Am I supposed to feel this way?

You stared at the room infront of you. It was given to you since you would be living with Chan's family for a while. All your clothes were already in the drawers, they gave you a desk, bed, closet and everything else that you possibly need. You stepped in and fell on your new bed immedietly, "This is what it feels like." you said out loud. You practically jumped off of your bed when Chan poked his head out of your washroom, "What are you feeling?" he asked and sat beside you on the bed. "Why on earth were you in my washroom?" you asked, kind of creeped out. "Nothing." he simply shrugged and rolled onto his side to face you, "You're not going to change schools, are you?" You shook your head hestitantly, "What about your father?" he asked again, inching closer towards you slowly. "What about him?" you challenged, "He literally was going to kidnap you in the middle of the street yesterday. Ayun, get your head straight, just lose all contact with him already! You're basically like another member of my family!" Chan yelled in frustration. You shook your head, "I'm no-" you began but was cut off by Chan's slap in the arm. "Stop it, you're probably going to live here for the rest of your life, unless everyone dies. Just please, do it for yourself. He's just going to get you during school!" He yelled again, while waving his arms around in the air. "Look Chan I understand that-" you were interupted again by a knock on your door, "Ayun, We have something to talk about. Come downstairs okay?" you heard Nara say on the other side of the door. You sighed and stood up beside Chan and headed down the stairs in silence.

~~~~~~

The atmosphere was a little down when you sat down at the dining table. Chan's whole family on the other side of the table, staring at the papers laid out infront of you all. "Well Ayun, this is really your choice. You can sign the papers of perminatly leaving your family, they can't bother you anymore and you would be in the adoption centre. Or... just move back with your family." Charles stated again. You stared at the papers, "Then why did you even give me a room? I'll be leaving anyways." you asked and looked up, and found two shamefull expressions. You turned to look at Chan and he was staring back at you too. "Ayun, we're not saying that we don't want you here. But it's the laws, you have to sign the paper or move back with your family. We're basically strangers to you." Nara began gently. You nodded and grabbed the adoption papers, "Who would want to go back to prison?" you mumbled under your breath. You began to write your name down but Chan took your pen away. "Can't she just... just leave her family and live with us?" Chan suggested, "Chan, it's the laws. Either she goes back with her parents-" Nara began again. "But she doesn't want too Mom!" Chan slammed the table, "Just let her stay here, please! It's not like she's going to do anything bad-" Charles sighed and shook his head, "Fine, we'll see what we can do." Both of them stood up and gathered the papers dragging Ara along with them, which left you and Chan alone. "Ayun-" he began but you waved him off, "I'm going to the park." you told him and walked out the door, entering the cold night.

~~~~~

You glanced at your watch which read 9:42 and another puff of smoke came out of your mouth. "What are you doing out here alone?" a voice said behind you. You turned around, ready to bolt past him and run back into your house. Instead you found Mingyu seated in one of swings, "It's dangerous you know?" he continued. You nodded and sat on the other swing, lightly pushing yourself off of the ground. "You should have worn more." he hinted, eyeing your clothes, you looked down at your leggings and blue t-shirt, "Yea, I guess." you replied. You started to shiver and Mingyu dragged you to a bench, he took off his jacket and put it around your shoulders and threw a pair of gloves onto your lap, "You should be warmer." You nodded and curled into a ball. "Are you that cold?" he asked, you nodded a little hesitantly but regretting it after. It was too late, Mingyu already wrapped an arm around your waist and pushed you to sit closer to him, "Body heat's warmer." You glanced down at your watch again and it was already 10:05. You rubbed your hands together and shivered a little, in a swift movement Mingyu took your hands into his and blew warm air onto your pair of hands. "You shouldn't catch a cold you know?" he stated and held your hand in his. 'He doesn't like me right? Because honestly, I only see him as an older brother. Which I've always wanted.' you wondered. 'If I like him, I would feel happy and joyfull that he's touching me, but I'm not. So, I don't like him right?' you wondered again. You silently nodded, sometimes you don't know what you feel so you have to remind yourself how it would be to 'like' or 'hate' someone. "Ayun!" you heard Chan's voice call out, you turned your head to the right and found Chan running towards you, "Lord, my dad almost hit me when he couldn't find you." he managed to say in between breaths. He pushed you over a bit and plopped down beside you. "Hey Mingyu!" Chan chirped and stared at both of your hands, which you let go immedietly. "Well, I got to go. Ayun, you shouldn't be out alone at this time, see you around guys!" Mingyu sat while giving you a tight hug and ran away into the distance. You suddenly felt a pair of arms lift you up and place you back down on another lap. You glanced behind you to find Chan smiling, "You should've worn more." Chan stated and held you closer to him, but you just nodded in agreement. 'Why am I so happy all of the sudden? I don't like him... do I?' you wondered again. Disappointment fell over you when you felt Chan stand up, "Come on, let's go." he chirped while grabbing your hand and linked your fingers together. That giddy feeling came again and you started to wonder