You lay in your bed, remembering everything that happened before. “Ayun?” you heard a small whisper from outside your door, just when you began to recognize the voice Chan’s face poked into your room. You turned around, and your insides boiled again, “Ayun, are you okay?” he whispered as you felt him sit on your bed. You didn’t reply and stared at the blank wall, suddenly tears found their ways to your eyes again. “What Taehee said wasn’t true okay? I didn’t-” you sat up and stared at him, making him cut off his sentence, “I don’t care what you say, I’m going to get out of your life and you should be happy. Oh, and by the way, that’s you early Christmas present from me.” You felt a lump in your throat form. “Ayun, you-” he began but stopped talking when you stood up and walked out of the door. You stomped down the stairs to find Charles sitting on the sofa, “Oh Ayun, just the person I was looking for. You see-” you cut in with an angry tone, “Give me the papers.” His smile faded and he stood up, towering over you, “Look, I was talking to-”

“I don’t care, give me the papers.”

“Dad! Don’t give it to her, I swear if you do-” Chan ran down the stairs and pushed you towards the kitchen but you stood your ground. You continued to stare into the man’s eyes, “I said, give me the papers.” Charles frowned but reached for a stack of papers that rested on the TV side. “If you fought with Chan I’m sure we can fix this but-” he began to explain but you were already flipping through the pages to see where you should sign your name. Chan kept on trying to convince you to stop and Charles just stood there. You finally found where you had to sign your name and you did. You began to write when suddenly Chan’s bickering stopped, and the house went silent. You looked to the side where Chan sat but he was no longer talking, instead he had his face buried in his hands, “Ayun, please.” He begged quietly. ‘He’s another idiot that I trusted. Heck, he pitied me.’ You thought and shook your head and began to write your name again. Your pace slowed down when you finally realized if you wrote down your full name here, you’re going to the adoption centre, surrounded by strangers once again. “Ayun… I’m begging you…” Chan whispered, which still had his head down. You were writing your last letter down when suddenly Charles sat in front of you and took your pen away. “Lawyer said you can stay.” He said randomly, and opened the palm of his hand which revealed your pen, “Your choice.” You took the pen hestitantly and started to write your name again, all the things that happened here wasn’t exactly good, nothing went okay here. You finished your name and put down the pen, you turned to see Chan’s reaction and it shocked you. He made no movements and just stared at your name which was written on the paper, “A-Ayun…” he trembled but continued, “You n-not really going, a-are you?” you searched his lost eyes and regret took over you. You shook the thought away and stood up, handing the papers back to Charles, “Thank you for everything, thank you for bring me back here. But I think I made my choice, when will I be going?” you asked. Charles looked up and raised his eyebrows, “No problem and it’ll probably be somewhere next week.” You nodded and took one last glance at Chan but regretted it after, Chan stared at you in disbelief and maybe it was just you, or did he actually whisper,

“You’re leaving me?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day was like any other day, but when you woke up there was no more chaos downstairs, ‘maybe they left to go somewhere’ you thought to yourself as you walked down the flight of stairs lazily. You almost jumped from your spot when you found Chan staring at the mug in front of him, ‘Well, someone looks dead today.’ You commented inside your head. Chan looked up and met eyes with you, he took a deep breath and began barely over a whisper, “The adoption centre called and said they’re going to pick you up tomorrow night.” Silence “Y-You should start packing…” he trailed off and stared at his mug again. You nodded and sat on the sofa, feeling this awkward atmosphere you searched for the TV remote. Suddenly you felt Chan sit beside you, for some reason that made you feel self conscious. “Hey Ayun, want to go to Lotte world tomorrow with Seventeen? It’s our day off.” He asked. You nodded and you two began to watch TV in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Tomorrow morning)

You woke up from your amazing sleep and dragged yourself to the washroom, ‘Oh yeah, I’m going to Lotte World with Seventeen today.” You remembered and quickly got into the bathtub. You were rubbing your head with a towel when you landed foot in the kitchen, curious of what all the noise was about. You should have known, what else would it be, of course it’s Seventeen. You jumped when you saw them scattered around the area like monkey’s looking for food. “Heya.” A familiar voice said behind you, you turned around and saw Mingyu, “Hey.” You replied and sat down. “Ayun, dry your hair so we can get out of here already.” Jihoon complained and pointed at the towel which was lying on your lap. Suddenly someone’s hand grabbed your towel and started to rub your hair with it, “I’m not your slave you know.” Mingyu said, still rubbing your hair. “I never asked you to dry my hair.” You shot back and grabbed the towel out of his grasp, “Well, I was trying to be friendly. Maybe it’s not in your vocabulary but it is in mine.” He rolled his eyes. You stuck out your tongue playfully at him, before you even took another breath Chan grabbed your towel and started to rub your hair, “Aish, Ayun you’re so slow.” He complained. You rolled your eyes but sat there waiting for Chan to finish, “Ohhh, she likes Chan more than Mingyu!” Doyoon jokes which earned a glare from you and Mingyu. Soon you all were out of the house and separated into groups for the ride. In the black car: It was Doyoon Seungcheol, Seokmin, Junghan, Jisoo and Hansol. The white car:  Soonyoung, MingMing, Junhui, Chan, Wonwoo, You and Seunggwan. The Blue car: Jihoon, Dongjin, Mingyu and their three other managers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe it was because you lived with him, but you’ve always felt safer beside Chan. Yea, it was definitely because you two lived together and because you guy know each other, better than the other guys. At this very moment you felt like you were going to die, you were at the very top of the rollercoaster, looked down below you terrified you but when you glanced at Chan’s happy smile, your feelings were washed away. Of course that didn’t last long, the moment you dropped you felt like you were really going to die, “SEUNGCHEOL HYUNGG!” and “EOMMA!” were heard from the Seventeen members, but out of nowhere you hear Doyoon yelled, “JINYA-AH!” The ride finally had come to an end and everyone was so excited, even more hyped up. Lotte World was the funnest and unfortunetly it had to come to an end, you check your watch and it read 6:00 pm. You glanced back up at the group of boys which were joking around, talking about nonsense, “Dad, can’t you rip up the papers or something? Does Ayun really have to go?” you heard someone whisper. You turned around to find Chan facing the opposite way, back was turned to you but you still heard what he was saying, “Dad, I’m begging you. I’ll do all the chores, EVERYTHING! Just don’t let Ayun leave.” Pause “WHAT?” he roared into the phone and jumped when you tapped him on the shoulder, “Chan, you okay? Were you talking to your dad?” you asked. He nodded sadly and held your hands which shocked you a little, “Ayun, I’m begging you. Don’t go, stay with us, we’ve all grown to know each other… and all that’s going to go down the drain, just stay please.” He pleaded and closed his eyes. You shook your head, “Since you claim to know me so well, you should definitely know you’re not going to convince me in one day. What you said about me, ‘Homeless, pitied, shamefull’ yes, I am those things. But I don’t give one single damn about what you think. The first time we met you’ve been wanting me out of your sight, and now? You ‘re basically asking me to stay, stay for what? To wither and grow old with people I barely know? God damn it Chan, if this wasn’t a public place I would definitely go punch a wall of something.” You shoved him away from you as you grabbed Mingyu to walk to the coffee shop with you, “Hey, Yo dongseung, what’s wrong?” you heard Mingyu say. But the only words that kept on repeating in your head was

‘You’re leaving me? You’re leaving me? You’re leaving me?’