I hop into the passenger's seat and slam my door closed. Joon was already seated with the key in the ignition and ready to take off. He looks over at me as if wanting to say something, but I wasn’t going to encourage it. I knew what he’d say; he’d want to apologize for bringing up my long lost “connections” or whatever, but I wasn’t going to hear any of it. “Well, are we going?” I ask him in attempt to break the ice. Joon opens his mouth to speak then quickly closes it again. I wasn’t ready to receive another heartfelt speech about “being best friends” and “telling each other everything” from him so I reach over and start the car. “Are we going?” I ask him again. I’m sure he knew that I’d never want to talk to him about the death of my parents. Sure, it could be that I’m just “not ready yet”, maybe it could be that it’s still too touchy of a subject to bring up, but somewhere deep down in my heart I knew I didn’t want to talk about it because I still thought it was his fault. To keep myself from assuming things like that, I simply choose to forget it ever even happened. But if Joon decides to continuously bring it up… “Ya, Eungyul. You can’t avoid talking about this forever.” Joon says as he pulls out of Chief’s parking lot. I ignore him and point to the nearest street light. “You can turn right at this light.” I tell him. Joon looks at me and scoffs. “It wasn’t me. I thought you believed that?” he continues. I still don't respond. "Ya Eungyul! Are you serious right now?? I'm telling you I'm sorry for bringing that up...but the truth is, I don't think you've ever forgiven me. Can't you just tell me how you feel? You still think it was me, don't you?..." Joon goes on and on. I exhale and stick my earphones in my ears to block him out. The anger was coming back. I could feel it boiling the more he ran his mouth. "This is your best friend. This is your best friend...." I keep telling myself. "You don't want to hurt him. He's your best friend. He's your freaking best friend!!" At this point it was becoming hard to breathe. I wish he'd just let it go! The music was turned to it highest notch and I still couldn't drown out his voice. I grip onto my jeans, balling my hands into fists. "Your father was like my father! I swear I would never do anything like that!" He continues. My entire body feels hot, my teeth are grinding...my anger was coming back. I've always had problems with my anger, but not for a while up until this moment. I wanted him to stop, just let it go, but he wouldn't. He freaking won't shut the hell up! "Joon..." I begin through gritted teeth. "I thought we settled this in high school! I can't believe you seriously still think it's me." "Joon. Shut up. And drive." I tell him, voice shaky. I couldn't control it...I close my eyes and try to take deep breaths. "So you've been feeling this way for years! Shooting me wasn't payback enough?" Joon laughs. "Joon, is this a joke for you? You like seeing me like this??" I ask him. He turns his head away from the road. "What?" When he sees me his entire demeanor changes, and he knows he's gone to far. "Pull over." I insist. He hesitates, then does what he's told. Before the car even fully stops I hop out. I needed space, I needed time to think.  Joon hops out of the car after me, slamming the door behind him. " Engyul-ah!" He shouts. I try to speed up my walking. "Ya, Eungyul!" He says, now running to catch up. When he reaches me he grabs my shoulder. I don't turn to look at him, I just stop in my tracks. "I-I'm sorry." He begins, out of breath. "Sometimes I just talk without thinking. I'm just...I don't like that you don't fully trust me. The fact that you believe I did something that I didn't makes ME feel guilty. At times I feel like it really was me, only because you believe that with all of your heart." He breathes. " You're doing it again." I tell him, clenching my fists at my sides. "I simply want you to let it go. Why can't you?" " It's because you make me feel guilty!" He  explains. He grabs my shoulders and turns me towards him. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for not considering your feelings. I'm sorry for being so harsh towards you. I just want to know your true feelings towards me as your friend." He says, eyes wide. I feel myself cooling down, slowly but surely. I take a deep breath. "You're my best friend." I answer simply. Joon shakes his head. "That's not what I meant." He says. "Then what do you want?" I ask him. He looks at me for a long time, dropping his hands from my shoulders, then exhales. "Can you just answer one question for me?" He begins. I don't reply, I just raise my eyebrows at him. "Do you still think I sold your family out during your escape?" He asks. I don't even think about the answer. I knew it. I've known it from the start. Did I want to believe it? No. Did I see any other possible answer? No. So I tell him the truth. I walk right up to him, to the point where I could feel his breath on my face, and look him straight in the eyes. "Yes, I do."