*

[please note that the lyrics have been reorganized/rearranged/edited to make it fit the plot/idea of the fic, 
don't refer here for legit lyrics.]

I’m curious, imagine that I have changed
Me, who is trapped in the same place every day
Me, who can’t be stopped
I’m out of breath as I fix my toe shoes
The reflection in the foggy mirror is not me, who is it?

Putting on this unfamiliar mask till the end
And dancing this unfamiliar dance
Please embrace me, please accept me
Somebody to save me, is there no one?
It doesn’t work even if I try hard
Pushing me away till the end
Pushing me away because it’s the end
All senses get destroyed somewhere
In this moment even the clear results are illusions

I’ve been waiting for this moment
I will be reborn
Now Don’t let me go
Like black Swan
I am curious about how I look
I am curious, did I change?
Trapped in the two red eyes
Dazzlingly free
No no no no no
Please embrace me, please hold my hand
Please embrace me, please accept me

I’m dancing on top of the moonlit lake once again
It’s perfect

*

"First of all, Hyeonrin ssi, you can't save anyone if you can't even save yourself."

"Huh?" 

She stopped before me, observing my face as I stared blankly at hers. But no matter how I tried to recall her, I really, have no idea who she is.

"Stay still."

I stopped breathing.

She brought her hand to my face, brushing firmly on a spot that made me felt a little painful. And to my horror, she brought the finger that touched my face to and suddenly it, closing her eyes.

"What..."

"Don't worry, I'm not a vampire, nor I am Romeo and I have nothing to do with him, well...yet." Her eyes were still shut. She seemed deep in thoughts. Yet she talked like she's totally aware of everything. Even of what I haven't mention.

"If...if you're really not...that, why did you stop Minwoo ssi...I mean, that...that guy just now?"

She opened her eyes and frowned.

"It's strange. I can't trace him in your blood." She continued her finger, and though it was a very disturbing sight, she doesn't look like a bad person. She doesn't talk like one either. Despite talking of weird things and acting like a scary human...or non human.

"Trace...who?"

She rolled her eyes. For a moment, her small eyes looked a little bigger.

"Romeo...duh...you're really slow huh?"

Of course. Why didn't I think of it earlier? "I guess I am...sorry. But...how did you know Romeo?"

"At least you finally picked up on that one, that's a relief." She chuckled and looked around and I waited for her answer.

"You see, how do I say it? Ah...you had some blood agreement with this Devil?" She showed her palm, perhaps trying to remind me of it.

"It was...I didn't agree to..."

"I know, I know...it's just weird."

"Because you can't trace him?" I looked at my own palm. Is there a way to identify that through just ? Ah...she must be someone special then.

"Forget it. I'll figure it out first. By the way, secondly, sorry to break it to you but your acting , Romeo is smarter than that. If you think acting like you're trying to kill Mr. Kim Hyungjun there with such act, then forget it, Romeo probably had fun laughing out loud watching everything, if he bothered to watch. In fact, even Mr. Kim himself probably thought you're just spooked by some ghosts or daydreamed and acting unconsciously."

"That bad?"

She nodded and added another 'sorry'.

"Then...Romeo must not be surprised too..." I mumbled to myself, thinking of the ruined plan and how I had even hurt people in the process of trying to achieve something I couldn't even perform decently. In the end achieving nothing else other than more damages.

"Well, there is a possibility that Romeo was surprised...but it's the tip of the hard, frozen iceberg you're trying to break. Maybe, maybe he will think that you're telling the truth but you're just not used to being evil. But did you think of anything you shouldn't? You know, in case he could read your mind..."

I gasped, cupping both hands to my mouth. Why was I even discussing this matter with a stranger, when Romeo could access all our conversation, couldn't he? Why am i so careless?

"Don't worry, he can't get any information here."

"What? Why not?"

"He just won't, can't. Why? You're suspecting me?"

"No, it's just..."

"I wish you had answered yes."

I cast my gaze down to my hands, fidgeting my fingers. I didn't choose to be stupid, yet, it's still my fault for being this way. I'm trying. I'm trying without wanting to wish for it. Because I know that would lead to worse things. But it's so hard to be someone I'm not. It's so hard to be smart. I want to be someone I'm not.

