“He’s here!” I hear Jisoo’s voice shout from a distance, loud storming feet following after that. I look at Joon, who hasn’t left my side by the way…weirdly…but he looks shocked and relieved all at the same time. Just then Jisoo burst into the room we were all waiting impatiently in breathing hard. “Jisoo where were you?” I ask him but he just dismisses my question. “Not important! Alex’s car just pulled up, but he’s heading towards the East wing entrance.” He says, still breathing heavily. “I-I don’t understand what you—“ “He can’t let them see him. He’ll get caught.” Joon says calmly. I could sense a hint of worry in his voice. “Don’t you think I know that??” Jisoo asks him. Joon ignores him and walks over to the nearest window, putting his back against the wall next to it. “What are we gonna do?” I ask stupidly, but Joon only puts a finger up to his lips. Then he peeks out the window, and sure enough, there was Alex’s car slowly making his way around to the East wing. Joon’s eyes widen and he pulls the curtains all the way back, standing directly in front of the window and waving his arms frantically, but Alex seemed to pay him no mind. “Jisoo see if you can call his phone.” Joon says. “I’ve been trying to since I first saw the car. His phone must be dead or something.” Jisoo explains, still attempting to call while I stood there helplessly. Joon looks back and forth from the window to Jisoo, until he seems to become restless. “There’s no way they didn’t see him now.” He says through gritted teeth before storming out of the room. “Hyung! Where are you going??” Jisoo asks, leaning out of the door. “I have to get him myself!” Joon shouts, not looking back. “Joon come back! It’s dangerous!!!!” I shout at him, my worry slowly growing. Jisoo runs after him. “Hyung! Hyung!” he calls. They couldn’t just go out there! At least, that’s what they told me….but I couldn’t just stand there either. I take a deep breath and run after them. We weren’t too far from the parking lot, but if Alex continued to veer farther away, we’d have no choice but to go through the East wing to catch up.

 

Joon was already far out of sight, but I caught up to Jisoo. He was no longer running, now looking down at his phone. I look at him in confusion wondering who could be so important at this moment, which he notices. “It’s Alex.” He clarifies. “Well tell him to come back this way!” I whisper to him. Jisoo rolls his eyes, “You guys do wonderful jobs at stating the obvious.” He says, before turning his attention to Alex. “Ah, hyung! I tried to call you….you have to turn around! The Easterners are still here and if you keep going into their territory….it’ll cause trouble. Trouble we can’t handle right now, you know. There are other problems we have right now.” Jisoo explains. I can’t hear what Alex says, but Jisoo seems relieved. I can’t help but smile because the kid has grown up so much since when I first met him. He’s not as naive, and he takes care of his family better than he does himself. He was becoming a man now. “Alright. Come back down to the entrance to the West Wing. I’ll meet you there.” Jisoo says, before hanging up. He takes a moment to text Joon the news and then sticks the phone back into his jacket pocket. He clears his throat, then notices me staring. “Wae?” he asks, looking uncomfortable. I just shake my head with a smile. “My baby’s all grown up now, that’s all.” I joke, ruffling his hair. He wiggles out of reach and looks at me like I’m crazy. “Who’s your baby? I’ve always been grown up.” He says, matter-of-factly. “You’ve all just been too absorbed in your own problems to see it.” I laugh. “Yeah, okay that must be it.” I say. Jisoo just stares at me. “Noona….I didn’t mean to sound…“ “No, I understand. You’re right. A lot has been going on.” I assure him. He takes another step towards me, as if he wanted to say something, but I stop him. “I guess I’m just use to treating you like a baby brother.” Jisoo smiles. “Well, I’m not a baby…or a child anymore so…” he pauses, sticking his hands in his jacket pockets. I nod, because he was right. I couldn’t keep treating him like a child. “Okay whatever dummy.” I say finally, hooking my arm with his. “This must be how parents feel when their children go off to college or something.” I add. Jisoo laughs. “What are you talking about? We’re literally like the same age.” He points out, which I seem to always forget. He was just one year younger than me. “Right.” I say. “I always seem to forget that.”

 

We walk on in silence for a while, but just when I think I couldn’t bear it anymore, Jisoo comes to a halt, causing me to stop as well. I look at him in confusion while he turns to me and grabs my hands. I’m completely taken aback. “W-what…” “Even though we’re close in age, I have always thought of you as like a parent.” He clarifies. I’m relieved because I thought he was going to like confess his love or something. “I mean…you’ve always been there when I needed you…along with Joon and Alex, and I feel comfortable enough around you that can talk about almost anything with you. A-and I don’t really remember my actual mother so I can’t speak from experience, but for some reason, you have a motherly aura. Maybe that’s why Taemin took to you so quickly.” I just look at him with a blank stare, why was he saying all this after specifically telling me he didn’t want to be treated like a child? Because now I wanted to treat him like a child all over again. “My son!!!!” I joke, pulling him into my arms and patting his back. Jisoo laughs and pulls away. “Why do you like making me uncomfortable?” he asks. I just shrug. When he notices how relieved I looked, he laughs. “What? Did you think I was going to confess or something?” he laughs hysterically and I’m slightly offended. “Let’s just say, I’m glad you didn’t.” I tell him starkly. “No offense but… you’re not really my type.” He grins before taking off down the hall. “What do you mean? I’m everybody’s type!!!” I shout at him jokingly before following him down the hall.

