa where are we going?” I pulled her along the busy street.

“You’ll see when we get there, so shut up and follow me.” She did as she was told, and when we made it to the karaoke salon. I quickly got us a room, and before Sabrine knew it she was sat in a chair with a mic into her hand.

“What am I supposed to do with this oppa?” I shook my head at the confused look on her face.

“I want you to eat it.” She rolled her eyes at my sarcastic comment. “I want to see you smile again. I know all your fears, your worries, nut for today let them go and enjoy today with me. Okay?” I could see a swarm of emotion flit across her face before she flipped open the song book.

We stayed there for hours, alternating between singing and talking. And while I knew it wasn’t permanent, it was nice to see a smile back on Su Ji’s face.

When we finally made it to her house we were both surprised to see her parents waiting for her in the living room.

“Su Ji, we are so sorry.” I sat there on the couch with Su Ji, as her mother started what I knew would be a long and very serious conversation.

“We failed your brother, but I and your mother refuse to lose another child.” Su Ji grabbed my hand looking for strength, which I gladly gave her. “We realized that there is no point in trying to control your future if it makes you so unhappy.” Mrs. Bae turned to her husband then, grabbing his hand, and then facing us again.

“We are leaving Korea we’ll start fresh there, and you will start attending an academy for performing arts.” It was silent for a long moment, and even thought she didn’t say anything, Su Ji sat next to me trembling.

“From this day on we promise to support your dreams. I never wanted you or Sung Jae to feel like you were unloved, or trapped in your own family, so it’s time for you to start living the life you want.” And in that instant Su Ji let go of my hand and ran to her parents. I felt a sense of loneliness wash over me. No one had to say it with words; I knew our relationship was over the moment her hand slipped from mine.

“Jin oppa I’ll call you as soon as we land okay?” I nodded numbly, as Su Ji continued to reassure me that nothing had changed, that we would make this work, but I knew that at the end of the day we were just two young teenagers that would soon drift apart. Even knowing all that I still held onto some hope. But after two months of video chatting and late/early phone calls, we began to drift.

“It’s been two years since she broke my Jin Jin’s heart.” I tuned back into the present just as Hyosang finished me and Su Ji’s love story.

“So hyung what are you going to do when she comes back? I mean she was your first love after all.” I looked at Jimin not thinking twice about my answer.

“Just like I told Jongsu, I don’t care that she’s coming back, I’m in love with someone else now.” The bell rang then signaling the end of lunch. So after throwing away, my trash I made my way to my next class, not sparing a single thought for Su Ji.

A/n: sorry it took so long. I actually wrote this chapter and then rewrote it two more times, and even though I’m not one hundred percent satisfied, here it is.