You all went out for lunch and sat in one of the bigger tables in the cafe. When you entered the cafe the boys managed to find their spots but you just stood there, suddenly feeling lost. Chan saw your discomfort and dragged you to sit between Mingyu and himself. The lunch was filled with laughters and jokes but you only offered a fake smile. "I'll go to the washroom." you said quietly and stood up, heading towards the washroom when suddenly you felt someone take your wrist. "Ayun, let's get out of here." the voice said, you turned around to come face to face with Chan. You nodded hesitantly and walked out the back door to the nearest park. You both sat in silence while swinging lightly on the swings. "What happened?" he asked out of no where, you raised your eyebrows and shrugged, "I don't know." and that was the truth. "Well... what did your parents say?" you shrugged again, "I don't even know you. Why would I tell you this?"

"Well, did you tell your best friend?"

You glanced his way, "I don't need one."

"So, what you're saying is... You don't have one."

"I don't need one." you repeated. "You've living in my house, I think I should know why you are."

You nodded in agreement and finally answered. In the middle of explaining a thought came across your mind, 'This includes my darkest secret, the secret that I've been trying to hide from everyone. The reason I'm like this. And i tell it to this boy? Who cares, I've got nothing to lose. I never had something to lose.'

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"Ayun, you should've told me eariler. I-I'm sorry." he mumbles looking down. You glanced his way and scoffed, "Why are you sorry?" He lifted his head and looked back at you, "I-If someone's live was like that... wouldn't you feel sorry for them?" You shook your head and stared ahead of you, "People say 'I'm sorry' for what? They'll just feel bad for you, but they were never in that situation. They never felt how I felt." Chan looked down again and fumbled with his fingers, "You... You never thought of ... jumping, right?" he asked carefully, as if his words would kill me. You only shook your head and stood up walking back into the cafe, "They're begin to wonder where we went."

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You were sitting against the practice room walls once again, immersed into your book. "Hey, Ayun right?" a voice called. You glanced up to see Mingyu towering over you, covering your source of light. "What do you want?" you shot back. He didn't reply and just sat beside you. You put down your book, waiting for him to start his hateful words but to your surprise, he asked, "Do you believe in love?" Hearing the word 'love' made you gag inside. "Of course not." you replied simply. "Why not?" pause, "You've never been in love?" he asked again, moving his focus off of the ground to you. You took a deep breath and paused, "Never been loved." That reply took him by surprise, even hearing those words come out of your mouth were so different then thinking it. "What about your Family, friends?" you leaned your head back at his suggestions but shook your head again, "Hated." Mingyu's smile reflected from the mirror and you caught his eye through the mirror, "Hate's a big word Ayun." You smirked at his answer, "Love is too." silence filled the both of you when he stood up heading to practice again, "I know." pause "I guess 'loving' isn't in your vocabulary either."

You looked at your reflection and smiled.

 That word Never crossed my mind.

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Okay... so I'm sorry if it's short, but I promise the next chapter will be much MUCH longer, and I mean like... ALOT!\

Thank you for reading and the subs! LOVE YALLLL

<3 <3 <3