Victoria stood in the door way, glancing over to Jongdae who was listening to a song on his iPod in the corner of the common room. The male seemed to be writing something on a pad which was resting against his knees which were brought to his chest. Although she was far away Victoria could probably guess what Jongdae was writing about. From her distance, she saw the names Kris, Baekhyun and Chanyeol all written in a formation, with his own name in the middle. As she walked closer she saw her own name along with a few others scattered around the formation, which was now clear to her as being a triangle. She coughed, figuring that Jongdae wouldn't be able to hear her and was surprised when he took his headphones out yet didn't turn his head, "Yeah?"

"What're you doing?" Victoria asked, edging closer to sit beside him on the sofa, expecting him to jerk the pad away so it wasn't in her view.

Jongdae merely shrugged, "This."

Now closer, Victoria could easily see the triangle shape, or what she assumed was meant to be one. In the centre of the page was Jongdae's name. Three lines branched out from it, one meeting with the name Kris, another with Baekhyun and a final one with an unknown name to Victoria, Taewon. A further four more lines were drawn, one coming from Kris' name and meeting with Tao. One from Baekhyun's name meeting with Chanyeol, another going from Chanyeol to Jongin and the final one from Jongin to Kyungsoo, "What is...this?"

Jongdae shrugged again, drawing broken hearts between his and Taewon's names, and Chanyeol and Jongin's, "Just the love tri- mess I've gotten myself into."

He then drew a heart between Jongin and Kyungsoo and sighing, throwing the pad on the floor. Victoria eyed the lump of paper on the floor, "Who's Taewon?"

"A guy," Jongdae said, fiddling with the pen in his fingers, "An older guy. We had a thing going on when I was in Busan."

Seeing an oppurtunity to lighten the mood Victoria smirked, "Oooh, is Jongdae into older men?"

Jongdae let out a small dry laugh, "Not really, no. He used me."

Victoria wrapped an arm around Jongdae and pulled him closer to her, "How come?"

"When I was back in Busan, last year or so, my parents worked full time meaning it was me and my older brother at the house alone together. He'd make fun about pretty much anything about me or anything I liked. Taewon was one of my dad's work buddies and often came by our house to make sure it hadn't burnt down."

The duo couldn't help but smile at the last statement in agreement, sharing the same sense of humour had the perks.

"He often comforted me and stood up for me and I found myself slowly falling in love with him. Let's just say we got close and did things and a few weeks before I came here, he broke things off, saying there was nothing going on between us. He was, or is, what Chanyeol is to Baekhyun - self-proclaimed first love. I never understood why he left me, why he broke things off and pretended nothing ever happened. I assume it's because I was never good enough."

Victoria sat there for a second before hugging the younger boy tightly, his hair slightly. Jongdae relaxed slightly and began to spill a few tears - he'd never told anyone, not even his best friends back in Busan, so opening up to Victoria had taken a great deal of confidence and trust on his part. Victoria pulled away slightly and wiped away the tears with her thumb, "You know I don't do tears Jongdae-ah."

Jongdae smiled a tired smile, "Sorry Noona, it just feels weird to finally confide in someone."

Victoria nodded, "I get it, and I'm so thankful you did. You know, it's good to let it out once in a while. I'm happy you found me trustworthy enough to tell me."

Jongdae averted his eyes to the floor, "You're the person I trust the most."

"Not even your mother?"

Jongdae closed his eyes and sighed, "I think she'd go and kill Taewon if she found out. As I said, he's my first love, I still have a soft spot for him, regardless of what he did."

Victoria nodded again, "It's the same with Baekhyun."

The mention of his boyfriend but not boyfriend made Jongdae whimper, "B-Baekhyun."

Victoria cocked her head and wondered why Jongdae was whimpering his name before it dawned on her, "Wait, so Taewon's the reason you don't think you're good enough to be with Baek?"

Jongdae looked at Victoria again, a frown placed firmly on his face, a frown that showed more tears were upon him, "Y..Yeah..."

Victoria shook her head and grabbed Jongdae into another hug, this time a slightly tighter one, "Listen to me Jongdae, Baekhyun thinks the world of you. The world. He's not Taewon and I promise he won't do what he did, I promise."

Jongdae choked on some tears that fell down his cheeks, "H-He won't but Taewon did things he said he'd never do."

Jongdae pulled away from Victoria and looked away from her, shame lingering over his head and he spoke, "When I said we did things, it was more, he forced me to do things to relieve him. He destroyed my trust in relationships, destroyed my self confidence."

Victoria stared at the Jongdae's face, or what she could see of it, in horror, "Jongdae...I."

Jongdae turned back and flashed her a small smile, "I'm fine, now at least. I mean, the mental scars are healing slightly, you're helping with that."

Victoria shook her head softly, "Jongdae...I had no idea."

Jongdae shrugged, "You know, after everything he did to me, the deed and hurting me physically as well as mentally, I never left him and whenever he threatened to leave when I said I'd tell someone I found myself begging him not to go and taking back whatever I said. I found myself unable to not love him, unable to fall out of love with him. You see it a lot, when people encourage people in abusive relationships to speak up, but it's not that easy. You're scared because you know they'd hurt you ten times more if they found out you told someone, and in my case, I loved him too much to see him go down."

Victoria stared at him and wiped away some brewing tears of her own, "Although I've never been in a situation like that, I understand."

She leant over and picked the pad up and turned to the page with the obtuse shape, "Pass me the pen."

Jongdae stared at her and then at the shape before handing the pen over slowly. He watched as Victoria took the pen and crossed Taewon's name out, even adding a broken heart on the line between his and Jongdae's names. She looked at him, "First step to forgetting about him. I'm going to be here for you Jongdae, I'm not going to leave you."

Jongdae looked at Victoria and hugged her, tears falling again. He buried his face in her shoulder, "Th-Thank you..."

AYYYY

This is by far my favourite chapter, just because we finally know why Jongdae doesn't think he's good enough.

My ultimate aim in this chapter was to capture the emotion when Jongdae said he still loved Taewon, despite what he did and i hope I did that c:

I have about three ideas what I might do for the next chapter, all dramatic :OOO

Stay tuned~!

Comments are really loved and welcome to any new subscribers /)^u^(\