Two months later Jongdae found himself settling in to the SM routine fairly quickly. On Monday the company of groups would get together and decide who'd watch over which parts of the school on the weeks SM was in charge of said responsibility. He usually stayed near the common room with Jonghyun and Joonmyeon.  It was fun, the trio usually joked about how some in JYP thought they could sing. Even Jongdae himself felt that he was being dragged into the feuds between the Big Three. On Tuesday the company had designated free periods and who'd spend time in the common room. EXO was usually paired alongside SNSD or f(x) so he could retain his friendships with Jonghyun and Victoria, who had been moved classes since the tests after his 5th week at school. Wednesdays and Thursdays was when the groups got together and practised their songs alone in a set classroom or room in general. On Friday was when the company got together and showed off the songs they had been working on. They'd then rank the performances. EXO usually came third or fourth, sometimes second. SNSD almost always came first, only once had they been beaten by SHINee, the usual second placers. 

On the particular Thursday EXO was going over the routine for Growl, just to ensure a possible second, or even first place the following day. Chanyeol had returned to EXO yet kept his distance from Jongdae, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Jongin. In fact, he rarely spoke to anyone in the group, his main interactions with the eleven others were limited to those in the dance routine. Their dance teacher, Miyeon called practice off early, stating that all the boys had worked exceptionally hard and they deserved some time to rest up before the performance. The boys filed out of the room apart from Jongdae, Kyungsoo and Jongin who stayed behind because the two singers were having some slightly trouble with one of the more elaborate dance moves. 

As they went over the dance moves Jongin couldn't help but create small talk, "So, Dae, how's BaekChen working out?"

Jongdae shrugged as he turned his body quickly to the beat of the music, singing the chorus in his head, "It's...okay. I guess. Might not be after today."

Kyungsoo mimiced the movements Jongin was doing as he glanced over to the older momentarily, "Why not?"

Jongin turned the music off and slumped against the mirror as he poured some of the water from his bottle over his head, "What're you gonna do?"

Jongdae shrugged again, a bit more pronounced, as he grabbed his bag and took out a can of energy drink in hopes to regain some of the lost energy, "Problems. Let's just say I'm not entirely sure if I'm good enough for him. I mean, he seems like the person who would have a ton of people chasing after him."

"Jongin was the same!" Kyungsoo chirped, resting his head into Jongin's neck, it fitting seemingly perfectly, "But I got over it and convinced myself he wanted me."

"More like I had to tell you everyday for like a month," Jongin chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

Kyungsoo playfully punched the arm of his boyfriend, "Yeah, well, I can't help it. I'm one of the nerds in SM and you're like a stud in the eyes of many."

Jongdae cringed and waved his hands in front of the couple, obscuring them from his vision, "Argh! Get a room, please."

Jongin raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Okay~! Ms Jang's room seems to be a good option, right Kyungie?"

Kyungsoo stared up at his boyfriend with his large innocent eyebrows as he was dragged away towards the said room, "Don't do anything stupid Jongdae, I swear!"

Jongdae stood there and stared at the doorway as the sound of running footsteps pattered away in the distance. He sighed and turned to face the mirror, glancing at his reflection. He tilted his head and flexed his arms slightly, wondering what in hell Baekhyun saw in him. He didn't dislike himself, far from it. He just found it hard to believe in himself at times. He cracked his knuckles and slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way to the front of the school where he finished his can and threw it aimlessly aside.  

His phone began to ring in his pocket and he contemplated answering it before letting it go to voicemail. He really didn't have the effort to speak to anyone, not even his mother.

~

Hey it's Jongdae. I'm probably busy or sleeping, you know what to do after the beep. BEEP.

Hey Chenny, it's Baek. You're probably still busy with Jongin and Soo, so don't worry too much about getting back to me any time soon. I was just calling to ask if I could come round yours tonight? It doesn't matter what time, just, please. I love you.

~

Jongdae played the message over and over again through his headphones as he walked down towards his house. There was a hint of desperation in his voice, maybe even fear, making Jongdae feel all the worse for what he planned to do. Now he didn't know how he'd execute it. When he reached the door he reached into his pocket to get his keys, only to find he didn't have them. They were probably sitting on his desk collecting dust, waiting to be taken, which they never were. Jongdae sighed and cursed to himself as he rang the doorbell and hammered on the door for his mother to let him in.

"Mooooooooom!" He yelled, continuing his pattern, "I left my keys upstairs."

After a few more pounds his mother opened the door and laughed to herself at her son's foolishness, "Oh Jongdae, you really are a thing aren't you?"

Jongdae rolled his eyes and dropped his bag beside the door, "Baek called, can he come over?"

"Sure! Just remember - use protection!"

Jongdae groaned and shook his head, "No, not like that. He probably got some unwanted attention from Chanyeol on the way home and needs someone to comfort him, that's all."

"Oh, well, I'll leave a outside your door if you feel the need to use it."

Jongdae groaned for a second time before darting up the stairs into his room and pulled his phone out from his pocket, typing a quick, 'Get here as soon as you can,' to Baekhyun and got changed into some less used clothes. 

In less than ten minutes there was a knock at the door and Jongdae studied himself in the mirror. He wore a pale grey t-shirt paired with some fairly light brown chinos. He spiked his hair slightly at the front (see the poster for a reference) and wore odd socks - people who wore pairs didn't know how to live life!

~

The couple sat in Jongdae's room smiling like idiots at the screen. Jongdae had decided to search a montage of fails on YouTube and eventually came across a British show called "You've Been Framed!" which amused the two greatly. Once the video had ended Baekhyun walked over to Jongdae, who was sitting on his bed, and sat beside him, linking his hand into Jongdae's. Jongdae sat there for a few prolonged seconds, smiling awkwardly before getting up and sighing, "I can't do this."

Baekhyun tilted his head, "You don't wanna watch shows in English anymore? We can switch to Korean it's no bother..."

"That's not what I mean, I just can't do this anymore," Jongdae said, turning to Baekhyun and doing some elaborate motions in the air.

"What does this," Baekhyun mimiced the movements, grinning slightly, "Mean?"

Jongdae looked down and lowered his voice, "Op-"

He chocked on his words before sighing and looking back at Baekhyun, "Hyung I can't do this anymore. This being us, BaekChen, ChenBaek or whatever it's called. I just can't. I can't bring myself to."

Baekhyun stood up and stared at the younger, "Are you actually doing this to me? After what Chanyeol did, you're just gonna do pretty much the same thing and break off all ties with me?"

Jongdae shook his head, "N-No! I'll just say this one thing, loving you is like trying to touch a star. I know I can never reach you, but I can't help but try. I guess, what I'm trying to say is just let me figure things out, how to make sure I'm a good boyfriend to you, please Baek. You're destined for amazing things, I'm not. I'm sure if I can't love you to the love you deserve, there's someone out there who can, I'm sure of it. Just, give me time, please."

Baekhyun stood there speechless. He gulped down a few tears and walked out of the room, the house, silently, leaving a shaking Jongdae behind him, wondering if he'd done the right thing.

Sorry for the late update xD

I was doing some of my homework I got. I'm on Easter Holidays so I can update more often.

I hope you enjoy this :3