*

One day, all of a sudden, everything I owned, disappeared at once like a fantasy

The misfortune came like that
The pain that brings the death
Have confidence and fight against it and win
Only you can solve your problems
Your fallen image
You weren't like that before
Are you afraid of living again?

Shut up! How can you understand my mind?
(In movies, in novels, all these things happened, I thought they only belonged to someone else) 

No one ever asked me
Whether I was in pain or afraid
What was the problem
No one in this world can understand me now

My family that looks at me
Incompetent I.
Lord, What you're doing to me!!
Did you only love my qualifications till now?

Think that day (think)
Remember again (remember)
Are you afraid to live again?

One day, all of a sudden, everything I owned, disappeared at once like a fantasy

*

"Who is it?...Oh...Hyeonrin ssi...what brings you here? Come in."

He seemed cheerful. She looked surprised though, and not very pleased. She didn't keep the eye contact for long though, and shortly after, continued to stared at the empty tray in her hands. That's good, I didn't have any courage to face neither her nor Hyungjun ssi either. I shouldn't have it.

"What would you like to drink?"

I shrugged. Unable to even process the question from the person I'm supposed to murder and bring back his heart with my bare hands like...those horror flicks I used to laughed off with Siwan because they're so unrealistic they no longer frighten. Well, I used to be so afraid of them when I was younger. But Siwan loved them. And he would always drag me to watch the movies and pointed out all the silliness and funniness of the horror parts and how I shouldn't be scared of such stupid things and how I should just enjoy the humour in them.

"There's no such thing as ghost or devils, angels, vampires, monsters, they're as real as Superman and Spiderman are." He told.

I wonder if Superman indeed is real now.

A glass containing pale yellow liquid placed in front of me. I didn't even realize when and how I arrived in the cosy living room shaded in ochre, sitting on the sofa, opposite of the person I'm supposed to murder, no...the person I would...try to murder. Truthfully, my own hand made me nervous now. Is my hand still really just my hand?

"So, Hyeonrin ssi, you don't look too well. What brings you here?"

I realized I had been staring at the glass the whole time. Too afraid to look up at him, or Jisook ssi who was standing right next to him. Too afraid of what's going to happen. Too afraid of having no control over my ownself. My own hand.

I had to do this. I have no other choice. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Jisook ssi, Hyungjun ssi...if I'd shock you. I hope we're not going about it the wrong way. He couldn't be wrong. I trust him.

"Actually..." I gathered my courage and looked up at him. Jisook ssi had frown on her face, but I quickly looked back to Hyungjun ssi.

"What is it? Where's Jungmin anyway? He's not coming?"

Great thing to mention huh?

"I'm sorry Hyungjun ssi, but I have to kill you."

"You...what?"

"I want to kill you, and dig out your heart. It's not that I want to actually, I have to."

There was a silence and the lack of change in both their faces, before Hyungjun ssi broke into nervous laughter. Jisook ssi though, wasn't laughing at all, only stood rigid by his side.

"Well, that's..."

"It's not a joke. Really."

Despite the trembling, I manage to stood up and stare at my palm, before advancing to him, sneaking a glance to Jisook ssi, hoping she could understand what should be done. Because truth be told, I had no idea myself. 

"Hyeonrin ssi..."

Before my hand could reach his chest to take out his heart(and maybe I wasn't being determined enough), I was pushed to the side, away from him.

"Are you crazy?!"

"Ji...Jisook?" Hyungjun's eyes widened. "You can...talk?"

"Hyeonrin ssi, I thought we've agreed to..."

Suddenly I remembered the conversation yesterday. One I shouldn't even be thinking of anymore, and reached for the n