You lay on your bed, eyes closed and feeling relieved that you didn’t go to the adoption centre yet your lips didn’t move. “Is it hard for you to smile?” a voice whispered in the darkness (which you recognized immediately). You stayed still and kept your breath steady, either you looked dead or asleep, but he continued, “Are you okay?”

‘Why would I be?’ you answered in your head

“Are you afraid?”

‘Of course I am.’

“Was life hard for you?”

‘Hey, I wonder.’

“You told me you didn’t know how to cry, why don’t you?”

‘I tried too hard to be perfect.’

“I’m sorry for all the things I said about you. I was out of my mind, I really didn’t mean to say you were… you were homeless and pitied.”

Suddenly your heart sank ‘So you really said those things huh?’ but that wasn’t enough to make you say something out loud.

“Do you like me?”

‘I shouldn’t, but I think I do.’

“Do I like you?”

‘You tell me.’

There was a long pause until you felt someone sit beside you, another hand found their way to yours and he began again, “Are you even happy?” You opened your eyes and snapped your head towards his direction. He just stared back at you as if he knew you were awake the whole time. You stared into his brown orgs and stayed still until you finally took a deep breath and exhaled a firm,

“No.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning was like any other morning, wake up, fix yourself, go downstairs and eat breakfast, go to the studio with Chan. You thought of his question over and over again, “No, No, No.” you said out loud. “No to what?” Mingyu sunk beside you against the wall. “Are you happy?” you asked him and stared at the way Chan was moving his body along with the music. “Yes.” And that was all he said, you turned your focus to the boy beside you, which was staring at you. “He didn’t mean it, you know that.” He stated and stared at Chan’s movement too, “Mean what?” you asked, although you already knew what he was talking about. “You’re not homeless nor Pitied, you know that.” He stared at you again and you turned to stare back at him, “How do you know?” you challenged. “At least that’s not how I feel towards you.” He lifted his hand and cupped it around the bottom of your face, turning your face to the right, left, up then down, “You’re perfect like this.” You smiled slightly and shoved his hand away gently, “All my hard work has paid off huh?” you mumbled as both of your eyes met through the mirror, and at the exact same time, the edges of your mouth curved upwards. Just a little.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Chan continued to be Chan and you continued to be you but even the members noticed the tension between the two of you. As always, the guy that was there to console you talked with Chan. In twenty minutes Mingyu and Chan stepped back into the practice, you shot Mingyu and questioning look which he dodged quite easily. “Ayun, come over here.” Mingyu called which earned a glare from Seungcheol, “Mingyu, you better start practicing.” but did nothing to stop him. Mingyu wrapped an arm around your waist as you walked out of the room, “What?” you asked. Suddenly Mingyu pulled you into a hug, “Mingyu, get the heck off of me before I kill someone.” You threatened but he just held on tighter. “Hug me back.” He demanded and his breath landed right in your ear. You rolled your eyes but did so anyways, “Now tell me why you’re hugging me.” You replied. He shushed you and whispered, “Chan’s watching.” You attempted to look around but he held you head in place, “He’s not sure about his feelings, I’m sure he’ll figure it out after this.” You nodded and gripped onto his shirt tighter, maybe it was because no one really hugged you like this, or maybe because you felt safe under his arms but either way you enjoyed it. You both pulled away and he looks around and grinned, “That boy.” he mumbled. You two chuckled and went back into the practice room, to continue where you left off. Mingyu being Mingyu, Chan being Chan, Doyoon being Doyoon, Hansol being Hansol, Jihoon being Jihoon, MingMing being MingMing, Junhui being Junhui, Junghan being Junghan, Jisoo being Jisoo, Dongjin being Dongjin, Seunggwan being Seunggwan, Seokmin being Seokmin, Wonwoo being Wonwoo, Soonyoung being Soonyoung, Seungcheol being Seungcheol and you? You’re just watching everything, not sure of whom you really are.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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