 

“Where is he??” Joon asks, randomly bursting through Chief’s office door. We all look at him in shock. He looked so….not himself I guess. Jisoo awkwardly held up his phone. “He just texted that he’s on his way up…” he says. Joon exhales and plops down into the nearest chair. We all just look at him…unsure of what to say or do. Why was he so worked up? He always made it very clear that he didn’t like Alex, as a matter of fact, that he HATED Alex. “Hyung, it’s okay….he’ll be fine.” Jisoo assures him. “We’ll get through this. We always have.” I didn’t know if I should comfort him or what…instead I just sat there. “EunGyul hasn’t come back yet?” he asks out of nowhere. I shake my head. “He said he needed some time…he’ll come back when he’s ready.” I tell him. “What did you say to him?” he asks me. “Me?” I ask stupidly. “Rachel…what did you say to EunGyul that made him storm off like that?” “It’s not what I said, it’s what I showed him.” I correct him. “Well what did you show him? Why did he get so upset all of a sudden?” Joon presses. “Doubting me again…” “I’M NOT DOUBTING YOU!” he snaps. We all go quiet again. “I-I just want to know why he hasn’t come back yet…I’m worried okay?” he adds. “You’re not the only one Joon.” Doyoung chimes in. “Yeah? And what do you have to be worried about? Huh? Who else in this room are you positively connected to aside from Rachel? Is it her you’re worried about? Are you worried about her?” Joon snaps on him. “It’s not like that! Anyone would be worried in this situation! Everything isn’t about you Joon. I don’t know what kind of sick world you’re living in, but you need to learn to get over yourself.”

 

That ends it all for Joon.

 

Before I could even comprehend what was happening he lunges out of his chair at Doyoung, fist raised. Jisoo grabs him and holds him just in time. “Joon!” I shout. “What do you think you’re doing???” I ask him. “Hyung just calm down…okay? He didn’t mean anything by it! He’s just saying he’s worried too. Just let it go, huh? ” Jisoo begs. Joon snatches his body free from Jisoo’s grasp. “Why are you so quick to defend him?” he asks Jisoo. “You too.” He says to me.

 

“Joon we’re trying to help you! You’re upset…you aren’t really in your right mind right now—“

 

“I’VE NEVER BEEN IN MY RIGHT MIND!! I’VE NEVER HAD A CHANCE TO BE IN MY RIGHT MIND! I CAN’T LIVE A GOOD, PEACEFUL AND HONORABLE LIFE LIKE THE REST OF YOU! IT’S TOO LATE! I WAS RAISED IN THE WRONG MIND, HOW CAN I BE IN MY RIGHT MIND????” he snaps.

 

I rush over to him wrapping my arms around him. “Of course you can! You just have to want to. Joon I can’t help you if you don’t try to—“

 

“YOU DON’T THINK I’M TRYING??” he interrupts, pushing me away. “I-I didn’t say that…I’m just…”

 

I was lost. I didn’t know what else to say or do to calm him down. I knew he would snap sooner or later, all this is too much for a person to handle, and I’ve only been experiencing it for a year or two. They’ve been living moments like these for their entire lives. Watching people get killed, being encouraged to kill others, drugs, lies, …all from very young ages. Jisoo was 7 for god’s sake!!! “Joon just let me help you…please.” I beg him. “How will you do it?” he asks. “How will you help me? What can YOU do for ME?” he continues. “Hyung…” Jisoo begins. Just then a pair of arms wrap around Joon’s body from behind and squeezes him tight. At first he fights it, “Get the hell off of me!!” he shouts, trying to break free, but the arms just tighten. “You have to calm down, Lee Joon.” A familiar voice says calmly. Joon stops wiggling and turns quickly to see his older brother, Alex. “Hyung…” he says, though his back was to me, I could hear his voice trembling and sure tears were welling in his eyes. “What are you getting so worked up for?” Alex asks. He was surprisingly calm to be a father in his situation. “Hyung…” Joon repeats just standing there, voice still wavering. Alex pulls him into a hug and pats his back. “Now I’m your brother…huh?” he jokes. I don’t make eye contact with him, things were still awkward between us I bet, from when he went off on me in the car and all. We all just awkwardly watch as Joon cries into Alex’s shoulder, unsure of what to do or say next. “He tried to kill you. He sent all his men to kill you.” Joon tells Alex, who just exhales with an “I know...”

 

“Would you all mind giving us a moment?” Alex asks us.

 

We all leave without a word, Jisoo, Doyoung, Junhyun and I. On the way out, Jisoo pats my back. “He didn’t mean it…when he gets upset or too much is going on he just…goes off, I guess. He’s just overwhelmed.” He tells me. I smile and nod, “I know…” I say with a sigh. “I know…” Jisoo just stares at me for a bit with a worried expression. “Try not to hold it against him…he really does love you, you know.” He adds. “Araso, araso!!” I snap jokingly at him. He just stares for a little while longer before patting my arm and walking off. Doyoung doesn’t say anything, he just squeezes my hand with a smile and a nod and I smile back. I watch as Doyoung walks off with Junhyun one way and Jisoo goes the other way. I take a deep breath and walk down the middle corridor to find a room for me to stay in, just to be alone for a bit. Honestly, I just wanted this all to be over.