*

No matter how I try to erase you over and over
my heart only searches for you
I’m only left with the wound that was made because
my heart ached and ached
No matter how I try to erase you over and over
the only person that doesn’t disappear is you
You know about this but why do you pretend you don’t
Tell me why you tried to leave my side
No matter how I try to throw away those memories over and over
I can’t
No matter how I try hard to forget you
My eyes only remember you

These feelings, my feelings, do you know them
Even if you love someone else
My heart only moves towards you

No matter how I try to erase you over and over
my heart only searches for you
I must have really loved you

Come back to me
I can’t live without you
I still have something I want to say

*

"His name is Heo Youngsaeng."

"His?" My brain tried to process the new information I wasn't expecting.

"You mean?"

"Youngsaeng was the name of the person,...the person that caused Park Jungmin to become...what he became, and murdered everyone he murdered, and even...tried to murder us, especially Hyungjun. If you meant the person he called his lover as the person he loved but never reciprocated his feelings, he's Heo Youngsaeng."

I glanced at Minwoo ssi in confusion, but he urged me to concentrate. Of course I need to do that. I was just...not expecting Romeo's lover to actually be...a he. If he's into guys, why would he want Hyuna unnie to be his mistress?

Probably seeing my silence, Minwoo ssi took over the questioning, asking more about this, Heo Youngsaeng ssi.

"He's dead."

"What? How did he died?" I gasped, strangely earning a scoff from Minwoo ssi.

"Park Jungmin." She simply answered.

"What? But...he loved him...so... why?"

"Wow, you're really that slow, huh?" Minwoo ssi shook his head.

Maybe I really am slow. Maybe I really am stupid. But I couldn't imagine killing the very person we love simply because that person didn't love us back. Seungjae oppa loved Joohyun, but I never felt like killing him. I wanted to see him happy, even if his happiness tore my heart. Even if I wished that happiness and his smiles belonged to myself, I would never hurt him, or Joohyun just because I couldn't get him. They suit each other better anyway, and even if it's not Joohyun, Seungjae oppa wouldn't have fallen for me either. And she made him happy, why would I want to ruin that?

But in the end, I caused everything to fell apart. I caused Seungjae oppa's pain. I caused Joohyun's death. Because of my jealousy. What difference am I from Romeo? He's evil, and he acknowledged his own side, while I, I kept preaching the importance of being kind, while I had done all that happened. I even caused the death of my own brother and Eunji unnie who's completely innocent.

What better am I than him? I'm worse.

So much worse.

"Yah, are you listening?!" Minwoo ssi snapped.

"Huh...y...yeah. Sorry." I bowed.

"Don't worry. I haven't continue anything. You looked disturbed,...are you sure we should continue now?"

"Yes, please, Jisook ssi. I'm sorry."

"Well, Heo Youngsaeng had a boyfriend. Not a good guy. Youngsaeng knew Park Jungmin liked him, but he's made his choice. You know that feeling...when you know you're doing something wrong, but you did it anyway because your heart wants to and it felt right to you?"

"What's wrong with Youngsaeng ssi's girl...I mean...boyfriend?"

"He...liked to break people's hearts. Well, not really...but he's not exactly a good person. He changed partners every now and then..." She seemed to have a hard time trying to explain and kept fidgeting, that it made me felt bad and almost wanted to stop her, if it wasn't for Minwoo ssi's constant glarings.

"Well, sometimes you just changes heart. It can't be helped, right?" I tried to come up with anything that could make her feel better, even though I didn't know who that guy was to Jisook ssi, I just felt like I need to try make her feel better.

"You don't understand, Hyeonrin ssi...he leaves them...after...sleeping with them." Her voice grew softer towards the end and she looked down, embarrassed, and I didn't even know why. It's not like it's her fault. I didn't know what to say too, it's not like I had ever dated anyone to know how this works.

"I...guess, sometimes that happens too?"

"Tsk" I heard Minwoo ssi hissed but my priority was making Jisook ssi felt more comfortable.

"No, it's not. He...just liked to play around with people, and ruin them, take their ity and broke their hearts. He's just that type of guy. A bastard."

"Oh..." I didnt' know what else to say, but deep inside I felt glad and proud of Hyesung oppa, Kihyun oppa and...Seungjae oppa, even Siwan. I'm blessed to have wonderful people in my life. At least they're not bad guys.

"But who's that bastard? That's the question. Hyungjun?" Minwoo ssi quipped in his usual impatience, and it made me realized I had totally forgotten about how and where Hyungjun ssi fit in this picture, but I really doubt it's him. He looked too bright and innocent in that yearbook. His smile was so heartwarming. It couldn't be him, could it?

"No! Hyungjun oppa's not that kind of person! He's kind and innocent. It's all my fault!"

"Oppa?" Only that one word escaped my mouth.

"Thought he's your Master? Employer?" Why did Minwoo ssi's tone made it sound like he wasn't surprised at all?

"Hyungjun oppa, he's... my brother. But right now, he doesn't remember Park Jungmin anymore, and he doesn't remember me either, that's why I'm acting as his maid, so I could remain with him. So please don't remind him or his life would be in danger."

"Why is his life in danger? And how come he doesn't remember?" I reached for her hands, she just looked too disturbed she was near tears.

"Hyungjun oppa..." She sighed and stopped, before trying again. "Hyungjun oppa, and myself, we're the younger siblings of that bastard who turned Park Jungmin the crazy freak murderer. Our eldest brother, Kim Hyunjoong. He's Heo Youngsaeng's boyfriend. Because of him, we lived like fugitives." She gritted her teeth and held her fists together tight, I could see it from the way her fists trembled.

"So, what did he do to them? He killed them?" Minwoo ssi calmly questioned, not even bothered by Jisook ssi's emotional state. How could he be so insensitive and cold?

"Yes, he killed them. Both Heo Yeongsaeng, and Hyunjoong oppa."

I gasped for the umpteenth time, even though I knew I shouldn't be surprised and even though she sounded no less calm than Minwoo ssi too.

"And who else did he kill?"

"Park Gyuri."

"And that is..."

"His sister. He killed his sister too."

"Ommo." My mouth covered with my own cold palm. Why? I asked, but the voice couldn't reach out. I couldn't hear myself, but she seemed to heard me, or else how could she give the answer I was l