* moon hyuna - Nine Muses *

*

"You know what? I'm little exhausted today
I was good at enduring tears
Today, it's like it's broken, my eyes don't listen to what I say
You know what? It's a feeling like your heart is empty
the feeling that no one is on my side
However, you might, it's like you might, be on my side
I don't want many things. Don't say anything"

*

"What is crazy?"

I looked up and saw my lovely eldest brother whom I haven't seen in sober for awhile, since I often didn't notice when he would went out quietly at the time I would be outside doing chores to help with Seungah unnie's little business. It felt really nice to see him in not-drunk state. Hyesung oppa used to be so cheerful and would always play with me when I was small, but for the past few years he had gradually changed, especially after Appa and our new Omma died. Oppa had been carrying such a heavy burden to take care of us all. He rarely smile nor joke around anymore. 

"Uhm, nothing." Did I say something aloud? "Oppa, do you believe in things like magic? Genie?"

"Aladdin?" He sat down on the staircase, next to me.

"Uhm, something like that."

"Yeah. Until I was ten years old, I still believe."

"When did you stop? Or do you still...believe?"

"Hyeonrin-ah, don't tell me you're deep in thoughts thinking about Aladdin!" He slapped my arm lightly and blurt out an amused laugh. "Yah pabo, I thought you're thinking of continuing studies and take your exam again."

"What made you think of that?" 

"Well, Siwan came the other night, right? I think I remember seeing him. He's a smart kid. So, I thought you guys were discussing about your future in studies."

"Oppa..." I gulped, and continued. "...but I'm too dumb."

"Well, there's no harm in trying again. I can afford to send you back to take the exam. Unless you really don't want too. I'm not that smart either. None of us were." I nodded and returned his rarely seen smile. Hyesung oppa always have the most comforting words, he was actually really smart, the smartest among us in school. 

"Just do whatever makes you happy, Hyeonrin." He ruffled my hair and went off.

One day, I would gather the courage to ask him about this...Andy, and tell him to find someone who wouldn't make him come home drunk every night, if that person really was the reason. Because a wonderful person like him deserves so much better.

"So, have you thought of it already?" I almost died of heart attack, when Romeo just appeared out of nowhere, at the place Hyesung oppa sat just a few seconds ago. It's still hard to believe, that such magical creature exist. But I guess, real human couldn't appear just like that, and ghosts don't exist during daytime, so he had to be telling the truth, as hard as it was to comprehend.

"I...I said it...I...don't want anything."

"I don't believe you. Liar. Just look at you. There's no way you wouldn't want anything. You're...the perfect definition of imperfection." He sneered.

"Well, thank you for your honesty. Tell me something I didn't know. No human is perfect anyway. Not even you."

"You forgot that I'm not human. Look at me, Psh, you must be blind to think I'm anything less than perfect." He dusted his shoulders that were probably elevated by his leather jacket's shoulder pads. With his attitude and fashion, it's really hard to take him seriously. What kind of name is Romeo anyway? It's as ridiculous as going around saying "Hi my name is Cinderella or Rapunzel or you know..." Honestly, it's easier to believe that he's just another troll trying to pull just another prank on people like me. Except that he comes with a super power of appearing and disappearing, maybe he just did magic tricks?

"Gosh, look...I don't want anything. You're so...vain. Go find someone else." I stood up started walking away.

"Do you really think your oppa meant whatever he said just now? Do you really think he'd be happy to have a short, fat, loser little sister who failed a simple school exam and now has no future?"

I glared back at his stabbing words, but found myself at a lost of words to reply and whirled back my head towards where I was heading, and continued walking as calmly as possible. Maybe he wasn't entirely wrong. Though really, who can tell the future? I could accept the other harsh remarks even if I don't think I'm that fat, am I? I'm just a little chubby compared to those girls with model legs and doll-like figures and features. Okay, more than just a little. But still...why should I be bothered? It's not the first time somebody call me fat or dumb or a loser.

"Hey Hyunrin! Do you think by pretending to be nice, it'll make you a great person?!"

"Hyeonrin-ah, wow, you must really missed me to come here again. You're not sending cakes again here, were you?"

"No, I just come to see you. Because I don't have any other friend." I sighed and continued plucking overgrown grass on the fielground where we were seated.

"Yah, since when you become a meanie? You're such a bad person!" He slapped my flabby arm, playful as he always is.

"