"Oh...but...how did you know everything? Who are you?"

She smiled again. Somehow, even with her blunt speech, there's something pleasant about her that makes me want to be at ease in her presence. Is that also because I'm stupid?

She extended a handshake.

"I'm Ha Jooyeon, ...Romeo's assistant. Surprised?" She smirked and winked.

"Wha...what?..."

She remained silent. There was so much surprise, I couldn't even stomach them anymore but...it...just...it couldn't be.

"I don't believe you. Well, maybe your name is correct, but I don't believe you're on Romeo's side."

"And why is that?"

"Well, just now you said you're not with Romeo, and now you're saying the opposite, one will have to be a lie...and...and...all your talks before this doesn't sound like you're on his side. And besides, Romeo doesn't have assistant. It's clearly written in that book."

"Looks like you've read well. Well, you quite surprised me. I guess there's some hope afterall. Let's do it again for real. I'm Ha Jooyeon, Ha Minwoo's older sister, and the writer of that Romeo book he gave you to read."

My jaw dropped at the revelation, and I had no idea how to pick it up again. 

"And in case you're still in doubt, Minwoo asked me to help. He will join us after he's done settling Hyungjun and Jisook and make sure they're safe...although I really hope that was him."

"Why...did you say that?"

"I don't know...I just didn't feel his presence. Well, let's just hope I'm wrong since I was too busy with you just now."

"What...what if that's Romeo?"

"No. That's definitely not him. Don't worry about it too much Hyeonrin, let me ask you, do you believe in fate?"

"I'm not sure...well, ...wouldn't it be stupid if I do?"

She laughed at that.

"Well, it's normal to believe in fate. I believe it too. That's why you shouldn't worry too much. What's meant to be, will come to be. What's not, won't. Live your life without fear, because if something is fated, nobody can change it, not even you, not even Romeo."

"Then, does it mean there's no use no matter how I try?"

"Nobody knows our fate. We strive despite knowing fate can't be changed because we have hopes in us. Do you still have hopes? Or do you feel better to just sit and wait for everything to happen? People keep moving forward with what they decide to pursue because waiting for things to happen by themselves...that's just too frightening, doesn't it frighten you, Hyeonrin?"

"I..." I couldn't continue. To tell the truth, everything frightens me these days. Even living is frightening, but I don't want to be ungrateful. Neither do I want to give up for the sake of people sacrificed because of me, for the sake of people in danger because of me, I would feel too pained, too guilty, too hateful, to do that. That's why I kept trying, even though I keep messing up further. Which is worse really? To not do anything, and just wait while hating yourself all the while or to try do something, and keep messing up, only endangering people I love?

"I...I'm just scared of mistakes. The stake is too high, but at the same time, I can't just watch, he wouldn't let me, either."

She nodded a few times, facing downwards.

"What do you mean he won't let you?"

I bit my lower lip lightly, hesitating whether or not to tell everything, but I know I have nothing to lose. Things are already this bad, it can't get any worse, can it?

"Well, he knows I'm stupid and he's always mocking me for it. For not wanting to succumbing to evilness. Also, he knows how inferior I am, I remember that our...stupid agreement happen after I had a really frustrating day and felt bad about myself. Then he began telling me I could get anything I want and make any wish, claiming himself as genie that granted wishes, then Joohyun died, and when I confronted him and learnt he's not a genie, I let myself be tricked to make agreement with him to counter the first agreement. I was so stupid. I realized that's a mistake, but it's too late to be undone. Hyesung oppa and Eunji unnie died. Because of me. And now, he's targetting Hyuna unnie. I couldn't think anymore. I'm worried about Hyuna unnie's safety all the time. And he's always there, he even pretend to be nice person in front of them, while keep making me feel more and more like an idiot whenever they're not around. Well, even when they're around. He enjoys seeing me in agony. For him, it's entertainment. God...he must know that I'm just lying about bringing him to his lover in Heaven too, doesn't he?"

I kept talking and talking, and the more I talked it out, the more realization sinke